Who am I today? How did I get to where IAM today?
These are the questions that have popped into my mind over and over. I have struggled for years with not knowing the direction of my life. Married at twenty, raising four children and now I am a grandmother to four grand babies and still I do not know who I am. How can that be?
I have been searching it seems for my entire life for this answer. I have meditated and prayed for this answer, as well. I have filled many a journal over the years inquiring about an answer. I have read literally thousands of books, gone to many workshops and studied under many teachers searching for this answer. I have become a Reiki Master, a Certified Holistic Health Counselor, Metaphysical Practitioner and Author, imagining I would find this answer. I studied Science of Mind, ACIM, Kabbalah and the Teachings of Abraham by searching on a yearly basis for an answer. This past year I signed up to study with Deborah King once again seeking to know of an answer.
I have walked the streets of my neighborhood, the mall, skipped at the beach with tears of joy waiting for this answer.
I have been called a student of life, a healer, a counselor, a comfort to many and very spiritual and intuitive from women and men. I wondered and was amazed at how others saw me, just maybe one of those labels is the answer?
At night when I lay down my head on my pillow, I close my eyes and have recited for the many years the following:
“Thank you dear God, Blessed Mother, Archangels, Angels, Spirit Guides, Totem animals and my Lord and my Lady Yesuah Messiah and St Mary Magdalene for this day. The moon, the sun, the stars in the sky and the earth that grounds me.. Thank you for the foods that I have eaten. I thank my Ancestors! I pray the Glory Be, a Hail Mary and a Our Father. I wait a second and pray God is Love, Love is God, God is all there is. I look within and smile to myself if I have spoken to all four of my children, especially on the rare occasion when I see all four! I thank God for another day with my husband. I say and imagine in my mind’s eye, IAM as God created me, a Spiritual Being of Light And Love. I create joyful experiences in my life, I trust the process of Life. IAM a Spiritual Healer, IAM a Spiritual Teacher, IAM a successful Author. IAM healthy, happy and whole body, mind and soul. IAM safe, IAM fearless, IAM abundant…”
It seems to me that I have struggled with God’s plan, His belief in me because of my own doubt and disbelief in myself that I now release these questions for they no longer serve me. I believe finally I have received the answers to my questions and I can let go and let God lead me on this journey, as He has been obviously doing.
It feels great to know that IAM not in control and that there is a Divine Intelligence that is leading me to be “Me!” I have been truly led all of these years and I believe the questions stem from my ego-self but finally my God-self simply whispered a little louder. All I need to accept is that All is Well, as is…