I imagine we are born with a deep understanding of life that sits silent until we are ready to connect the dots. In the past, I never would have imagined that I would grow up to be this woman who I am today. I believe there is this deep mystery to life and when we begin to question our own actions, how we speak and even the thoughts we think the door cracks open. Not completely open but a little bit every day! Before this opening begins we struggle through life trying to figure everything out because we have this need to know, this desire to control and this instinct that we know what is best for everyone.
I believe that the greatest of lessons to learn of course is the ability to love unconditionally. Then to not take anything personally, and to savor moments by staying present! As a mother in the past raising four children I believed I was setting an example and that I was being watched at all times by them. I knew to be present and today I am grateful that I have the memories in my mind forever of being an at home mom who stopped whatever I was doing to listen to my children. I supported their dreams, their achievements, listened to their fears and learned to respect them and to love who they love.
My youngest daughter, has decided to live far from her family and travels around the world as well as being a Recreational Therapist for those with disabilities. I look at her in awe as I am clueless as to God’s plan for her and I feel blessed that I know she does not belong to me and has her own inner wisdom that has cracked the door open early for her.
I am thankful that this inner wisdom has unfolded to show me that I have the ability to wake up in the morning daily to meditate, pray and journal as I thank God for another day to try to be like Him.
Is this wisdom because of my age? Or, is this the crack in the doorway opening wider?
I had a conversation recently with my husband about someone being middle-age … we had to smile because we are past the middle-age mark and yet I know in my heart I feel so young. I have a deep connection to that girl from yesterday and I marvel at how clueless she was about me and where I would be today.
This is the mystery of life I celebrate!