Retreat … Ritual … Renew … Believe …
I am amazed daily when I hear of others needing to go on a Retreat to find themselves, to learn what their purpose in life is. I hear stories where everyone blames their parents. I see their pain in their eyes because they fear they are not worthy. Many of us have had abusive, alcoholic and detached fearful parents that have projected their fear unto us because they knew of no other way to be. Generational is the word as life is handed down by our parents from their parents and so forth. It takes three generations to break the pattern of depression, I have read. My story is no different or less painful and trust me I was a fearful child and woman until …
I went within to discover my inner child and love her as she is. I have promised her that I WILL protect her and love her forever. I apologized that I was overwhelmed by the circumstances of my childhood but now I know better.
Today at this very second in time, I believe my life is a RETREAT! I suddenly came to this realization one day when I sat at my kitchen table where I have been sitting for almost 26 years every morning to journal. I simply and honestly love the written word and the insight I receive from the books I read and from the words I journal. Of course, living on the water is an added bonus. I am blessed and grateful for all that this life experience has shared with me but to be able to know that ritual in my life is essential. My daily ritual is to first meditate, pray, journal and then go outside and thank Mother Nature for another day to be of service. I ask who can I say ‘yes’ to, today? I light candles, burn incense and read a spiritual book. I actually time my reading because I am capable of getting lost in a book. The other day I realized once again an ‘aha’ moment that God has given me the time to “play” with HIM! I cannot say which one of these rituals saved me from a life of despair and fear but the one that I have done my whole life is taking pen to paper. My journal was my friend and confidant – a form of therapy from the moment I learned to write. Stories, poems, letters have been a writing passion of mine.
I have learned through that which has guided me, which I imagine is my Spirit, to somehow renew myself. I am not the girl I was yesterday because I have embraced my past, my inner child and I have hugged her close to my heart through these rituals I needed to create to become who I am today. I did not question, I did not doubt everything but I moved forward looking for nothing more than inner peace. In doing so, I took the lessons I have come here to learn and I have said “YES, I am Woman! I have purpose! I am powerful! I am allowed to be ME!”
I travelled a path filled with this desire to know why others were not kind, respectful, loving or even just honest. I wanted to learn why people do the things they do to harm themselves and those they love? Why do parents not know how powerful they are and that they wound their children from an early age to become depressed which develops into being addicted, violent, angry and abusive?
As I sit at my laptop amazed at all that I have learned and that God has given me the ability to share with others that we are all His Children, we are not alone ever, and that only we can do the work through many different avenues to release that which no longer serves us.
For the past ten years I discovered a woman within that I never would have believed was there. I have been able to renew myself completely. Today, I proudly acknowledge I am the author of the book Making Believers: Connect to the Light within. I offer One-on-One Sessions for those who God sends to me to share information with. I am a student of Deborah King’s 21st Century Energy Medicine program. My passion is to learn, to know, to discover knowledge that I can share because it is the foundation of my being – it is what helps me to renew myself daily. Like an onion I am still peeling the layers away. I started a Monthly Healing Circle of Love this year and I had my version of a Women’s Discovery Retreat through the Written Word in April.
I believe that anything is possible and that much can be learned from the women of yesterday who have taken the time to retreat through ritual to renew themselves as they believe who they are today when they embrace the good in their life and hug their inner child so that she finally feels worthy and safe.