The Ultimate Guide to Processing Loss

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There is sadness, and an ache for all that will never be. The loss is part of life as change is the process. Nothing ever stays the same. We live, and we die. We discover, and we make choices. Sometimes they are excellent choices and sometimes they are not. My thought is about processing the loss we experience. The only thing that is constant in all our lives is change.

“Mostly it is the loss which teaches us about the worth of things.” – Arthur Schopenhauer

The loss of our loved ones, the loss of our relationships, our jobs and even the loss of our pets. Terrorism is a loss, as well as drastic changes in our weather, fire, and hurricanes. There is a loss where a person you love cannot find their place in life and ends up as a loss to themselves and others. They only are fighting a battle that they cannot win unless they incorporate change into their existence.

Life can be dark. Life can be scary and feel unsafe for some. The loss is that which we cannot release as the pain seeps deep into our mind and body. We get that lump in our throats when triggered by another’s loss. We know our loss, and we feel their loss. How do we deal with these nightmares in our lives? The loss we feel is simply the horror that we experience or one we anticipate.

Tears need to fall. Tears are required to stream down our face and wet our lips as we process the pain of loss. Does it matter what type of damage there is? No! What is important is that we handle the loss and deal with the pain through meditation, prayer, journaling, and by embracing Mother Nature.

“Grief is NOT a disorder, a disease or sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.” – Earl Grollman

To embrace Mother Nature, we stroll through the streets of our neighborhood, walk through a park, sit in the sand at the beach. We need to breathe in the essence of her beauty to heal the heart that is wounded. Her vision will allow us to taste the salt air on our lips as the sun warms our face! To be grounded in the presence of Mother Nature will heal us. As we heal others will heal as well.

Many years ago when I was struggling with a loss of self actually, it was a daily walk outside and at the beach that comforted me. I felt connected to something that was bigger than me. I felt loved by the beauty of nature. It took me some time to heal and find that I could love me as I am. There was no loss anymore sitting within. I grew from the experience of this as we all can grow from any loss that we allow to shut us down.

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Death is a significant loss of life for everyone. I have decided to stop counting the deaths in my life experience. I cannot imagine how much more will come. As I cannot choose who lives or dies, it is my freedom to accept that change, loss and death are part of the game. I believe that we are eternal beings, so there is no death just a transition from this life to the other side of the veil.

“No one ever really dies as long as they took the time to leave us with fond memories.” – Chris Sorensen

The process of life and death which equals loss is to grieve as long as is necessary. To cry, go to bed but for no longer than 48 hours with the covers over our head. Disconnect from life for a few days and feel the pain. Journal. Meditate. Pray. It will help us and those we are grieving if we pray for them. There is no set time to grieve. We must grieve those we lose to their transition. I always imagine that life and death is a tremendous plan we incorporate in the spirit world before we arrive as part of the game of life.

I recall, years ago when my brother died my mom wore black for two years. In looking back, my grandmother wore black all of her life because of the deaths of her many children. Was it a way of showing the world, ‘I am in pain.’ ‘I am grieving a loss.’ ‘I am sad.’ Today we seem to jump right back into our lives and forget to stop and mourn. To breathe in the death and loss of someone we loved is extremely necessary. Eventually, illness will surface if we do not take the time to grieve our loss.

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Life has a blanket around each of us that is comforting at times, but at other moments it seems not to be able to keep us warm. It can be itchy or too thin! The drama in our lives that surround a loss is the sadness of the heart for that which will never be. Can we scream and beat ourselves up for something that we have no control over. No! Can we blame ourselves for something we have no control over when something or someone comes to its end? No!

The loss we all experience is part of life as we change and grow into our awareness. It matters not the type of loss but that we take the time to feel the pain. We need to reflect on our lives and our loves. We will heal from that which has changed because our lives are all eternal.

Loss of self is the hardest for the person and those around them. To not understand because of confusion, to change ever so slowly on a daily basis because the mind is confused. The onset of dementia creeps into an entire families world not only the victim of said illness. Dementia changes the mind as well as the way the person acts because the memory begins to fade. It is almost as if they do not even know if they spoke or not. The sadness that surfaces are coupled with anger because they do not know if they spoke out loud, inside their heads or did not speak at all. It must feel as if they are going insane to them.

“It all goes away. Eventually, everything goes away.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

Years can pass by and still there is something different, but no one can grasp the significance of dementia that is creeping into their lives. We as a society expect those we love, as they age to have loss of memory. However, loss of memory and dementia are different because of the confusion that sets in as well. It is not a matter of where I put the keys but more about what are the keys for with dementia.

All loss fills us with pain. All loss is sad. All loss at one time or another will touch all of our lives. The loss of our lives is part of the game of life. We simply need to become aware and prepare ourselves that loss is possible. The loss we get to experience is part of life!

Pray! Meditate! Juornal!

www.LindaAmato.com

 

 

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