Today I reflect on my life and all that I have experienced. Who am I? Where am I gong? How did I get to this page? The questions of my mind are constant and fill me with comfort. It has been a journey. Remarkable – yes! It seems it has been my path to live by choice to discover and heal from the experiences of yesterday.
Interesting word ‘heal,’ what do I need to heal from? An interesting question to ponder. Growing up in the charm of a simple life mixed with alcoholism and mental illness helped me to get here I believe. I was clueless of fear or that something was wrong growing up. After all, I was a child who loved to read and write. I wanted to grow up to be a teacher. The words of yesterday were completely different to the ones many of us use today. I can imagine how filled with fear the children are today to hear of the labels we as a society constantly speak of; drugs, addictions, anger, war, death and fear.
I was blessed to be an at home mom and play with my children conscious of our time together. In the future will the absence of parents today because of money issues and children being raised outside of their home by others show us one day of a misplaced void in life. Can the mass amount of toys and electronics stop the desire for imagination to develop so a child can find who they want to be.
The simplicity of yesterday for me had been reading, writing, coloring, playing with dolls, going to the park, swimming and playing outside, riding a bicycle and watching my brother play stick ball or stoop ball. The games of yesterday were mingled with fresh air and the beauty of Mother Nature daily. My family walked everywhere because my dad never owned a car or had a drivers license. We took neighborhood walks all the time as well.
In reflection, on how I was raised enables me to be grateful for the parents I chose and thankful that we honored our contracts. Interesting word ‘contracts’ one might ask! My belief is that I chose my parents to learn from them, which I honestly believe I have. Our contracts equal my life today and all that I was given. Today I believe there was no abandonment as I felt in the past but more that there was a reason for everything.
My look within has taken me to an understanding that my dad and mom sacrificed for me their desires and needs for my growth. My dad was abandoned at a young age, classified suicidal, manic-depressant and alcoholic for the seventy years he was here. In my eyes he was the wisest of men. The torch he handed me to run with was unconditional love, belief in myself and a desire to find my inner wisdom. I learned from this wise man that I called dad that anything is possible and that we are here to help one another and yet society told me he was crazy.
My mom empowered me to be stronger than she could ever be because of her fears which I imagine were all handed down to her. Her gift to me was that we are all one and no one is better than anyone else. I learned to not criticize or judge but to accept everyone as they are.
In this blog, I will share all the believable alternatives that I discovered during my life that has allowed me to nourish myself and grow to who I am today. I look forward to comments and in some way that you reflect on your journey and discover your gifts and lessons learned.
Meditate. Journal. Pray.