Our path is a journey of discovery for each of us. We all awaken at a time in our lives when we cannot take the pain any longer. There are many kinds of abuse, but mental abuse is the most difficult because the words spin around in our minds. An ego is a beautiful tool that can repeat words over and over again in our head. However, the words that scream within usually are negative and filled with anger from another.
“Life is a spell so exquisite that everything conspires to break it.” -Emily Dickinson
Fear stems from the root of our ego. We are blessed with this ego to guide us to awaken to the love of self and love of another. The battle within is that the fear believes it is better and knows what is right for another. Love is the opposite, for it is pure and breathes into all the essence of our truth. Once we embrace love as the belief of who we are no one can ever abuse us.
Each of our experiences is different, but if there is pain, tears, fear, and sorrow, then there is a form of abuse from another inflicted onto you. Why does another feel they have such a right to be mean, condescending, even angry at your actions and choices? Can it be they are mad at their choices in life today which have nothing to do with you!
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” -Henry David Thoreau
In the past, I searched for something more… I did not know at the time what I needed, but the universe stepped forward and showed me a different life that was possible. As an avid reader, I always believed I was in search of something, and that was why I read so much. My best friend has always been my journal. Writing helped me to survive through the years growing up and then as a wife and mother.
I never understood mean people or controlling people who wanted me to be other than who I was. What was wrong with me? My path would take me on this incredible journey of books and teachers that would lead me to an understanding of people and their fears.
“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” -Soren Kierkegaard
If I have learned anything, it is that people show you who they are. We as a society try to change one another because it is how we have been raised to believe. Our daily world is changing all around us, and yet we refuse to stop and take inventory of how we are living our lives. Instead, we are concerned with how others are choosing to live.
Abuse of any kind from another is not acceptable ever! Our planet, our home, our mother is feeling the abuse as well. It is our anger towards each other, hate and fear that is spinning her to rebel as well. Love is the essence of our life. Love is the tool to change who we are and to heal ourselves and our world.
I set myself free of those who hurt me by forgiving them and in doing so, I set them free too with love in my heart. I learned the greatest of lessons is that we cannot change anybody else. We can only improve ourselves. I aimed to become a better me. Opening my heart filled with love and acceptance for all is the journey I travel today.
“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” -Marcus Aurelius
Changing oneself opens the door to embrace that which is possible. The reality of this is that we can only change ourselves, it is impossible to change another. As we are one, genuinely connected by all that is others will change and as they do, will see us differently.
Even if others do not understand how we are different, they will know something is not the same. The most significant gift we can offer on those who abuse us is to accept them as they are because that is what we want them to do for us.
Words are the key to many angry outbursts that are not necessarily your truth but as how your abuser sees things. Thank them for their opinion and tell them you will think about their words. Fill your heart with love and move on.
“Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!” -Oscar Wilde
When we as women/men stay true to who we are and drop the defense patterns that no longer serve us, it is at that moment that our world will change for the better. It comes down to trusting God and that there is a process to live. Let go today and Let God do His work!
When we choose to be kind, loving and accepting of them, knowing they are living in fear and praying for them, allowing them to be as they need to be, we are offering them, love. We must first start with loving whow we are. It is not the truth of who others are that they show us. They show us their fear.
Some parents believe it is their right to control their children; that their children MUST listen to them even when they are adults. They fear that they are not needed anymore. But, mostly it is a belief that they as the parents, know what is best for their children. It matters not to them that their children are grown and with children of their own. There is never respect in a relationship that travels this path from the parent to the adult child.
“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
There was a time where I chose to accept all people as they are because I saw their fears. Look, and you will also see their fears in how they talk to you. It is almost as if they regress to being a child again and in doing so, act like a child today. A sort of temper tantrum. Listen to them, and you will not need to defend yourself. You never need to defend yourself once you are an adult, mother/father as a wife/husband to another if you are loving and kind to all.
Unfortunately, you will never be able to reach who is abusing you. All you can do is change who you are and how you perceive others. When we all choose to love and not fear we drop our patterns of defense because we know love is all there is. Be the being of love you were born as no matter what.
Pray. Meditate. Journal.