The power of magic in our lives is based on our beliefs. Do you believe in magic? Does life seem magical at times? Can magic fill you with glee at the memory of your childhood? Is that innocence no longer part of your day?
We are born filled with all possibility to create a magical existence. However, we become trapped into the world of adults and their beliefs governed by society. A society that drills into us that more is the answer to life. We become overwhelmed by the beliefs of others on how to look, dress and what job we must accept. Cars that we drive even have a status in today’s world. How much money we need to exist and what foods we must eat. WHY?
“Find that magical place in life and live there…”
Why have we allowed our lives to be based on what others believe and think? Can we not return to the childhood innocence of a belief that anything is possible even magic! Is it not time today to stop and become aware of what stirs our soul and heart. What are we passionate about in life today that thrilled us as a child? Why can’t we release from our minds the echo of our parents and societies beliefs, and that which no longer serves us today as adults?
Through the practice of meditation and the act of going within to hear the silence from the depths of our soul magic is created. It is the magic we crave today that will inspire us to live our lives based on the truth of our own beliefs.
Many of us have had difficult childhoods but trust me if you sit in silence the memories of magical times from your inner child will surface eventually to comfort you as an adult today. Embrace your inner child to feel safe and loved by you today.What did you dream for yourself as a child?
We are all here to love and be loved, to forgive and be of service. When death comes to the physical body all that will live eternally is the love you shared and the light you offered towards another by being of service.
“Life is a sequence of moments and when those moments sequence right. It’s magical…”
The daily practice of prayer after meditation is the gift we give to ourselves as well as those we pray for. Reading spiritual books for 15 minutes a day enlightens our spiritual practice to create magic to unfold through our connection to Spirit. We will then believe in ourselves by the process of loving all that we have survived because our lives have passion and purpose. We begin to float through the day, loving our journey as it unfolds magically all around us.
It is the beliefs of our truth that we must cling to now – today – not tomorrow. It is time to change our ways and be the spiritual beings we were born to be. Stand up for yourself and be the magical spiritual being that you were created for. As our journey of magic unfolds it is that time that will nourish you to be the best person you can be. Why not strive for the magic?
“All I know is that when I pray, coincidences happen; and when I don’t pray. they don’t happen…” -Dan Hayes
Life is yours to claim and create that which stirs your soul to awakening to your truth. It is your passion that you silently held close to your heart as a child that needs to be fueled today no matter what another told you in the past. We as spiritual beings are extremely powerful by the simple way we use our thoughts, words and actions daily. We are all magical.
Life is a path we travel that creates the journey to fulfill our humanity by being brave enough to walk how we choose to. Release any old beliefs that you are not worthy enough, smart enough, good enough or even pretty or handsome enough. YOU are perfect just as you are. YOU are at the right place where you are meant to be today. There are no mistakes. Now let the magic in. Live your life not how someone drills into they believe you should live. There is no ‘should’ in magic.
“Logic will get you from A-Z! Imagination will get you everywhere…” -Albert Einstein
The last tool after meditating, praying and reading spiritual books is to journal your feelings on whatever pain you hold on to. Release the pain through the act of keeping a daily journal. The best form of therapy there is and you can do it in the moments that fill you with doubt.
Meditate. Pray. Journal.
There is sadness, and an ache for all that will never be. The loss is part of life as change is the process. Nothing ever stays the same. We live, and we die. We discover, and we make choices. Sometimes they are excellent choices and sometimes they are not. My thought is about processing the loss we experience. The only thing that is constant in all our lives is change.
“Mostly it is the loss which teaches us about the worth of things.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
The loss of our loved ones, the loss of our relationships, our jobs and even the loss of our pets. Terrorism is a loss, as well as drastic changes in our weather, fire, and hurricanes. There is a loss where a person you love cannot find their place in life and ends up as a loss to themselves and others. They only are fighting a battle that they cannot win unless they incorporate change into their existence.
Life can be dark. Life can be scary and feel unsafe for some. The loss is that which we cannot release as the pain seeps deep into our mind and body. We get that lump in our throats when triggered by another’s loss. We know our loss, and we feel their loss. How do we deal with these nightmares in our lives? The loss we feel is simply the horror that we experience or one we anticipate.
Tears need to fall. Tears are required to stream down our face and wet our lips as we process the pain of loss. Does it matter what type of damage there is? No! What is important is that we handle the loss and deal with the pain through meditation, prayer, journaling, and by embracing Mother Nature.
“Grief is NOT a disorder, a disease or sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.” – Earl Grollman
To embrace Mother Nature, we stroll through the streets of our neighborhood, walk through a park, sit in the sand at the beach. We need to breathe in the essence of her beauty to heal the heart that is wounded. Her vision will allow us to taste the salt air on our lips as the sun warms our face! To be grounded in the presence of Mother Nature will heal us. As we heal others will heal as well.
Many years ago when I was struggling with a loss of self actually, it was a daily walk outside and at the beach that comforted me. I felt connected to something that was bigger than me. I felt loved by the beauty of nature. It took me some time to heal and find that I could love me as I am. There was no loss anymore sitting within. I grew from the experience of this as we all can grow from any loss that we allow to shut us down.
Death is a significant loss of life for everyone. I have decided to stop counting the deaths in my life experience. I cannot imagine how much more will come. As I cannot choose who lives or dies, it is my freedom to accept that change, loss and death are part of the game. I believe that we are eternal beings, so there is no death just a transition from this life to the other side of the veil.
“No one ever really dies as long as they took the time to leave us with fond memories.” – Chris Sorensen
The process of life and death which equals loss is to grieve as long as is necessary. To cry, go to bed but for no longer than 48 hours with the covers over our head. Disconnect from life for a few days and feel the pain. Journal. Meditate. Pray. It will help us and those we are grieving if we pray for them. There is no set time to grieve. We must grieve those we lose to their transition. I always imagine that life and death is a tremendous plan we incorporate in the spirit world before we arrive as part of the game of life.
I recall, years ago when my brother died my mom wore black for two years. In looking back, my grandmother wore black all of her life because of the deaths of her many children. Was it a way of showing the world, ‘I am in pain.’ ‘I am grieving a loss.’ ‘I am sad.’ Today we seem to jump right back into our lives and forget to stop and mourn. To breathe in the death and loss of someone we loved is extremely necessary. Eventually, illness will surface if we do not take the time to grieve our loss.
Life has a blanket around each of us that is comforting at times, but at other moments it seems not to be able to keep us warm. It can be itchy or too thin! The drama in our lives that surround a loss is the sadness of the heart for that which will never be. Can we scream and beat ourselves up for something that we have no control over. No! Can we blame ourselves for something we have no control over when something or someone comes to its end? No!
The loss we all experience is part of life as we change and grow into our awareness. It matters not the type of loss but that we take the time to feel the pain. We need to reflect on our lives and our loves. We will heal from that which has changed because our lives are all eternal.
Loss of self is the hardest for the person and those around them. To not understand because of confusion, to change ever so slowly on a daily basis because the mind is confused. The onset of dementia creeps into an entire families world not only the victim of said illness. Dementia changes the mind as well as the way the person acts because the memory begins to fade. It is almost as if they do not even know if they spoke or not. The sadness that surfaces are coupled with anger because they do not know if they spoke out loud, inside their heads or did not speak at all. It must feel as if they are going insane to them.
“It all goes away. Eventually, everything goes away.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
Years can pass by and still there is something different, but no one can grasp the significance of dementia that is creeping into their lives. We as a society expect those we love, as they age to have loss of memory. However, loss of memory and dementia are different because of the confusion that sets in as well. It is not a matter of where I put the keys but more about what are the keys for with dementia.
All loss fills us with pain. All loss is sad. All loss at one time or another will touch all of our lives. The loss of our lives is part of the game of life. We simply need to become aware and prepare ourselves that loss is possible. The loss we get to experience is part of life!
Pray! Meditate! Juornal!
Here we go again…
“No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance.” – Confucius
Let us come together for a cup of warmth and sit in my library of books and teachings that I would like to share with you through this blog! I truly look forward to your comments and all the books that have helped you in life as well. I believe in all my lifetimes that the smell, feel and touch of paper and pen has empowered me!
At a very young age, I fell in love with the written word. Books fueled my mind. Writing in a diary as it was called in my youth nurtured my soul. My heart today is searching for something I cannot put my finger on. It’s a constant ache within that I need to gently listen to. I am amazed at…
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We all need to STOP and pay attention to our lives, the dreams we dream and the joy and happiness that we can manifest on a daily basis. It can be the ‘lil things’ that place a laugh in our throat, a smile on our lips or an opening of our hearts. The wonder of life surrounds us in the ‘lil things’ and our imagination can comfort us when our light seems to dim.
It may sound silly but my favorite car is the Volkswagen Beetle and when I see one on the road my face smiles and I giggle at how cute I believe it is. Just a ‘lil thing,’ that fills me with happiness.
IMAGES are comforting…
I love the look of this cup. I imagine sitting in the sunlight basking in the warmth of the sun and contemplating life. I have become intrigued with golden objects lately.
It is just a cup which I can drink water, coffee, or tea from. Yet it places a smile upon my lips as I dream of placing my hand on the heart-shaped handle and feeling its warmth. It is just a ‘lil thing’ that makes me happy. As I sip my desired drink of choice, the liquid warms my throat and slides down like honey, I imagine.
IMAGES allow us to dream…
Look at this little picture of the golden moon on the sea. Beautiful! This image fills me with the wonder of life and its vastness. How serene, calming and fiery all in one picture. I can dream that I am floating on the water in a small boat and looking up at the moon. I imagine the water is still and ever so calm as I simply float in its vastness. Can you imagine yourself floating on the water as well next to me?
It seems almost like a mirror, as the light of the moon reflects itself upon the water. Peaceful! I feel so small as I look upon the glow of this moon. Yet, I know that monthly I get to view a full moon in the sky … just a ‘lil thing’ but enormous when I bask in its light.
IMAGES create wonderment …
Here is an interesting door. Looks like a small double door that goes where I wonder? Its color and type are intriguing. Where does this door open up into? Can I dream that it is a splendid room filled with wonderful artist supplies? Maybe it is a hallway that leads me to a narrow walkway towards a pool? Can it be that both doors open onto a majestic bedroom which is filled with flowing white curtains and flickering white candles? Can it simply be a doorway into a magical land of surprises and books! My mind fills with wonder! It’s just a ‘lil thing’ that excites me.
IMAGES stir our imagination…
Blue Water – Blue Sky – White Light – Words – You Are Loved! – Love Is All There Is!
Simplify my life. Crisp and clean this image seems to me. This image speaks to me. Look towards the heavens! Look up! Look for the Light! You are not alone!
WOW… powerful and insightful! Is there a message for me in this image? Is Love all there is in life? Seems like such a ‘lil easy thing’ to ponder? I wonder if the words are true? I feel in my heart that they must be true! I pray that they are true!
IMAGES can transform us…
A Flower! A Butterfly!
I look at this image and feel transformation is key to my happiness. Such a ‘lil thing!’ The magnitude of a small butterfly can affect us all it seems because of the wonder of its life span. Can you smell the flower and feel the transformation that is possible in your life? Do the colors warm your soul and allow you to know Mother Nature is blissful? How do you feel looking at this image? Calm? Peaceful? Magical? Enchanted? Do you react in some way?
These are just a few of the images that cross the paths of our mind’s eye daily. There are actually hundreds, maybe thousands that we are not noticing. All of our lives are extremely busy with chores, work, babies, children, aging parents, and responsibilities. However, individually we need to nourish and nurture ourselves with any of the little things in life that tickle our soul and hearts.
- What are your thoughts on all these images?
- How do these images make you feel?
- Are there any images that you recall that have spoken to you lately?
- Are you dreaming, filling with wonder, imagination and transforming in the simplicity of life that surrounds you daily?
- Are you aware of all that is possible when you allow yourself to pay attention to your surroundings and the little things in your life?
- Are you capable of slowing down to take notice of the little things in your life?
- Can you bask in the glow of the moon with a beautiful cup of warmth, imagine the next door in your life that you need to walk through.
- Or maybe there is a door you need to close at this time?
- Can you discern the need to look above and beyond as you transform your life to be the one you desire to live?
Let us all begin to look around and pay attention to the images that stir our souls. We can choose to transform just like a butterfly and live our truth if we take the time to pay attention to our heart and the ‘lil things’ that stir us with joy daily!
- Is there a message to discern from them?
- Can the universe be speaking to us in some far out way through the ‘lil things?’
- Do you have any dreams you wish to manifest now in your life?
- Can you commit to one day a week to paying attention to the images in your life?
- Will you promise to look for the ‘lil things,’ starting today?
Pray! Meditate! Journal!
“I thank you for your part in my journey…”
As the only daughter of my dad, I cherished him. Today, I miss him and his wisdom. I imagine he did not have an easy childhood and one I cannot ever imagine. Born in 1927, he lived until 1998 when he died of lung cancer. He was 70 years old. His struggles were many.
Abandonment, alcoholism, and mental illness. Dad grew up during a time that I was unaware of but heard of; that his mom at 16 gave birth to him and then left him on a stoop at the age of four. That is where his issue with abandonment took off. His father’s sisters raised him. He grew up with hand me down clothes and toys from his cousins! He never felt loved. His dad who worked on the docks of New York City was never there for him.
He told me of working nights at American Beverage Soda Company and how they wanted to give him a 25 cents raise once, but he felt he was not smart enough to be a manager. For 25 cents though, dad could get a can of soda and a sandwich he said. He liked beer at an early age was drunk lots of times but happy at those times, it seemed to me. I had no clue these episodes were what today is called ‘dysfunctional.’
“I thank you for being the reason I smile …”
As a child, I only knew what went on in my house and had no idea of what a normal, happy home life I did not have. Fear was part of daily existence when he was drinking, but the memories I choose to cherish are when he was not drinking. There is ugliness in life, but we can eliminate that which does not serve us today. We can pick what we want to remember. I felt loved by him, and that is the greatest of my memories.
He sang drunk at weddings, and my mom would drag me into the ladies bathroom and hide because she was embarrassed. Alcoholism would be passed down to him from his family. And so the story moves forward. Married young to my mom, they would raise my brother and me to the best of their ability.
I was blessed to have missed the gene of addiction. I feel all through life our connection was about his wisdom and how I decided somehow at a young age to love my dad unconditionally. I felt he was the way he was because of his childhood. Today I know we all have our stories and in sharing them, we may help another. I trust that the Universe waits for our reaction to the experiences during life and how we decide to live our lives. Choosing love or fear is always our free will in all situations.
The mental illness did not arrive until he was forty years old when he heard voices to murder his family. Instead, he slashed his left wrist and neck. Years later, he told me he could not see himself harming me. He would laugh and say if he had murdered all of us, he would have served 25 years in prison and then would have been free. I guess he never felt free in life and that troubled him. He survived his attempt at suicide but was deformed and never worked again.
I was heartbroken to the depths of my soul, my mom was terrified, and my brother started his addiction process. The journey began with him going in and out of mental institutions like Creedmore State Psychiatric Hospital, and different psychiatric wards. I was there for him with my husband for thirty years after my mom finally divorced him. He nicknamed me ‘mom’ and ‘author,’ and we would laugh about this. He always adored me and wished his mom was more like me. The reason he called me ‘author,’ was because he wanted me to tell his story. He was very interested in human behavior and all the people who were ill that he met throughout his life. He believed that there was a reason for everything that happens.
The lung cancer that killed him had started 58 years before he died. Through it all he loved life. He worshiped Mother Nature and her beauty. He was addicted to her ocean, pools, and parks. He never drove a car and walked everywhere or took mass transit. He was wise, fun and wanted to be loved. It was my job to love him, and I did with my entire heart and soul. This Father’s Day he is gone nineteen years, and I think of him often. Individual songs that he sang when he was drinking pop on in the strangest of places at restaurants, and we say, ‘hi!’ I smile in acknowledgment of his presence.
“Dear Past, thank you for all the life lessons you have taught me …”
“Dear Future, I am ready now …”
His life may have been traumatic, but it never allowed him to feel sorry for himself. He loved music; all kinds, playing cards, whistling, worshiping the sun, walking outside and listening to the radio. Movies and Elvis Presley and other stars of his era were his favorites. These are my memories of a man who I had chosen to be my dad, and I would like to thank him for being the best dad ever.
His love of me allowed me to feel cherished and special even though he was scorned by many as a mentally ill person in our society. There is sadness in how his battle in life was to encourage me to be the woman I am today and what a sacrifice he chose for me. I am his proud daughter because of him. I am who I am today because of him.
As a society, we need to accept everyone’s story and embrace one another with kindness and love. It is not difficult to be there for another who you have manifested as a being in your life for a reason. We are born to learn from one another as well as teach one another during our life experiences. Was it easy at times, no! But! He was my dad!
“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is “Thank You,” it will be enough …”
Happy Father’s Day to the many fathers with their issues, addictions and unbalanced behaviors. Please know that, you are loved!
Pray! Meditate! Journal!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME …
Daily I awaken to the wonder that surrounds my existence. Feeling blessed for all the experiences I have journeyed through in life. I am aware that not everyone believes as I do. I wonder why? As I travel forward on a ride that has filled me to many levels of emotions, I smile at the memories. Like a cup, my cup has been filled and drained over and over again. Good times, sad times, turbulent times, but in the end an invisible force has lifted me beyond whatever I was struggling through magically.
“If you enjoy living, it is not difficult to keep the sense of wonder.” – Ray Bradbury
My grandson Hudson asked me, “What is magic?” Life is the magic of course, but six grand babies under the age of eight are clueless to life as I have seen it. To witness my childhood is impossible for them. Even when I tell them how I love my iPhone, iPad, and MacBook. They know of no other way. A year before my first grandson Hunter James was born the first iPhone was also born. It was a magical time for me taking pictures of him. Magic! Is this not all magic, I ask? When I open my car by touching the door handle, I smile, this is magic. Then I start my car without a key, but that which is a key sits in my pocketbook. Pure magic!
When my daughters and grandchildren FaceTime me, I laugh, this is magic. Recently, my daughter Jess was in Vietnam and texted me a message and posted photos on Facebook and Instagram. Hello, is this not magic! When I wake up in Florida and go to sleep in New York the same day, this is magic. When I watch my daughter or son hug their children, I experience the deepest magic of love swelling and opening my heart. As I become witness to life growing and moving us all forward to greatness. There are numerous magical happenings in life all around everyone. We choose to accept it all and not be amazed at the wonder of it all. Stop taking life for granted! Fill yourself with wonder and look for the magic in your daily life.
“He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.” – M. C. Escher
Aware of energy the way that I am, I marvel at the sadness and darkness that has befallen so many of us. Fear is evident in our world. We fear our country and our lives. We fear what tomorrow will bring. We fear what tomorrow will not bring. We fear what we will loose. We fear what we will gain. Please listen to me there is no magic in fear. Love carries the jewel of magic. Love feeds the soul magically. Love opens doors. Love lets in the light and eliminates the darkness. Love is the foundation of magic. Love is that part of us that trusts that there is a reason for everything. Love is the key to our raising our consciousness.
There is no reason for anyone of us to worry. Just choose to believe that which will set you free because you trust there is a Divine Intelligence. Whether you believe in God, a Creator, Angels, Saints or not there is an essence bigger than any of us. There is some Divine Intelligence that we are all connected to as one. This Divine Intelligence is a field that surrounds us daily even if we are unaware. Many of us are still asleep, and there is no wonder in our lives. We cling to the negative, the darkness that we adhere to is only to survive because we refuse to change our thoughts, words or actions.
“As long as I’m still moving in that direction – toward wonder – then I know I will always be fine in my soul, which is where it counts. And since creativity is still the most effective way for me to access wonder, I choose it.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
When we pay attention to our dreams and ask for a message at night magic becomes part of our existence. Many say, “I never dream!” Not true! You do dream you just do not remember it or choose not to remember it. Right before you close your eyes for sleep, go into your mind and revisit your day and be grateful for everyone you traveled with through this day. Then ask; “What do I need to know?” Now go to sleep! The message in a dream is the magic of your life.
At times I battle the human part, my ego self and I feel less attached to a magical life. Then my spiritual part awakens me to my God-self, and I smile once again at the wonder of magic in my life. I am blessed because I can now tell the difference between the fight or even why there is to be an inner battle. I know that the ego loves to roar and throw me off track. When my ego succeeds, I feel off. It almost seems as if I am tested to feed that human part of me. It is that part that I refuse to continue to nourish. That humanity part of me has guided me to where I am today because it awakened the soul part that rested silently waiting for the right time to emerge magically. My journey is soul-infused by choice. My choices attach me to a magical existence because I believe there is magic throughout my day.
“It is a happy talent to know how to play.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
When we meditate daily, we magically surrender to all life offers us. Magic is the wonder that escapes the negative. The negative person clings to their fear and doubt of self because they have been programmed to grow up, be an adult, to work, to strive for more. There is no magic in living a negative life because of fear and doubt. As children, we were all filled with wonder and play. What is the greatest memory of that moment where you played? That moment where you roared with laughter, joy and complete happiness. The very time that you forgot about fear.
My greatest moments growing up was being outside climbing a tree, swimming, reading a good book and writing in my journal. Reading a book was play for me. Books were wonder, excitement, laughter, joy and happiness. Finally, I have returned to hours of the magic of my childhood. I no longer climb a tree, but I do hug them. Even as I type at this very moment a smile escapes my lips and my eyes light up at the wonder of my MacBook Air as I move my fingers across the magical keyboard that places my words on a screen. Yes! I am having fun! Writing is – Pure magic!
MEDITATE! PRAY! JOURNAL!
“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live…” – Norman Cousins
I’m wondering if there are tools to help one process the death of a loved one. I believe it does not matter as much as who died, when or where but that they are no longer here. We cannot see them, talk to them or touch them. What do we grieve most then; the touch of them, not ever seeing them again, or the absence of their voice.
- What are we grieving?
- Why are we grieving?
- Who are we grieving?
My mom lived in Puerto Rico for the last 26 years while I lived in New York. She had dementia and did not know me or anyone else for the last few years. Then she was gone. I was motherless! I became fatherless in 1998! I cried for that which will never be and for that which had not been. Yes, I cried tears that filled up my heart to bursting. For me, because she was simply no longer here on the planet with me. Sharing the air, I breathe daily. Looking up at the moon and stars that I loved. All these years I just knew that she was here, only far away which comforted me in some way.
Then one day I was filled with a deep calmness when I realized she was finally at peace, resting and smiling down at me. It was her life, not mine that she lived. It was her life to live as she chose because God gives us all ‘free will. Slowly it dawned on me one day, how we accomplished a perfect teaching as mother and daughter together this lifetime.
Finally, I looked back at our relationship and all that I had learned from her. I felt blessed that she was an amazing teacher. I felt happy that I had chosen her to learn from all that I could. To be the wife and mother, I am today because of her. I remembered her and how she laughed, how I felt laughing with her. The little gifts she always needed to purchase for me when I was visiting her. She had a talent of nourishing me with food and love when it was just the two of us, many yesterdays ago.
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on…” -Robert Frost
I honored and respected her always even when I felt abandoned by her. Today, I understand it was her grief that she became stuck in when my brother died in a head-on collision by a drunk driver in 1988. It wasn’t me! It was her loss, fear, and sorrow. Fear was the foundation always of her existence, in that she chose dementia to escape into, to survive as long as she did. I recently went and bought her favorite perfume from when I was young, and every morning I spray my space with her and say, “Mom, let’s start the day together!” And off I go knowing she is by my side.
I imagine you are like me struggling with a loss of some kind. It doesn’t always have to be a death. It can be a divorce, a job, a friendship that ended or just that we cannot find where we belong in life. Maybe what we are grieving is not about another but our grief at this time. The simple end to something or someone!
Can it be that we are grieving our loss, our fears, and our sorrow? It has nothing to do with the deceased. Our heart aches and tears run down our face as we try to understand how we will exist without them. The deceased are at peace. But, I can’t imagine even if that is possible the way we carry on about them leaving us. They must feel guilty and sad!
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time …” – Mark Twain
Whenever I pass a funeral procession, I say a prayer for the living family and friends of the deceased. As well as, a prayer that the living let the dead rest in peace. I have read that everyone handles grief differently. Some have regrets. Others have a fear of death. Some of us get stuck deep in our minds and cannot comprehend the loss, as my mom did. We cannot handle our grief! Maybe it is time to look at the reasons why we struggle with grief in such a heartbreaking manner.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one. – Khalil Gibran
- What can we do, when our hearts break apart violently because of the death of a loved one?
- How can we survive the loss of friendship, job, or even a divorce?
- Are there any tools that we can grasp onto which will help us to heal?
Fear of our death is the first tool that needs to be accepted. Life will always end in death for every living person, animal, insect, plant and fish. Death is the only process there is to life. We have all chosen a life experience that must begin and end. We will never have the answers for why a baby dies, or why another life lives to old age crippled with disease.
What we all must comprehend is that we chose a plan and that there is a purpose to each life. The reality is that there is a reason for everything that happens in life. Especially, today when there are so many killings across our world by terrorists, suicides, and death to drug-related deaths. I have read that we choose our life experience to either heal our karma or heal another’s karma! We agree to die at a given moment to help heal ourselves or another member of our family group because life is eternal. There is no death. There is a transition period. We need to express love.
No regrets are the second tool that many will find hard to process. Usually what we regret is an action we did not accomplish. We didn’t visit our parents, offer support to our friend, we were always abusive, negative, confrontational or we just could not be bothered with their drama. Our actions will always speak louder than our words. We all deserve a second chance, a third chance, maybe even a fourth chance!
Even when a baby or child dies suddenly or due to an illness, there can be no regrets. We must remember there is a plan. All we can do is take their death and make something good out of it. Remember you chose this life and everyone in it that travels the path along your side.
There is no loss, brings us to our third tool. Our souls are eternal. Our bodies are our vehicle. How we take care of our vehicle is a clue to how long it will last. Everyone knows how to eat and what to eat to remain healthy – yet we choose consciously to eat what will harm us. Like putting soda instead of gas in a car. We are witness to many celebrities dying of drug overdoses or obesity in some cases. Why are we shocked suddenly, as we say; “What a sin, he/she died so young?” It is not a sin. They did not take care of themselves! Their vehicle was misused and mistreated.
“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive…” – John Green
We must believe that our loved ones visit us in dreams, with signs, symbols, music, smell and coins. Know that the best process to help a loved one who has transitioned is to pray for them. Thank them for the time you shared, the happy and joyful memories you now possess. To continue to send them love. To forgive them if they had any additive behavior. As well as forgiving yourself! Know it was all part of the plan.
I have read that when one door closes another door will open. Divorce, jobs, relationships run a course. One knows when the reason for divorce or leaving a job or relationship is necessary if there is any form of abuse. No one has permission to verbally, mentally or physically abuse us through their addictive behaviors. It is not allowed! Many of us survive abuse to be part of our existence because we feel we are worthy of said abuse. Or, maybe we do not know how to make a change to better ourselves. The addiction in life that dulls our souls is the drama we become addicted to daily.
“Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75 …” – Benjamin Franklin
When we cry, scream, ache deep within with pain it is not for them. It is for us! We hurt! The question is why? Look at it this way, you traveled a life journey with a loved one together laughing, dancing, raising children, maybe working together, or you were a child, friend, sibling, spouse or even a parent. The memories are bountiful. There are pictures, gifts received and given. Likes and dislikes shared. You cried together or wept over a sad movie or event. This life experience may have ended in a fight or not. Either one of you could have become too busy for the other. One of you may have been critical of the others choices. Life moved forward on its own, and you lost touch. It is all normal human behavior.
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself…” – George Bernard Shaw
When we forgive ourselves, we can then forgive others. There is a process to loving the self so that we can then love another. There is no reason to not pray for those we can no longer see, touch or hear. We can ask them to visit us in our dreams. To send us a sign; whether a symbol, coin, smell or memory. Trust me they are still by your side. Believe it, and they will be there for you. Fill the ache within your heart with love for them.
Our journey here is to grow our soul for our soul is the part of us that is eternal. Love, kindness, acceptance, and forgiveness are essential to offer every single one of us a chance to live a life of our dreams.
- What do you dream for you?
- How can you manifest this dream!
- What do you need to change in your life to live your dream?
PRAY! MEDITATE! JOURNAL!
Making Believers: Connect to the Light within… https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005F9GV3Q/ref=cm_sw_r_oth_api_r32SybH2F5SCM
I am flying high on the spirit of the season. My mind travels to the days of my childhood and the excitement and wonder of this time of year. I love the simplicity that allows me to give gifts as a way of expressing my appreciation to those in my life. To me, the energy of money is to share it, if you can! The abundance in my life allows me to be thankful and filled with gratitude daily.
“Had I known that I planned my challenges, I would have seen them rich with purpose …” – Robert Schwartz from Your Soul’s Plan
Unfortunately, many fill with despair and grief because of the sad and sorrowful circumstances that they have travelled during their life journey. It is the season to take the time to love all that any of us has experienced, including ourselves. After all, we are surrounded by lights, music and colorful decorations everywhere we go. An added bonus is a snowfall! What delight as a child to know with glee the anticipation of opening gifts. Maybe we need as adults to return to that childhood wonder during this season.
“On Earth and throughout the Universe, Divine Order is created and Divine Will expressed through Service…” – Robert Schwartz from Your Soul’s Gift
We celebrate as Christians that this is the time of Christ’s birth. What did Christ teach but to love one another, to be kind, and to give of ourselves! Yet, many of us stumble and fall this time of year to a past grief, anger, fear, depression, or hatred even. I always wondered about the need to simply be mean to anyone you claim to love. Grief is a belief that we have lost someone who we loved and that we can no longer see or touch them. We remain stuck in the memory of the end of their life here and forget the joyful loving memories of yesterday. We are a society that stay with a loved one who has transitioned on at the moment we buried them. Why do we forget their life? How they loved? When they cared and supported us? Why do we not tell their stories and share how they reached us while they lived with laughter, joy, happiness even at times sadness?
” Every death is brought about by the culmination of the vibration of the Being. There is not an exception to that. No one, beast or human, makes their transition into the Non-Physical without it being the vibrational consensus that is within them-so every death is a suicide because every death is self-imposed…” – Ask and It is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks
However, I believe there is no death but more a transition, there is no end and there is no need to cling to this grief. As eternal spiritual beings our loved ones are right next to us on the other side of the veil. We can dream of them, we can talk to them but most of all we can remember the lives they lived, the joy and laughter they shared with us. They are at peace and they try to reach us by many different means; coins, electricity, lights, music, even license plates. Just believe they are with you and you will feel them yourself. Let them rest in peace and pray for them.
“To find the source of any darkness you may be fighting, and then release it, is one of the most powerful things you can do to move into greater light and joy…” – Deborah King from Entangled in Darkness
Depression knocks us off our feet into the depths of our mind and we cannot function. Yet, we all have a choice every day how we want to feel and how we want to live our lives. Not easy, but we do have the choice to make a decision ourselves and what emotion we want to experience. A good test upon awakening or throughout the day is to ask yourself, “How do I feel right now?” “Why do I feel this way?” “How would I like to feel?” Three very simple sentences will bring you to an awareness of yourself and your feelings.
There are many different circumstances for anger, fear and hatred but there is a key to release these emotions that no longer serves us. The key is to forgive ourselves and then to forgive those who have harmed us in some way and filled us with hatred towards them. We can do this by writing down our feelings and then releasing them by burning the paper. Forgiveness will heal you and allow you personally to benefit on your life experience, as well as, them.
Years ago, I read that we pick our parents to learn lessons from them or maybe to help them learn a lesson. Recently, I read that we pick everyone that walks our journey with us. In doing so, we make a plan on what we need to learn and what we need to experience this lifetime. Can you imagine how wonderful it is to know that nothing is as it seems. That you actually planned the life you are living.
I have been down the road of depression, grief, anger, and hatred, as well as, suicide. In 1994, I learned that I personally cannot control who lives and who dies. The depths of sorrow at the end of a physical life whether adult, child or even a pet is a wave that sits openly in the depths of our hearts forever. We ache for them! We cry, become depressed and grief takes us over until we cannot breathe or function in life! The pain is unbearable because death is the unknown and the greatest of fears in our society.
“All of the survival patterns arise out of feeling unsafe and all are attempts to create some sense of safety for ourselves. …” – Steven Kessler from The 5 Personality Patterns
I imagine at times that the childhood many of us have lived and experienced has created within us a means of protecting ourselves. As adults today we get triggered to react by simply filling with fear or anxiety, becoming passive, have feelings of being defeated, developing tension or we simply refuse to express our feelings, because of a situation that brings us back to the original moment in time of thinking we were not safe.
“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year…” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
These survival/defense patterns we created under the age of seven fill us with a belief; that we need to escape mentally, to remember our abandonment issues, because we had been betrayed, or maybe at one time we had no control and were betrayed by someone we loved. Because of these beliefs today as an adult we do not live our truth. We escape at the blink of an eye into a survival/defense pattern. Maybe we just need to finally strengthen our boundaries, own our needs and stand on our own two feet, begin to trust, be assertive or just connect to our heart. Now is the time to finally begin to shift out of these survival/defense patterns and live our truth by becoming aware of our triggers and how we react in all our relationships with others.
Here’s a gift from me to you: The following books are insightful, and filled with information that will make you think about your own life experience and those you share it with.
- Your Soul’s Plan: Discovering the Real Meaning of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born by Robert Schwartz
- Your Soul’s Gift: The Healing Power of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born by Robert Schwartz
- Entangled in Darkness: Seeking the Light by Deborah King
- The 5 Personality Patterns: Your Guide to Understanding Yourself and Others and Developing Emotional Maturity by Steven Kessler
- Ask and It is Given by Esther and Jerry Kicks (The Teachings of Abraham)
“Violence of the tongues very real-sharper than any knife…” – Mother Teresa
When reading books, blogs or written material of any kind please use your discernment. My above suggestions are just a few of the books that have enlightened me on my path. We are all on this beautiful journey to awaken to the divine love within. To grow our Souls! When we awaken we become seekers to heal by incorporating meditation, prayer and journaling into our daily lives. Now is the most magical time of year, and I hope this blog in some way triggered you to take a peak into my world.
Earlier this week we had a snowfall which magical turned our world white and glistening. I filled with the hope of peace and love for this world and all who I share my life with. The wonder of my childhood surfaced with joy and happiness as I listened to holiday music. My prayer for all is that we learn to open our hearts and fill with love for each other as the spiritual beings we are!
PRAY! MEDITATE! JOURNAL!
As we travel close to the holiday season I have been reflecting on the changes in my personal life this past year. In the past I tended to fear change but today I welcome it as part of my growth process. Fear is the main function of belief that is claimed by most of us daily. We fear lots of things that either were handed down to us from our parents or society, as well as, many adults in our lives.
When I take time to journal, meditate and pray daily I am blessed with a tender connection to spirit. Intuition flows and insight is received. Sometimes with clarity, guidance and support. These actions of mine taken daily free me from my past. Yet, life seems so fearful for many because they do not take the time to search within themself for answers. That we all have a shadow side means we either nourish the dark side through fear or hold on tight to the light side of our essence by embracing ourselves with love. The greatest nourishment to our shadow side is of course fear!
“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt…” – William Shakespeare
What do we fear most … death, drugs, divorce, abuse, abandonment, lack, feeling unworthy, low self-esteem but mostly that we are not lovable and therefore do not deserve to be loved. My belief about life has changed drastically these past years especially when it comes to what we believe about death. The wonder of life is that no one truly knows what happens once we are pronounced dead. My thought is that we are eternal beings and our body is just a vehicle for our soul that crosses over the veil from this life. We cannot see, touch or be with a loved one that transitions over but we can hold them tightly within our hearts and still communicate with them.
Can it be that drugs, divorce, abuse, abandonment, lack, feeling unworthy, low self-esteem and that we are not lovable are the lessons we chose to experience this lifetime. We are beings of light and love so we come to planet earth to grow our souls and balance our karma from past lives. There is nothing to fear when you believe that there is a reason for everything. How many can say that they believe and know that there are no accidents. Of course, it is so hard to grasp that we chose our parents, our life experience and everyone we know to learn who we are.
What is our truth? How can we balance our karma? Forgiveness is the key to balance. Acceptance is the door that opens when we no longer are judgmental or critical of another. Maybe it is time now to ‘flip’ our own thought process when it comes to how we believe, speak and act. I imagine the ability to ‘flip’ comes from the depths of compassion we show another because we see their fear so clearly. Can we not as a society make the decision to offer love in place of fear to one who is full of fear? The terrors of life are what separates each us from our unity as spiritual beings having a human experience.
“Be grateful for yourself… be thankful…” – William Saroyan
For those who feel they were abandoned by a parent, spouse, child or friend and have low self-esteem, feel unworthy and unlovable what are the opposites of these but to love who we are as we are, to know we are worthy, lovable and that we asked to experience abandonment to grow, balance and live our truth. Let it all go. Leave it up to God. Release what no longer serves you. Think out of the box. Find that which creates freedom of thought today! Ask yourself why do you take everything so personal? There is a human need to punish each other only because the punisher feels that something is being done to him or her because of fear.
In reflection of my own life I was raised by two extremely different parents: a fearful judgmental mom and an alcoholic, manic-depressant dad! To me I thought my dad was the wisest man I ever met and I was capable of loving him unconditionally for 30 years while he lived in and out of mental institutions. Still, I saw no fault in him. I imagine today that was because he was the greatest teacher for this life-experience and I chose him. That my dad sacrificed his life as an alcoholic and manic-depressant for me fills me with a deep understanding of the plans we choose in life to know who we are.
There was a time I felt abandoned by my mom over and over again but today I know I was able to grow to the person I am today because of her. My heart and soul thanks her daily for all that I have learned because I chose her as my mom. My mom is 85 years old and in the full stages of dementia for years now. She does not know me or any of her family members. I thank her for commitment to herself and to what she needed to do for me so that I was able to grow to the woman I am today! I imagine how easy life could be for many if they opened their hearts to those they love daily and embrace them unconditionally with gratitude for triggering them, and being the best teacher for them. I find it eye-opening that life is definitely not like we have all been taught or led to believe.
“When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive…” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Lets imagine that the shadows, darkness, fears and anger are what we chose to learn from. Instead of trying to figure out what is wrong with us, let’s be grateful for the roles we have played in our movie of life as well as those we chose to support us in our movie.
PRAY. MEDITATE. JOURNAL.
“In youth we learn; in age we understand.” – Marie Ebner-Eschenbach
This morning I opened my eyes and thought of the amazing ride I have been on. I sat up in bed and fell into my morning ritual; I meditated, prayed and contemplated on being sixty-five years old. I’m amazed by this lifetime I have journeyed. My personal ride began with what I labeled as a child of this inner feeling I called, “the blues!” Today I imagine it was just fear as a child that confused me. Being scared, afraid or terrified at a young age was the norm such a long time ago. Still the feelings sit deep within my heart even today. Tears can overflow at the inner conflict for my inner child of yesterday. There was a time I buried her deeply only to discover I could not breathe without her. I realize today that fifteen years ago I embraced her holding on to my eyelids and offered her love. It was time for her to resurface and know her truth. We began a new ride. The memories of my youth are filled with drinking fighting and abusive behavior between my dad and mom. Fear filled our home only because Friday nights dad came home drunk. Mom became embarrassed and totally afraid of him!
I know that I am not the only woman to have grown up in a house with an alcoholic/manic-depressant or fearful/critical parent. In fact, I realize as a child I had no understanding of these types of labels. I did not know the ride would take me through abandonment, abuse, fear, pain, tears, death and lies over and over again. Death is a part of life but sudden unexpected deaths are terrifying at any age. My only brother to die by a drunk driver, my oldest nephew to be murdered then my beloved dad to die of lung cancer. I know that at times there was great laughter and love going up but coming down that roller coaster could almost make me topple over and crash when the fears arose.
“Why be anything other than good? Why do anything other than love!” –Johnathan Dahl
However, here I sit as a whole woman, loved, fulfilled, happy and amazed with gratitude for the experiences of my lifetime. I live a good life! I admit I struggle still today when those I love are unkind, critical or judgmental of one another. It is those times that my inner child comforts me with a memory of me climbing a tree at McCarren Park, swimming at Coney Island or just drinking Mountain Dew and eating pretzels on the stoop. It was the simplicity of yesterday that encourages me to love unconditional. I’m thrilled with the joyous memories of my childhood today because those were the moments that pushed me forward. The fearful dark memories are drifting further and further away from my inner sight.
“If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree.” – Jim Rohn
I blame no one for the ride I chose to take because at this time in my life I believe I am an amazing wife, mother and grandmother. How did I get to this time in my life believing that my life is wonderful? It always comes back to the simple parts of the ride I believe. When my dad was dying he looked at me and said, “I had a wonderful life so don’t cry for me because you are gong to die one day too!” That was in 1998 and finally I get it!
At forty years old he attempted suicide and lived the next thirty years in and out of mental institutions supported and loved by me and my husband for anything he needed. Weekly visits were the norm when he was not hospitalized but living in an adult home facility and happy no matter what. A true loved of Mother Nature he taught me to respect her as well. With forgiveness, acceptance, kindness, unconditional love, and not taking anything personal I made these beliefs my tools. Meditation, prayer and writing in my journal are my supplements to the ride. Knowing I am connected and blessed are my gifts today.
There will always be ups and downs because there is so much to learn in the greatest of classes in life called relationships. To love, hate, fear, and anger are the cornerstones of all relationships until we end any form of confrontation, control, and criticism. There came a time on my journey when the abandonment issues of my mom settled deep within to thug at my heart. After repeated abandonment episodes like her moving to Puerto Rico because her son had died and there was no reason for her to stay in New York I would cringe at her words for a very long time. It was my dad who told me she was not a smart woman and to forgive her. Today I know I am the person I am because of her and that I would not have been able to know my gifts and talents if she remained by my side. Could this have been a contract we agreed on prior to birth?
When I discovered what an amazing ride I have experienced because of the choices and changes I made, I filled with a deep sense of gratitude. At this age I know when I sit and color with gel pens for an hour or so my inner child is happy. If I choose to take a walk, read a good book or practice some yoga poses I have reconnected with the simplicity of life that fills me with joy. When I share my wisdom with others through counseling, workshops, blogging and talking I am being of service. The wisdom we all possess rests deep within and needs to be connected to so that peace can be part of the ride. The time will come when everyone gets the chance to get off their amazing roller coaster ride and live a loving, peaceful existence. Know it is possible as I do! When you exit you will breathe a feeling of contentment and smile as you remark, “what a great ride it has been!”
Meditate! Pray! Journal!
“Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.”-Leo Tolstoy
As we approach the yearly day set aside to celebrate all the moms in the world, let’s extend love to all the women of the world! As we are born from our mom it is that aspect that we honor. We as women are sacred because we give life, we nurture and nourish. Our bodies are the temple to the children who choose us. How have we forgotten our greatness? How have we forgotten our truth? How did we become victims of a society that we as the temples of life gave birth to?
“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” – Nora Ephron
Being an avid reader and student of life I find it extremely upsetting to be reading the stories of abuse, fear, guilt, shame and women that feel they are victims today because of their relationship with their mother. We are more than that when we accept our truth, live our truth and gather together as community. When we share our stories, we heal. When we forgive ourselves, we heal. When we choose to forgive our moms, we heal. When we honor our moms because within we know they did the best they could, we heal. As a society of healed women our daughters will become the goddesses they are born to be.
“Go ahead unleash your INNER GODDESS today. Embrace all that FABULOSITY that is amazing you…”
Recently, I attended a gathering of women with my youngest daughter that allowed me to heal from that which no longer served me. The simple pain of a mom who did the best she could because of her own mothers fears, allowed me to do even better. I chose to be a conscious mother raising my children. There was an intuitive guidance that I received! A knowing to love unconditionally because I was setting an example. I knew I was being watched. There was this inner belief of mine that I did not own my children and all that was required of me was to listen, support, guide, be present and there for whatever needs were required of me. Even today I have learned that they still need me to be there for them, to simply listen when they need to vent. Being blessed to also be a stay at home mom I loved every aspect of being a mom.
I have been given the greatest of gifts by my children to know I did them well. I gave to them something that I did not receive from my mom but which I am aware today she never received from her mom! I forgive myself for at one time judging her. Today, I forgive her for not being able to do as I needed her to do. I thank her for teaching me to be the mom I am today.
“A Goddess is a Woman Who Breaks The Mold. She’s Who She Wants To Be … And She Offers No Apologies.” -Lisa Marie Rosati
Life seems to be like a Ferris wheel that we all get on as women because of how we were raised. We need to know we can get off the Ferris wheel and remember who we are, not who we have been told to be. As a society we need to love our children especially our daughters unconditionally because they are also the mothers of our grandchildren! As a mother of two sons as well, I am aware of their love for me, and the tenderness and love they possess for the women in their lives. They will be fathers of my granddaughters that will be a goddess of tomorrow! I am witness to the fact that I have done well by them.
“It takes someone really brave to be a mother, Someone strong to raise a child, And someone special to Love someone more than herself. -Lilly
Ask yourself what example of love have you provided to your daughters? Has it been a conditional love of punishment and abuse or an unconditional love of joy, acceptance, support and encouragement! Release that which no longer serves you because it is not your truth. Share your inner being of love with your daughter no matter what it takes from you to release your fears. Be honest when you reflect on what type of mom you are when it comes to your daughter. Maybe it is time to forgive yourself for the choices you made in the past to connect with your daughter again.
“Our daughters are the most precious of our treasures, the dearest possessions of our homes, and the objects of our most watchful love. -Margaret E. Sangster
Born in 1951 I am of the first generation that was not breast-fed due to the invention of formula. Could that have been the beginning of daughters separating from their moms. The relinquishing of truly being nourished at the breast of our mothers because society deemed it healthier to buy formula! I chose to breast feed my children and I am happy to see the young women of today returning to this simple true connection to their babies.
I believe we as women need to return to the belief that we are goddesses. We are perfect in the bodies we have. We truly possess a beauty because we are the temples for life. We must love our temples for we are setting an example for our daughters. There is no women’s body that is too skinny or too fat. Our bodies are beautiful no matter what shape they are in. My motto is to find that which creates freedom of thought.
“Calm and still is the water, no birds are in the air, the sun rises slowly to its peak. Trees stand tall, ever so strong, love is never wrong.” -Linda Amato (1994)
I wish all the women of the world a very happy and loving Goddess Day!
Meditate! Pray! Journal!
My days are filled with a thought that there is a reason for everything. Growing up as a child of an alcoholic father and a detached fearful mother, I have simply did as I have been told for most of my life. Silence was a means of my survival. Today I have discovered a connection to the Spirit world that embraces my silence as a grown woman. I do wonder how I survived in a world that filled me with delight at a young age, as well as, fear.
Why else would I escape into the books of my youth but to dream. How did I never quarrel with my parents or brother, only because I knew there was no need to. There seems to be so much chaos in life today that I am happy I grew up when I did. Alcohol and Fear made me who I am today. I embrace my life that I have lived with lessons learned and peace in my heart. My path has taken me on one amazing journey that I could never have imagined myself. But here I am living a life that is filled with believable alternatives that come from the universe and fills me with belief in a world that I know is truly great. I am safe and all is well.
I have learned of perception recently and how others perceive even me. I find it intriguing and interesting. There are so many emotions I can claim as my own from anger to disgust but why would I today. I have a question that I pull up from the depths of my soul in situations. Simply, “what would God do?” A small but powerful question that places me in the right frame of mind. God would do nothing but love is the answer. I pray to Him to help me to love as He does. To guide me on this journey that is left, free of the ego/personality that no longer serves me.
I would like to add that my love of the written word led me to be an avid reader but the most benefit I ever received was in writing the written word through the act of taking pen to paper for my entire life. Whether it was a journal, story or poetry I wrote. Even this blog releases the doubts in my mind that struggle to fill me with fear or worry but which I have no use for in my world today. I came across some poetry from my past and would like to share the following poem that I wrote in the year 1993. I believe it is appropriate at this time in my life once again.
The pattern of life has been set before our time was ever a question
Can we somehow believe to make a difference with a suggestion
Adults we become, the change we will make.
In the end, all we will feel, is the pain of heartache.
Around and around, year after year, we create an existence.
Only to always believe the world as we know it, needs some assistance.
Kindness and love, can be a special part of this family.
Unfortunately, there is no time to listen to the cries we hear steadily.
There is always tomorrow, but it simply will leave.
Then its too late, the change has not come, so we begin to grieve…
Meditate. Pray. Journal.
Why do we not choose to love in all situations?
As a woman, wife, mother and grandmother I find myself dealing with many different types of personalities that are generated by fear. I believe that we come into this world as loving beings of spirit and our purpose here is to love unconditionally. However, many believe in conditional love which is painful to behold as a child growing up. The essence of conditional love is, “if you do not do what I say, you will be punished.” Growing up in a home of fear myself because of a parent with the addiction of alcoholism I learned to be afraid. I learned to not know who I was or how to act or speak. It was this belief that allowed anger to settle into the core of my being. All I wanted to be was a child but responsibilities were forced on me at a very young age that I did not understand how to react to. A memory at 5 years of age haunts me to the point that at that moment there was no one to protect me but myself. I cringe that at such a young age I chose such a drastic defense pattern.
How does one manage to protect themself in fearful situations?
There are characterologies or what I have learned to also be called defense patterns that we develop at a young age which are not our truth but which we pick to protect ourselves. There are only five defense patterns that we choose at one time or another because of the fears of our childhood.
Schizoid is the first defense pattern which developes before or after birth because of the trauma of a hostile mother. This person evokes intellectualization. The eyes are vacant fixed and scared. The person is hyperactive and ungrounded. The defense action is to leave the body out of the top of their head when triggered as an adult today. The physical build is elongation with right/left imbalances because they are always twisted out of their body. The style of communication is in absolutes. There is a double bind for they believe, “To exist means to die.” This defense pattern demands the right to be and to exist. A schizoid’s mask statement is, “I’ll reject you before you reject me!”To set boundaries are required of this person today.
Oral … developes during babyhood feeding because of the trauma of abandonment. This person evokes mothering. The eyes are pleading like a puppy dog. This person is hypoactive with low energy. The physical build is thin with a collapsed chest. The style of communication is to ask questions. The double bind for this type of person is, “If I ask, it’s not love; if I don’t ask, I won’t get it.” This defense pattern demands the right to be nurtured and fulfilled. An Oral’s mask statement is, “I don’t need you!” This type of person needs to own their needs and stand on their own two feet.
Psychopath .. developes in early childhood because of the trauma of seduction and betrayal by a parent’s untruthfulness. This person evokes submission. Their eyes are compelling. Hyperactivity followed by collapse is the energy of this defense pattern.An inflated chest which makes this person top heavy is a sign of the psychopath. Their choice in communication is to dictate to others. Their double bind is, “Kill or be killed.” This defense pattern demands to be supported and encouraged. The psychopath’s mask statement is, “I’m right; you’re wrong!” This type of person needs to trust.
Masochist … Autonomy stage of growth is when this defense pattern developes because the child is controlled, with forced feeding and evacuation. This person evokes teasing. The eyes are suffering/confused. The physical build is that the head is forward and heavy. The energy level is hypoactive (internalized energy). Whining disgust is how they communicate. The double bind is, “If I get angry, I’ll be humiliated; if I don’t, I’ll be humiliated.” This defense pattern demands to be independent. The masochist’s mask statement is, “I’ll kill (hurt) myself before you do!”It is their need to be assertive, free, and open to spiritual connections.
Rigid … This defense begins in puberty because of sexual denial and betrayal of the heart. This person evokes competition. Sparkling, bright and present are their eyes.Their energy is high and hyperactive. The physical build is a rigid back and their pelvis is tipped back. The choice of communication is as a qualifier. “Either choice is wrong,” is their double bind. This defense pattern demands the right to have feelings (love/sex). The Rigid’s mask statement is, “Yes, but…” Interestingly it is their need to connect the heart to the genitals.
Sexuality… Schizoid/Sex to feel life force, fantasy. Oral/Sex for closeness and contact. Psychopath/Hostile,fragile,homosexual, fantasy. Masochicst/Impotence, strong interest in Pornography. Rigid/Sex with contempt.
The defensive action of these defense patterns are: Schizoid/leaves the body. Oral/life sucks. Psychopath/controls others. Masochist/demands and resists at same time. Rigid/acts appropriately, rather than authentically.
The results of their defensive action are: Schizoid/weaker body. Oral/inability to metabolize own energy. Psychopath/aggression and betrayal/drawn to self. Masochist/dependence; inability to differentiate between self and others. Rigid/inability to experience self; world is false.
The main issue of these defense patterns are: Schizoid/existential terror. Oral/Nurturance. Psychopath/betrayal. Masochist/invasion and theft. Rigid/authenticity, denial of real self.
The fears are: Schizoid/living in human body as an individual. Oral/not enough of anything. Psychopath/letting go and trusting. Masochist/being controlled; loss of self. Rigid/imperfection.
What they have experienced: Schizoid/direct aggression. Oral/lack of nurturance; abandonment. Pschopath/was used and betrayed. Masochist/invaded;humiliated. Rigid/denial of psychological and spiritual reality.
All of these defense patterns are not their truth. This was a means of protecting themself from an adult when young. Today these patterns rise as a means of defense when they are triggered by anothers words or actions. It is a cellular memory that triggers them into their defense. At some point, the child experienced trauma severe enough to begin needing to block their emotions and instead use a defense pattern for dealing with the world.
Personally, I am aware in refletion that I was a psychopathic mother and I would like to apologize to my children because I had to have scared them at times. Please forgive me because I was most likely more afraid than you.
My teacher Deborah King has opened my mind and heart to be accepting of others and to know that how they think, speak and act is a defense when triggered. To not criticize or judge someone but to look for the light within which is their truth. In learning to love oneself opens the door to love others as they are. No one knows how anyone was raised and the pain or fear they experienced. Born as spiritual beings of love and light we must learn from these lessons we chose to experience and educate ourselves on a spiritual path of healing.
Today I feel blessed to be on this amazing journey we call life. I know that there is a reason for everything and that anything is possible. I am in the process of peeling away the onion of my life, layer by layer and releasing the repressed fear, greed, lies, hatred, pride and anger that no longer serves me. All that a child at any age really needs is to know they are loved and protected by their parent. Being a parent is a powerful responsibility!
I would like to forgive my mom for I am positive today that she did the best she could because of the childhood she experienced. She was an extremely fearful woman. I am clueless to how she was raised but she has been one of my greatest teachers and for that I am grateful.
Who do you think you are?
The source of the above information is from my studies with Deborah King and she credits this information from Light Emerging by Barbara Ann Brennan.
MEDITATE. PRAY. JOURNAL
A Spiritual Path into the Journey of Prayer
The definition of the word ‘prayer’ in the Random House College Dictionary states.
Prayer, a devout petition to, or any form of spiritual communion with, God or an object of worship. The act or practice of praying. A formula or sequence of words used in or appointed for praying: the Lord’s Prayer.
I believe our thoughts and words are a form of prayer. We are filled with thoughts that are negative or unhealthy in our mind every day through many different avenues. To become conscious of these thoughts and change them is a form of prayer. Everyone has known some form of prayers from their childhood but may not continue to pray them. Raised as a Catholic, I still pray the Lord’s Prayer, Hail Mary and Glory Be to the Father. However, over the years I have incorporated new prayers that I have picked up on my spiritual journey. I would like to share them with you as well as affirmations that I consider as a form of prayer. When we open our mind, heart and soul to the journey of prayer all our words count. When we pray for guidance we know we are never alone and when we ask for help we receive help. A daily spiritual path into the journey of prayer daily will change your life!
-A Course in Miracles … Father, I come to you today to seek the peace that you alone can give. I come in silence in the quiet of my heart, the deep recesses of my mind, I wait and listen for your voice, my father, speak to me today. I come to hear your voice in silence and in certainty and love sure you will hear my call and answer me.
-Science of Mind … I was told to live by some inner mystic presence. I was told to live and to love, to laugh and to be glad. I was told to be still and know of the one almighty power, in and through all. I was told to let that power work through and in me. I believed that voice and I received my good.
-Daily a.m. practice (Caroline Myss) … I am committed to feeling a bond with each person I meet, to respecting my own integrity and honor, to living within the energy of love and compassion and returning to that energy when I don’t feel it, to making wise and blessed choices with my will, to maintaining perceptions of wisdom and non-judgment, to release the need to know why things happen as they do, and not to project expectations over how I want this day to be and how I want others to be. Finally, my last prayer, to trust the divine. And with that I bless my day with gratitude.
-Entering the Castle (Caroline Myss) … I open myself to divine guidance I surrender myself to become as a channel for grace, healing and service as God directs my life.
-Paramahansa Yogananda … Dear Father, whatever conditions confront me, I know that they represent the next step in my unfoldment. I will welcome all tests because I know that within me is the intelligence to understand and the power to overcome.
-Marianne Williamson … Please Bless my Parents, God. Thank you, thank them for the life they gave to me. For the ways they stumbled and held me back, please help me to forgive them and receive your compensation. May their spirits be blessed, their roads forward made easy. Please release them and release me from my childhood now gone by. Release us also from any bitterness I may still hold. They paved the way, in all that they did, for where I have been has led me here. I surrender my parents to the arms of God. Thank you, dear ones, for your service to me bless your souls. May your spirits fly free. May we enter into the relationship God wills for us. Thank you, Lord, for I am now free. Amen!
-A Comforting Prayer (Sylvia Browne)… May God, our Mother and Father, and the Christ-consciousness always be with us. On this journey, let us keep the White Light of the Holy Spirit around us aways, and even though we have written our chart, may we know that there are miracles. Amen.
-Archangels (Doreen Virtue)… Dear Archangel Michael, thank you for watching over us, our home and our vehicles. Thank you for giving me the courage and confidence to move forward with my divine life purpose. Archangel Michael, what changes would you like to see me make in my life right now? Please clearly guide me upon the path of my life purpose. Dear Archangel Michael, please send me a clear sign that I will easily notice and understand, letting me know you are here and helping me gain guidance and peace.
-Prayer for Peace (St. Francis of Assisi)… Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope. Where there is darkness, light. Where there is sadness, joy. Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console. To be understood, as to understand. To be loved, as to love. For it is in giving that we receive. It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
-My collection of affirmations ..
- Daily I will seek happiness more and more within my mind and less and less through material pleasure.
- I demand my divine birthright intuitively realizing that all wisdom and power already exists in my soul.
- God is just behind my reason, today and everyday and is guiding me to do the right thing always.
- Perfect peace and poise are mine today, as I concentrate all my power and ability upon expressing the divine will.
- I know that God’s power is limitless; and as I am made in His image, I, too, have the strength to overcome all obstacles.
- I possess the creative power of Spirit.
- The Infinite Intelligence will guide and solve every problem.
- God is my own inexhaustible Divine Bank.
- I am always rich, for I have access to the Cosmic Storehouse.
- I will go forth in perfect faith, in the power of omnipresent good to bring me what I need at the time I need it.
- The sunshine of Divine prosperity has just burst through the dark sky of my limitations.
- I AM God’s child.
- I relax and cast aside all mental burdens allowing God to express through me His perfect love, peace and wisdom.
- I only create peaceful experiences because I love myself.
- All is well.
- I am safe.
- The God-part of my mind gives me a psychic sense of direction each and every day.
- The mystical power of God rules my goals and their realization.
- Harmony surrounds me.
- I AM a center for love.
- I hear love
- I love my life and everyone I share it with daily.
- I AM as God created me.
- I AM love and light.
- I trust the process of life to bring only good to me.
- I AM healthy and whole, body, mind and soul.
- God is Love.
- Love is God.
Pray. Meditate. Journal.
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