Golden Rules for Personal Growth, Stimulation and Self-Mastery …

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We as a society struggle daily with the news, politics, and relationships in our personal choices. How can we be responsible, excited, in harmony and creative within our own lives? I have developed these golden rules to unravel the fear, guilt, shame, and grief that followed me in my life since a young child. It is an interesting journey the path we travel when we are aligned with our soul’s truth. In doing so, we nourish and nurture the part of ourselves that falls into the category of self-love.

The Golden Rules for Personal Growth Stimulation and Self-Mastery are:

Mother Nature – Prayer – Journal/Writing – Meditation

“And into the forest, I go, to lose my mind and find my soul…” – sun-gazing.com

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Interestingly enough, the first golden rule that I developed was to connect to Mother Nature. A simple, free inclusion into a daily life of being outside in any form that we will benefit from. A walk around the block. Sitting under a tree or as a child, I use to climb trees in a park near my home with my brother. If I remember correctly, I think we actually named our trees.

At a young age, I learned never to disrespect Mother Nature. Swimming at the beach was a favorite, walking along the waters edge breathing in the salt air even captivated me later in life. Sunbathing is a time when we can relax and let the sun warm our bodies. Hiking in the woods as well as sitting in the woods are simple and effective for the changes we desire in life  The act of being outside a few times a week away from electronics and breathing in the elements of earth, water, fire, and air are part of a significant golden rule. This golden rule allows us to be clear of mind and not to make assumptions in life.

“Prayer does not fit us for the greater work: prayer is the greater work…” – Oswald Chambers

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Raised by any kind of religion that is our foundation comes with prayers. Praying connects us to the Divine Intelligence that we believe. Any positive word of love, and joy, as well as a blessing bestowed on another, is a form of prayer. Yes, we all have our favorites but when we acknowledge that our thoughts manifest our lives we pay attention to the words in our mind and the words that fall out of our mouths as a form of prayer. There are three superpowers that we all possess: thought, word, and action!

Growing up I never understood why people were mean and hateful with their words. I was very conscious always of how hurt I would become when someone was vicious, mean, critical or condescending to me. It filled me with a ‘zap’ of fear, guilt, and shame that lasted for years. I felt that I had done something wrong. I learned through the act of prayer to be the best that I could be in life. By paying attention to my own thoughts, words and actions I have changed my life for the better. Simply by switching from a negative thought to a positive thought takes a second. If I catch myself with words filling my mind that are not positive, I repeat three times, cancel, clear, delete!

“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect…” – Anais-nin

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The benefit of the third golden rule is when we take a pen to paper in a journal. As a form of release and detaching from the fears, of guilt and shame that I experienced it was my greatest moments in life that I adhered to as soon as I could write.

The simplicity of talking to oneself in a book through the written word and releasing what did not serve me helped me to understand human nature and why people spoke and acted the way they did. Yesterday I was clueless about the power of the ego that dwells in the realm of fear. Many in my life were fearful and projected this unto me as a child. In my journal, I could release the fear and heal myself. It was a journey of going within to discover my truth and to not take anything personally.

Writing has many forms besides keeping a journal! You can keep a Goals Book, and a To Do List Book. Every morning I write whatever goals I am interested in achieving. Then I go to “The Notebook” and write all that I desire to accomplish during the day.  It can be anything from journal writing, Facebook,  writing my blog, posting my blog, emails, food shopping, bills, or banking. Then I check each one, as I accomplish said task.

At the end of the day, I go over the few and sometimes none at all with a yellow highlighter so that I carry those forward tomorrow. This form of writing keeps me responsible for myself every day and I found it extremely beneficial. When you think in your head about what you want to do it slips out of your mind and disappears.

“Meditation can help us embrace our worries, our fear, our anger; and that is very healing. We let our own natural capacity of healing do the work…” -Thich Nhat Hanh

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Late in life, I discovered the true power of this last golden rule that I practice diligently. Meditation has healed me in many ways. I am now calm,  filled with inner peace and in harmony while experiencing fun. I accept that there is a plan as well as searching for a better way to live my life.

My teacher, Deborah King states, “Meditation will help you tune into your waking life in a way you never thought you could experience. Your consciousness will expand. You will be able to tap into the universal energy that will assist you in healing yourself and your life. Meditation paves the way for emotional healing. On an energetic level, meditation will assist you in removing any blockages that come from holding onto anger and resentment. Meditation ushers in what may be the most important part of the energy healing process, forgiveness.”

I have found that I am loving life. I am blessed by the power of connecting to Mother Nature, my daily prayers, taking pen to paper, and of course daily sitting in silence twice a day for twenty minutes in meditation. There is a deep power that I am gifted by the silence of life in the twenty minutes I sit whether it is inside or outside, under a tree, at a waterfall or just in my backyard. I feel energized at times as well when in the middle of the day I choose to do my meditation practice.

I hope that you will pick one of these golden rules to start a journey in changing your life if you are having difficulty. Pick one for one week and then pick another to delve into the following week and so on. Remember consistency and staying focused daily is the most important on the path to follow these golden rules for personal growth, stimulation, and self-mastery.

Meditate. Pray. Journal. Go Outside.

www.LindaAmato.com

 

Dear Self…

Please join me in this adventure by going within. I would like you to take pen to paper and write yourself a letter to you from your Higher Self. Go to that place of intuition where you know that there is a Divine Intelligence and communicate openly. You are living a human existence, but you are a spiritual being.

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All of us have come here with challenges and lessons to discover who we are. We have questions, and we want answers. The process is to ask, listen for an answer, and then take action. We know to ask, but we choose not to listen to the response at times. When we make no effort, there can be no change.

“A word after a word after a word is power.” – Margaret Atwood

Fear is the doubt of your being but not today! Today, you will go within and begin the journey to all that you are and all that you have lived through this lifetime. Your Higher Self knows all the answers because it has been with you forever. Your soul, my soul is the spiritual part of our existence and is eternal.

I believe we all have the same general questions! Take a look at the letter below and see if you can relate to the insight given. If you can connect, then dig a little deeper and ask for that which you need to make a change in your life today. Remember, we must take action to create a difference in our lives. There are no quick fixes or miracles. An act is a step that is needed to manifest and create change.

“Tears are words that need to be written.” -Paulo Coelho

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  • Who am I?
  • What is my passion?
  • What is my purpose?
  • Why am I in this situation at this time?
  • Why is this happening to me again?
  • I do not understand _______________?

 

 

Dear Self,
You did it! The silence and the unknown have brought you home. The fears, abuse, challenges, and nightmares you embraced beautifully through love and inner wisdom connects you to live your truth today.

To believe is a knowing that anything is possible! The discovery of your truth ignited your ability to change which has now led you to the light. Was it easy? No! Was their pain, yes! And, you survived!

Without questions, there were no answers; only belief. The moment of your call, your heart opened wide as it filled with love to heal; your story-your fears-your demons! Your soul will now give you a gift of hope to share.

The challenges are part of the life experience for all, but once you saw the lesson, you grasped part of your destiny. You never doubted that the process would be lengthy or complicated. The beat of your heart told you to travel the journey forward because the end was your destiny.

The ego quivered fearfully of no longer being heard, as you ran forward without looking back. It took a lifetime of many difficulties, but you chose to see with love; speak with passion and be love! In doing so, you will help many.

You did it! You changed your story to share with the world. A belief that anything is possible when one beckons the unknown to walk along the path of one’s desires and passion. In doing so, we all discover our truth of purpose. It is merely that which fuels you living as a spiritual being having a human experience.

Always, Higher

“I write to discover what I know.” -Flannery O’Connor

May the light within guide you on your path and journey of discovery. We as humans, struggle with the fears and demands made on us in life. What if, we merely went within for the answers to these demons and nightmares that grip us but which we need to release and let go of today.

Hopefully, your answers will enlighten you on that which is your purpose because you are passionate about it. In doing so, it all comes down to how we choose to live our life at this time. For change to appear on our journeys, we are the only ones who can take a step towards the action of our dreams.

Meditate. Pray. Journal.
www.LindaAmato.com

The Reflection

She walked past the window and out of the corner of her eye she did not recognize herself. She trembled at her reflection. She felt like picking up a stone and flinging it at the window. Then she looked again and there she was. Her eyes were beckoning to her to look deeper.

“Sometimes, you have to look back in order to understand the things that lie ahead.” – Yvonne Woon

She took a deep breath and stood perfectly still as she looked into the window and her life. It flashed right before her eyes at her reflection. Slowly the tears began to fall. The sudden deaths, miscarriages, and divorces she had experienced. The pain of abuse, abandonment, and addiction.

Of course, she had to change. Those memories had to change how she looked to the world unless someone was to look genuinely at her. What would they see? She looked into her eyes and saw her inner self-hanging on by her fingertips. She heard the voice, ‘help me!” As she wiped away a tear, she smiled and walked away!

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In that instant, the door opened to grasp the lessons that were evident in her life. Recently she had discovered that there is a reason for everything that happens in life through this power many have called manifestation. Along the way, there seemed because of this power of expression that there are no mistakes in life. We actually as humans manifest and create our existence by our thoughts, words, and actions. We have superpowers!

“Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.” -Roy T. Bennett

Kindness was the word she reflected on at this moment. All she could gather was that people did not know how to be kind. Why? So she decided to be kind to everyone even strangers. What harm could come from a smile, a hello, maybe just a thank you? She started her mission that very day and was amazed that people were receptive.

It dawned on her that people were engulfed daily in their personal stories. As she reflected on this thought, she agreed because had she not also held her story close to her heart. Today, she realized anyone could change their story. There was a time where she felt the pain and sorrow daily. Not ever realizing that all she had to do is to leave the despair in the past.

She began to embrace that inner self, her inner child that had been hanging on and asked for help. She started to pay attention to those she shared her life. As she traveled to different celebrations and met many people while talking to them, she observed: that there were two kinds of people. Like her in the past, there were many filled with fear. While others mostly were happy and chose to love.

She wanted to learn how to choose love forever and ever. The journey began on that day as she searched through books, courses, retreats, and workshops to discover a new way of being. To change, forgive and release her story. In learning all about the central fear of self that stemmed from the ego, she would also determine where the self of love was. It was a simple two-step belief: choose fear or choose love.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” -Paulo Coelho

Thinking back to the reflection of herself in the window, she realized she had been filled with fear her entire life. So she asked herself what was she afraid of most of her life? All her worries had begun in her childhood and were not of her belief system today. Cellular memories could be triggered in any situation and pop up right there, and then, and fear would rise she recalled. If there was to be no fear anymore then like her, anyone could change their story. In her heart, she believed that anything was possible.

Today, she knew deep within that there is no reason to fear. Now she looked at the choice of love which was a connection to the self within which is one’s Spirit. She knew that once connected to the Spirit of Self; love was the only option to choose. Spirit has no fear. Spirit is Love. Instead of allowing memory to surface from the past as a trigger all she had to do was embrace the choice of love no matter what was going on because fear is not real.

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Amazingly, she wanted to travel this path and journey in life by choosing only love. She decided to think up a process to do so. Maybe a type of plan to follow she imagined? After all taking action is vital to change as she learned by making decisions with her heart and being logical about this process of life we as humans experience.

How does one connect to their Spirit of Self, she wondered? She took pen to paper after mediating and began with how she changed her life to be free of fear and only to choose love. Knowing today that it was a challenge and that she struggled for years merely to believe that she could.

“One should eat to live, not live to eat.” -Benjamin Franklin

Here is the plan, to taking action, while opening your heart and making logical decisions in life:
1. Speak words of love that are positive and affirm them often.
2. Learning to meditate and sit in silence while going within.
3. Writing in a journal as an act to process the past, forgive, and release it.
4. Setting goals down in a book that begins as affirmative sentences of who you are and how you want to live.
5. Creating Sacred Space in the home, with incense, candles, crystals, and essential oils where the essence and energy of the divine could enter.
6. Journeying outside and embracing the beauty of Mother Nature.
7. Reading of Spiritual books to enlighten the heart to open as to how the ways of ritual and how our ancestors believed.
8. Consuming healthy organic raw foods, superfoods, super herbs and fewer animal products, and more plant-based meals as part of daily consumption.

Meditate. Pray. Journal.
www.LindaAmato.com

Life is Worth Living

At this time in the evolution of life, let us individually, contemplate the following …
1. Do you love yourself?
2. Are you healthy?
3. Do you know your purpose?
4. Are you happy?

Interestingly many will answer, ‘yes’ that they love themselves. If health is an issue? There is no clue as to what their purpose of life is? They  are not happy? Then many are lying to the depths of their inner core of self. The majority of people tend to look outside of themselves for happiness. Whether that be; material objects, food, addictive choices or merely a new relationship.

fullsizeoutput_7ba5What is this concept of loving the self all about anyway? When a man or woman love who they are in life and how they are experiencing life the following appears in their life. They take the time to nurture and nourish their body, mind, and soul. In doing so, they choose healthy foods to consume which means they do not eat processed foods.

Processed foods are all foods that come in plastic and boxes. Fast foods are the worst possible foods any of us can consume. Chemicals, genetically modified organisms are in these types of foods, as well as toxins and pesticides, especially if we are not choosing organic. It has come down to learning about ingredients in our food and what we are putting in our mouths. If you cannot pronounce the ingredients, don’t eat it!

Foods that are not real, not fresh, not healthy wild fish, not organic free-range meats are harming the body. First, we are a soul, eternal beings that need to nurture the desires of our soul by connecting to Mother Nature. Second, we have a mind that is abundant with wisdom to share with others in whatever creative outlet we desire. Third, we have a body which as a vehicle for our soul needs to be nourished to live.

We are together on this planet to grow, expand and develop our souls which are eternal. Begin by eliminating processed foods. Choose to expand our minds through the act of reading spiritual books, taking classes on subjects that interest us. Many that love themselves also love Mother Nature. That is where the magic in life happens; a walk outside, planting, growing foods, swimming, hiking, sitting in the sun, meditating under a tree. Being one with nature by being in nature is medicine!

IMG_8555When we learn to meditate which is staying focused for at least 20 minutes, we center, and ground ourselves to spirit. A form of meditation can be watching our breath go in and out. Others are; walking outside in silence, running, sitting under a tree, hiking, swimming, playing the guitar or another instrument, journaling, reading a spiritual book. We as human beings on this planet need to take the time to rest, relax and be one with spirit at least once a day.

IMG_5281When we are happy, and healthy because we love ourself, we will then discover our purpose. Whatever we are passionate about doing, creating, manifesting is our mission today. That which is part of our goal in life is to love ourselves so that we can love another? The another in life is all of life. Our relationships, with our parents, sibling, spouses, children, grandchildren, friends, co-workers, and bosses. A simple smile, a greeting of hello, acknowledgment to anyone from the mailman to the supermarket clerk will change your life.

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Let’s look at dogs for the lesson that they can offer to us when it comes to unconditional love. Dogs show us how to love unconditionally by their excitement to see us each and every time. They do not care how we look, dress, wear our clothes or how we act. They love us as we are period. I am a dog lover and have had a few dogs through my life experience. But this lil guy ‘Buddiethepom’ has an Instagram page you can follow. He is 13 years old and has a fan base. Why? He gives the essence of love to all …

 

If there are any health issues we are concerned about, let’s take the time to check in with what foods we are consuming. Why do we consume fast foods, processed foods, junk foods, alcohol, and drugs? If we truly love who we are as we are, we will choose more vegetables, superfoods, maybe once a week eat a vegetarian meal or even a plant-based meal. Drinking enough water with a pinch of Sea Salt is a priority in life instead of soda or chemical-filled drinks. Take a look at the benefits of herbs that are available instead of popping a pill. If you are not aware of what healthy foods are then take a course. www.BodyMindInstitute.com is a great choice to begin with to be inspired to eat healthy for yourself or if you are inclined to teach.

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If you are not happy and you want to be, YOU MUST begin to love who you are as you are. Forgive your past. Forgive yourself. Forgive everyone that may have hurt you in some manner. Bless your future. Learn alternatives to help you on this fantastic light-filled, loving world that we all live in together. We will look back one day and discover we have regrets. It is never too late to release anything that no longer serves any of us today. Hopefully, when it is our time to transition we will smile and say, “I lived a great life!”

Meditate. Pray. Journal.
www.LindaAmato.com

What Right Have You Discarded Because of Abuse​?

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Abuse is prevalent in our society and many of our hearts are broken, dis-eased (breast, lung, thymus disorders plus asthma and immune system deficiency)  because we are in pain by a person who claims to love us. We choose especially, as women to give our POWER and OUR RIGHTS away in the name of love?

We have a chakra system within. Which are the blueprint for our soul! Our heart is the fourth chakra and ‘Our right to love and be loved.’ As well as being the bridge between the lower and upper chakras.

  • Chakra One – ‘Our right to be here’
  • Chakra Two – ‘Our right to feel’
  • Chakra Three – ‘Our right to act’
  • Above the heart Chakra Five – ‘Our right to be heard’
  • Chakra Six ‘Our right to see’
  • Chakra Seven ‘Our right to know.’

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” – Oscar Wilde

When our chakras are balanced, it is our right to experience the following:
– Chakra 1 / Our foundation (base of spine), we feel safe, secure and comfortable in our physical body.
– Chakra 2 / Our sensation (sacral), we feel sensual, passionate, emotional and fluid.
– Chakra 3 / Our identity/power (solar plexus), we are action-oriented, self-assured and courageous.
– Chakra 4 / Our relationships (heart) are compassionate, loving and harmonious
– Chakra 5 / Our resonance (throat), is expressive, creative and we are communicative
– Chakra 6 / Our insight (third eye/brow), is intuitive, imaginative and perceptive
– Chakra 7 / Our understanding (crown), is wise, transcendent, visionary, open-minded, intelligent and thoughtful.

Let us journey into the wounded/closed unbalanced heart chakra. It is the beautiful color of emerald-green. There are many different kinds of hearts in our society; some become damaged by fear, guilt, shame, grief, lies, anger, and hate. Some are chipped at daily by the act of mental abuse, betrayal and physical abuse from a loved one. To heal the heart, we first must examine our belief around self-love and self-acceptance. Forgiveness begins with ourselves and where appropriate towards others.

“All abuses traumatize the heart chakra as they betray love.”  – Anodea Judith

Our hearts suffer even from movies, the radio, and newspapers when we hear of killings and violence toward our fellow humanity. The abuse towards our planet bruises our hearts, as well as tornadoes, hurricanes, and forest fires. Our hearts are sensitive to what we are connected to daily whether it be by sight, sound, touch, emotional or spiritual. Sometimes in conversation one can become triggered by another. A flashback to a time when words by a loved one hurt.

If any chakra is out of balance, it is due to the act of neglect, abuse, grief and not feeling loved which affects our heart. We as a society, as parents, siblings, friends, lovers are strong. We are powerful! Our power stems from our thoughts, words, and actions. We are unaware of the damage that is done by the apparent abuse of our words towards someone we claim to love which if unkind, is a form of abuse.

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Parents are influential. They can heal or harm a child that grows into an adult. Words are like swords in our heart! Painful memories in our soul! Sometimes this hurt and pain travel lifetimes with many of us. A wounded, closed heart stems from becoming detached, and refusing to change or grow towards a joyful destination in life as a human.

“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.”  – William Shakespeare

Everyone is aware of that feeling while lying in bed when we feel an inner ache in our chest. Deep in our heart area because a loved one of ours is experiencing abuse of some kind, has a dis-ease, or has transitioned over. There is no reason for such pain in our lives, which can be healed by beginning to choose love. Peace can arrive, even if someone is no longer here through prayer and meditation. A loss is a deep pain that fills our heart with sorrow but when we choose to love we will be healed.

I believe those with deep wounds that have closed their hearts carry fear, profound grief, and criticism because they feel unaccepted and are afraid of involvement and commitment. They need to achieve some power over others to feel deserving, right and that they are in control. They may long for tenderness but due to their prior abuse from a loved one have difficulty admitting it. They are looking for approval because they believe that approval means love. What type of disapproval did they experience is the question?

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“Thus children … are confronted by a tormentor they love, not one they hate and this tragic complication will have a devastating influence on their entire subsequent life. ”  – Alice Miller

Another form of abuse is abandonment that does damage to the heart. Not feeling worthy of love, no rules, and no boundaries set the child forward on a path of not believing they are essential. Something happened to these adults in the past that has been buried deep within that they refuse to release. They cling to a form of escape with a wounded, closed heart when it comes to love by not letting in any emotions or feelings to surface. It is their grief, anger, hate, and fear that they feed and nourish daily.

We will never know why but they have never felt loved or worthy of love. They live a life of pain and keep a barrier up to protect themselves. Within their essence is this belief that they are alone, separated and need to defend who they are from others through abuse. It comes down to them choosing a defensive, negative pattern.

When all our chakras are balanced, and we have a healthy heart, there is no dis-ease in the body. There is no addiction, no fear, no guilt, no shame, no grief, no lies, attachment or illusion. As these are the demons of all the chakras starting with Chakra One.

Please ask yourself at this time what demon are you feeding? What is it within you that you are nourishing daily as that demon that you cling to because of something that happened to you yesterday by a loved one. What right have you discarded because of another’s abuse toward you?

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There are lessons in life, and sometimes we are not aware of the teaching until it is too late. Hurting another’s heart willingly, and consciously hurts our heart as well. Kindness, love, and support are the tools we as humans need to strive for in our relationships. If we can open our hearts to know we are worthy of love today because we are born of love our lives will manifest greatness.

After years of having our heart chipped away by abusive words, damage to our psyche and exhaustion to our mind, we hold on tightly to our innocence of self. A discovery of self-opens the door for our freedom to arrive. Sooner or later a wounded, closed heart affects all those around them. No one has the right to take away even one of the seven rights that we are born with as a spiritual being having a human experience. Know you are worthy of love today.

PRAY! MEDITATE! JOURNAL!
BE KIND = BE WELL = CHOOSE LOVE!
www.LindaAmato.com

It Is Now Time To ‘PAUSE!’



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As humans living a spiritual journey, we as a society rush around from one moment to another. We struggle with all that we have to accomplish. We become frantic this time of year because of the holiday season. Money goes on gifts that people sometimes do not want or need

Through it all, we have become a people that struggle! Whoever we are in the family or friends that we communicate with there is a struggle to behold. The biggest of these during this time of year is those that we have lost. Grief grips us in a moment and tears well up, and we remember what will never be.

“Be a reflection of what you’d like to see in others! If you want love, give love, if you want honesty, give honesty, if you want respect, give respect. You get in return, what you give!” – Unknown

It just is too much! Then we have to take into account where we are as a person in our own lives …

-Have we manifested our dreams?
-Did we do all that we said we would do this year?
-Have we been able to move forward in life more abundant this year?
-Is being happy part of our daily life? If not, what can we do to change this?

“A pause gives you breathing space so listen to the whispers of the real you waiting to happen.” -Tara Estacaan

Today is the day that you need to ‘pause.’ Sit down in silence for a few minutes and dream your dream. Take pen to paper and write a letter to yourself on how you crave to live your life. Walk outside in Mother Nature and breathe in the wonders that are waiting for you. Ask and then listen, and you will hear what to do.

DSCF0137Reflection of the self is necessary at this time of the year. We are all a year older, and life sometimes gets away from us. The chores of our daily life experience can override our hearts desires. One day we had a beautiful dream, but the next day we are living a nightmare. When we ‘pause’ we take into account that which will bring us joy and happiness. It is our right to have joy and happiness daily in our lives. Anything we need to know waits within to be acknowledged.

Many of us believe that life is meant to be difficult, that we cannot be abundant or we need to feel pain. If your life is unhappy, painful, filled with lack, or you are unhealthy, then take this day to ‘pause,’ reflect, and rewrite your dreams. We are here to love one another, raise our vibration and to be of service.

“Since everything is a reflection of our minds … Everything can be changed by our minds.” -Buddha

We each must go within to find the answers we seek. If grief is part of your experience at this moment, please celebrate the life you were blessed to be a part of so that they are free now to journey all that they can as well. There is no death, only freedom when one chooses to transition over. Breathe that in!

IMG_4209Back in 2000, all I craved was to become a better person. I became a seeker of the written word in all forms, religions, beliefs, and practices. I knew that there had to be more to life. I believed that I was to share something with the world. I had an inner wisdom waiting to ignite. I felt this in my heart and soul.

I started a journey that has been amazing, difficult, filled with love, teachers and amazing women and men. I doubted at times as well! Who was I but a wife and mother when I awakened to my spirituality. Still, I moved forward open to all that was. Eager to know who I was and where I was to go.

“Pause. Listen for the whispers of your Soul. Soul quietly flows through every part of you.” -Nancy Langston

Now all these years later, I have decided to ‘pause’ at this time and see what my next step will be. In the past, I seemed to be experiencing an unknown force taking me from this interest to that teaching, year after year; books, workshops, retreats, online classes, teachers and faraway travels.

It all began in 1988, this urge to know! Today, at the end of 2017, change surrounds me. I have experienced being a Reiki Master, Certified Holistic Health Counselor, Metaphysical Practioner, Energy Healer, a self-published Author, and blogger. I have personally offered workshops, healing circles and retreats. There have been many studies that I have undertaken and many that I have not. Today, I ‘pause!’

I am honored to be a daughter, wife, mother, grandmother, and friend but, that is not all I am to be. There is an inner call to know my truth, live it and share all that I can to help raise my vibration and your vibration. We are all here as beings of love, to live our truth and lift each other up to be the best we can be and to be of service. Attaching each other to forgiveness is essential.

“Life is a dash. Pause in the present. Enjoy this moment.” – J.R. Rim

I encourage you to take a moment and ‘pause’ this day … We as a society need to release what no longer serves us and to slow down by sitting with ourselves in silence to know what is our next step on the path of our lives … so, pause!

-Where are you?
-Where do you want to go?
-Are you living your truth?
-Do you know what your truth is?

I, too will ‘pause,’ in the New Year to go within, read spiritual books, meditate, journal and bond with Mother Nature. I pray that you join me so that 2018 can be the best year of our lives.

Pray. Meditate. Journal.

www.LindaAmato.com

BEING GRATEFUL … I AM THANKFUL!

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I am filled with awe for the life we as humans are experiencing. It’s a very exciting/emotional time. With the holidays approaching, I look forward to the decorations, music, brisk fresh air and snow. My heart skips a beat when I see the first snowfall each year. There is such a joy in the memories from my childhood and my children growing up. Now I am blessed to have grandchildren to play in the snow with.

What are the main reasons one is thankful for anything at this time of year? I always wonder at the happiness but yet sadness that travels this path during the season. Like many, I too have lost people who have transitioned home. Today, I recall the memories I shared with them and I feel grateful that we shared years and for those times we laughed together. All of our minds are filled with pictures of what was and how happy or sad we have been with certain people.

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A disease is the hardest to bear. A sudden death, so unexpected knocks one to the floor. A suicide makes us question and ask why of the universe? We cry, scream and suffer from the moment of death because of what will not be. I like to imagine and celebrate the life that was! Knowing that there is a reason that everything happens in the world, I am grateful for all those who I have travelled this path and journey with whether for years or for a short time. It is the memories which I am thankful for this Thanksgiving!

The holidays are for the children, family, gift giving and generosity. It is a joyous time for all as we fill our hearts with love for mankind and those we share our lives with. Forgiveness is key to what was but is not now possible for many. Go into your photo book in your mind and fill with glee at those happy times of yesterday. The silly times where you were excited, joyful and laughing. We all have them…

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This year I would like to bless all that have lost a loved one through the act of a hurricane, earthquake, terrorists attack, suicide, natural causes, cancer or any other disease or mass killing of any kind. Let us join together in prayer for them and for us. Set a candle in celebration for their life this year during the holidays and forgive those who are now free by their own hands. May they all rest in peace as we pray for them.

We are one in life and in death. We are one through the years. We are one in every country on this planet. We are capable of love towards each other if we just look at all that we have to be grateful for and thankful for at this moment in time. Peace of mind, love in our hearts, kindness on our lips, and forgiveness of ourselves and others will bring joy to each one of us.

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There was a time years ago, when the crack in my heart opened wider and wider. Death, depression, fear, and abuse dragged me to the ground. Now as I look back, I see that we as a society are here to be the best we can be. To take the lessons learned and thrive.To be of service, to become our truth. To live our dream and to let others live theirs.

Meditation is the tool that can rescue everyone from their cracked heart. Simple to just sit but difficult to incorporate into ones life daily. I tell many to meditate and they say they do not know how. I cannot imagine starting my day without this amazing comfort of silence in my mind connected to spirit. During this time of year, if there is sadness in your life, despair of any kind, even fear go to www.DeborahKing.com  and learn how to meditate with your own personal mantra. Trust me you will be thankful that you did.

I struggle no more! I fear no more! I despair no more! I am peace! I am love! I am joy! That is the beauty of meditation and I am thankful for being guided to have known, I needed to sit in silence yesterday, today and tomorrow. Being grateful. Being thankful. One needs to go through their mind at the end of the day and reflect on those they were with, those they spoke to, their actions and words. Then take a breath and rejoice in the life experience they have manifested. I am grateful! I am thankful! Three words that make a difference as you go to sleep.

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It matters not the news, radio, television or what others say that fill you with fear. There is nothing to fear, there is only love to be embraced, to be thankful for. We are connected by the earth we all walk, the water that flows for all to use, the fire in the sky that beams down on us when the sun warms us, and the air that we breathe. Be thankful for these elements that join us as a family of one no matter what is going on in our lives. Try desperately to remember and use as a mantra, Love is all there is!

Pray! Meditate! Journal!

www.LindaAmato.com

 

 

What Do You Believe? IS HUMANITY’S SADNESS ANCIENT?

“Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back…” – Arthur Rubinstein

What does this mean?
Do we all carry buried grief from lifetimes lived?
Is the sadness within that fills our heart and daily thoughts from ancient times?
How do we survive in today’s world with sadness that is of grief from another lifetime?
Is this what the word ancient means to you? To me?
How old is your sadness?
How old is my sadness?
How old is the grief we carry in our hearts?
Is this sadness born of our emotions?

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Our arms are one with our hearts, and it is this place that is our fourth chakra within our bodies. As well as our circulatory system, lungs, ribs, breasts, and shoulders. Sadness and grief stem from our heart as the demon of the fourth chakra is grief. Lifetime after lifetime it is our chakras that are the blueprint to our souls.

Babies cry at a very early age – why? Is the sadness they carry from their past lifetimes unable to be released today? Are we born over and over again to finally be beings of love? To release the fears and anguish we hold towards others today? Do you believe in reincarnation?

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty…” – Mohandas K. Gandhi

Questions? There are always questions to be answered!

As we struggle through difficult times can it be that the soul has a memory of the grief we lived through in all our lifetimes? Is it even possible that the emotions that we feel today as sadness is from another lifetime and triggered today in this life experience? When we have an illness of any kind in these areas of our heart, we must go within and reflect on why? Is any of the sadness we carry today our truth? Is it in any way necessary?

Breast cancer, lung cancer, are all part of the fourth chakra, our heart. Hand pain, carpal tunnel syndrome all part of this chakra. Do you believe that you are not loved? Are you grieving? Are you sad? Ask yourself why? Journal on how you think, speak and feel daily. If after three days you wake up miserable, and very unhappy, you need to make a change in your life.

“All human beings are interconnected, one with all other elements in creation…” – Henry Reed

Grief is our sadness because of the pain we felt at any given moment in time.

Why do we choose to carry sadness forward in all lifetimes!
How does one release the grief?
How does one release the sadness?
How does one release the pain?

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Let’s think about this ancient grief that stirs within us at any given moment. This grief is sadness that eats at our core which most likely is not even ours. Grief creates pain within our hearts that we cling to. Why? What has been done cannot be undone!

Can it be that our ancestors have gifted us with what we call today fear, pain, and sadness? Where does it come from that we still are affected by it today? Will we do the same to our children and grandchildren? Why do we not release it now? How do we release it?

Is it time for us as parents to look at life differently when it comes to our children? Can we wonder of their sadness and why they cry and act as they do? What is bothering them that we are unaware of? What are their fears? What is their pain?

Sadness for me is the memory of unjust, prejudiced, judgmental, mean, unkind and an unloving humanity towards each other. Is it possible for us as a society of humans to release the hate, anger, and fighting amongst ourselves? And if we do, say one day wake up to being the beings of love we are, will that erase the sadness and grief that we carry? That I also carry! That my children and grandchildren carry? As we are one, how can I heal to help you heal?

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity…” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Have I after lifetimes of suffering as a human by hate or love attached myself to this pain and sorrow forever? If I heal myself will that heal you also? Since we are all one all it would take is for us to offer kindness and forgiveness towards those we share our lives with daily. Maybe even towards strangers would help heal us all.

In today’s world, there are many acts of violence and deaths of loved ones that stir the mind and heart to deep sadness and pain. We have no answers to the many acts of violence, terrorism, and killings that happen in the moment. Even our weather is stirring up fear, sadness, and pain. We have become troubled by the thought that fills our minds of, what is going to happen next?

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AFFIRM: I am choosing now, this day to release the sadness within and eliminate the grief that connects me to free myself and to free all of the humans that suffer from the nastiness of life. The nastiness of life is the unjust, unkind, hateful, mean words and actions any of us project onto another. May I forgive those who harm me, as well as, those I have harmed. May we all celebrate the lives lived that have been taken too soon. May I know in my heart that there is a reason for everything that happens in this world. Today, I release that which no longer serves me.

“Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process.” – Anne Wilson Schaef

Let us choose not to be sad but to embrace that we are born as beings of love, and it is now the time to open our hearts to one another. We must stop the negativity, unkind words, ugly remarks, criticism, and anger towards each other. It is now the time and age in life where it must be a choice within our hearts that life is a place of living, learning and loving one another. To move forward away from sadness, fear and pain we must embrace love and offer love towards all. Awareness and forgiveness are essential to moving forward and not getting stuck in our past or centered on our future.

As we come together in times of attack and hateful situations that harm those we love, may we open our hearts always in all situations! Why must we wait for an act of violence to join as loving humans helping one another? We are beings of love first. Choose today to offer prayers and forgiveness, as you open your heart with love for all of life.

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Why not choose to think before we speak, react with love in all situations, stop trying to control one another and let others live their life as they want as long as they are not choosing to hurt themselves or anyone else. Now is the moment to stop being critical and judgmental of one another no matter what the circumstance.

The sadness I carry within, and you carry as well, is the essence of all that we are witness to in life that is not of love. Let us choose love!

Pray. Meditate. Journal.
www.LindaAmato.com
www.MakingBelievers.wordpress.com

 

 

The Ultimate Guide to Processing Loss

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There is sadness, and an ache for all that will never be. The loss is part of life as change is the process. Nothing ever stays the same. We live, and we die. We discover, and we make choices. Sometimes they are excellent choices and sometimes they are not. My thought is about processing the loss we experience. The only thing that is constant in all our lives is change.

“Mostly it is the loss which teaches us about the worth of things.” – Arthur Schopenhauer

The loss of our loved ones, the loss of our relationships, our jobs and even the loss of our pets. Terrorism is a loss, as well as drastic changes in our weather, fire, and hurricanes. There is a loss where a person you love cannot find their place in life and ends up as a loss to themselves and others. They only are fighting a battle that they cannot win unless they incorporate change into their existence.

Life can be dark. Life can be scary and feel unsafe for some. The loss is that which we cannot release as the pain seeps deep into our mind and body. We get that lump in our throats when triggered by another’s loss. We know our loss, and we feel their loss. How do we deal with these nightmares in our lives? The loss we feel is simply the horror that we experience or one we anticipate.

Tears need to fall. Tears are required to stream down our face and wet our lips as we process the pain of loss. Does it matter what type of damage there is? No! What is important is that we handle the loss and deal with the pain through meditation, prayer, journaling, and by embracing Mother Nature.

“Grief is NOT a disorder, a disease or sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.” – Earl Grollman

To embrace Mother Nature, we stroll through the streets of our neighborhood, walk through a park, sit in the sand at the beach. We need to breathe in the essence of her beauty to heal the heart that is wounded. Her vision will allow us to taste the salt air on our lips as the sun warms our face! To be grounded in the presence of Mother Nature will heal us. As we heal others will heal as well.

Many years ago when I was struggling with a loss of self actually, it was a daily walk outside and at the beach that comforted me. I felt connected to something that was bigger than me. I felt loved by the beauty of nature. It took me some time to heal and find that I could love me as I am. There was no loss anymore sitting within. I grew from the experience of this as we all can grow from any loss that we allow to shut us down.

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Death is a significant loss of life for everyone. I have decided to stop counting the deaths in my life experience. I cannot imagine how much more will come. As I cannot choose who lives or dies, it is my freedom to accept that change, loss and death are part of the game. I believe that we are eternal beings, so there is no death just a transition from this life to the other side of the veil.

“No one ever really dies as long as they took the time to leave us with fond memories.” – Chris Sorensen

The process of life and death which equals loss is to grieve as long as is necessary. To cry, go to bed but for no longer than 48 hours with the covers over our head. Disconnect from life for a few days and feel the pain. Journal. Meditate. Pray. It will help us and those we are grieving if we pray for them. There is no set time to grieve. We must grieve those we lose to their transition. I always imagine that life and death is a tremendous plan we incorporate in the spirit world before we arrive as part of the game of life.

I recall, years ago when my brother died my mom wore black for two years. In looking back, my grandmother wore black all of her life because of the deaths of her many children. Was it a way of showing the world, ‘I am in pain.’ ‘I am grieving a loss.’ ‘I am sad.’ Today we seem to jump right back into our lives and forget to stop and mourn. To breathe in the death and loss of someone we loved is extremely necessary. Eventually, illness will surface if we do not take the time to grieve our loss.

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Life has a blanket around each of us that is comforting at times, but at other moments it seems not to be able to keep us warm. It can be itchy or too thin! The drama in our lives that surround a loss is the sadness of the heart for that which will never be. Can we scream and beat ourselves up for something that we have no control over. No! Can we blame ourselves for something we have no control over when something or someone comes to its end? No!

The loss we all experience is part of life as we change and grow into our awareness. It matters not the type of loss but that we take the time to feel the pain. We need to reflect on our lives and our loves. We will heal from that which has changed because our lives are all eternal.

Loss of self is the hardest for the person and those around them. To not understand because of confusion, to change ever so slowly on a daily basis because the mind is confused. The onset of dementia creeps into an entire families world not only the victim of said illness. Dementia changes the mind as well as the way the person acts because the memory begins to fade. It is almost as if they do not even know if they spoke or not. The sadness that surfaces are coupled with anger because they do not know if they spoke out loud, inside their heads or did not speak at all. It must feel as if they are going insane to them.

“It all goes away. Eventually, everything goes away.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

Years can pass by and still there is something different, but no one can grasp the significance of dementia that is creeping into their lives. We as a society expect those we love, as they age to have loss of memory. However, loss of memory and dementia are different because of the confusion that sets in as well. It is not a matter of where I put the keys but more about what are the keys for with dementia.

All loss fills us with pain. All loss is sad. All loss at one time or another will touch all of our lives. The loss of our lives is part of the game of life. We simply need to become aware and prepare ourselves that loss is possible. The loss we get to experience is part of life!

Pray! Meditate! Juornal!

www.LindaAmato.com

 

 

HE WAS MY DAD …

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“I thank you for your part in my journey…”

As the only daughter of my dad, I cherished him. Today, I miss him and his wisdom. I imagine he did not have an easy childhood and one I cannot ever imagine. Born in 1927, he lived until 1998 when he died of lung cancer. He was 70 years old. His struggles were many.

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Abandonment, alcoholism, and mental illness. Dad grew up during a time that I was unaware of but heard of; that his mom at 16 gave birth to him and then left him on a stoop at the age of four. That is where his issue with abandonment took off. His father’s sisters raised him. He grew up with hand me down clothes and toys from his cousins! He never felt loved. His dad who worked on the docks of New York City was never there for him.

He told me of working nights at American Beverage Soda Company and how they wanted to give him a 25 cents raise once, but he felt he was not smart enough to be a manager. For 25 cents though, dad could get a can of soda and a sandwich he said. He liked beer at an early age was drunk lots of times but happy at those times, it seemed to me. I had no clue these episodes were what today is called ‘dysfunctional.’

“I thank you for being the reason I smile …”

As a child, I only knew what went on in my house and had no idea of what a normal, happy home life I did not have. Fear was part of daily existence when he was drinking, but the memories I choose to cherish are when he was not drinking. There is ugliness in life, but we can eliminate that which does not serve us today. We can pick what we want to remember. I felt loved by him, and that is the greatest of my memories.

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He sang drunk at weddings, and my mom would drag me into the ladies bathroom and hide because she was embarrassed. Alcoholism would be passed down to him from his family. And so the story moves forward. Married young to my mom, they would raise my brother and me to the best of their ability.

I was blessed to have missed the gene of addiction. I feel all through life our connection was about his wisdom and how I decided somehow at a young age to love my dad unconditionally. I felt he was the way he was because of his childhood. Today I know we all have our stories and in sharing them, we may help another. I trust that the Universe waits for our reaction to the experiences during life and how we decide to live our lives. Choosing love or fear is always our free will in all situations.

The mental illness did not arrive until he was forty years old when he heard voices to murder his family. Instead, he slashed his left wrist and neck. Years later, he told me he could not see himself harming me. He would laugh and say if he had murdered all of us, he would have served 25 years in prison and then would have been free. I guess he never felt free in life and that troubled him. He survived his attempt at suicide but was deformed and never worked again.

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I was heartbroken to the depths of my soul, my mom was terrified, and my brother started his addiction process. The journey began with him going in and out of mental institutions like Creedmore State Psychiatric Hospital, and different psychiatric wards. I was there for him with my husband for thirty years after my mom finally divorced him. He nicknamed me ‘mom’ and ‘author,’ and we would laugh about this. He always adored me and wished his mom was more like me. The reason he called me ‘author,’ was because he wanted me to tell his story. He was very interested in human behavior and all the people who were ill that he met throughout his life. He believed that there was a reason for everything that happens.

The lung cancer that killed him had started 58 years before he died. Through it all he loved life. He worshiped Mother Nature and her beauty. He was addicted to her ocean, pools, and parks. He never drove a car and walked everywhere or took mass transit. He was wise, fun and wanted to be loved. It was my job to love him, and I did with my entire heart and soul. This Father’s Day he is gone nineteen years, and I think of him often. Individual songs that he sang when he was drinking pop on in the strangest of places at restaurants, and we say, ‘hi!’ I smile in acknowledgment of his presence.

“Dear Past, thank you for all the life lessons you have taught me …”

“Dear Future, I am ready now …”

His life may have been traumatic, but it never allowed him to feel sorry for himself. He loved music; all kinds, playing cards, whistling, worshiping the sun, walking outside and listening to the radio. Movies and Elvis Presley and other stars of his era were his favorites. These are my memories of a man who I had chosen to be my dad, and I would like to thank him for being the best dad ever.

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LOVE IS ALL THERE IS…

His love of me allowed me to feel cherished and special even though he was scorned by many as a mentally ill person in our society. There is sadness in how his battle in life was to encourage me to be the woman I am today and what a sacrifice he chose for me. I am his proud daughter because of him. I am who I am today because of him.

As a society, we need to accept everyone’s story and embrace one another with kindness and love. It is not difficult to be there for another who you have manifested as a being in your life for a reason. We are born to learn from one another as well as teach one another during our life experiences. Was it easy at times, no! But! He was my dad!

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is “Thank You,” it will be enough …”

Happy Father’s Day to the many fathers with their issues, addictions and unbalanced behaviors. Please know that, you are loved!

Pray! Meditate! Journal!
www.LindaAmato.com

THE WONDER OF MAGIC = PLAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME …

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Daily I awaken to the wonder that surrounds my existence. Feeling blessed for all the experiences I have journeyed through in life. I am aware that not everyone believes as I do. I wonder why? As I travel forward on a ride that has filled me to many levels of emotions, I smile at the memories. Like a cup, my cup has been filled and drained over and over again. Good times, sad times, turbulent times, but in the end an invisible force has lifted me beyond whatever I was struggling through magically.

“If you enjoy living, it is not difficult to keep the sense of wonder.” – Ray Bradbury

My grandson Hudson asked me, “What is magic?” Life is the magic of course, but six grand babies under the age of eight are clueless to life as I have seen it. To witness my childhood is impossible for them. Even when I tell them how I love my iPhone, iPad, and MacBook. They know of no other way. A year before my first grandson Hunter James was born the first iPhone was also born. It was a magical time for me taking pictures of him. Magic! Is this not all magic, I ask? When I open my car by touching the door handle, I smile, this is magic. Then I start my car without a key, but that which is a key sits in my pocketbook. Pure magic!

IMG_0360When my daughters and grandchildren FaceTime me, I laugh, this is magic. Recently, my daughter Jess was in Vietnam and texted me a message and posted photos on Facebook and Instagram. Hello, is this not magic! When I wake up in Florida and go to sleep in New York the same day, this is magic. When I watch my daughter or son hug their children, I experience the deepest magic of love swelling and opening my heart. As I become witness to life growing and moving us all forward to greatness. There are numerous magical happenings in life all around everyone. We choose to accept it all and not be amazed at the wonder of it all. Stop taking life for granted! Fill yourself with wonder and look for the magic in your daily life.

“He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.” – M. C. Escher

Aware of energy the way that I am, I marvel at the sadness and darkness that has befallen so many of us. Fear is evident in our world. We fear our country and our lives. We fear what tomorrow will bring. We fear what tomorrow will not bring. We fear what we will loose. We fear what we will gain. Please listen to me there is no magic in fear. Love carries the jewel of magic. Love feeds the soul magically. Love opens doors. Love lets in the light and eliminates the darkness. Love is the foundation of magic. Love is that part of us that trusts that there is a reason for everything. Love is the key to our raising our consciousness.

There is no reason for anyone of us to worry. Just choose to believe that which will set you free because you trust there is a Divine Intelligence. Whether you believe in God, a Creator, Angels, Saints or not there is an essence bigger than any of us. There is some Divine Intelligence that we are all connected to as one. This Divine Intelligence is a field that surrounds us daily even if we are unaware. Many of us are still asleep, and there is no wonder in our lives. We cling to the negative, the darkness that we adhere to is only to survive because we refuse to change our thoughts, words or actions.

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“As long as I’m still moving in that direction – toward wonder – then I know I will always be fine in my soul, which is where it counts. And since creativity is still the most effective way for me to access wonder, I choose it.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

When we pay attention to our dreams and ask for a message at night magic becomes part of our existence. Many say, “I never dream!” Not true! You do dream you just do not remember it or choose not to remember it. Right before you close your eyes for sleep, go into your mind and revisit your day and be grateful for everyone you traveled with through this day. Then ask; “What do I need to know?” Now go to sleep! The message in a dream is the magic of your life.

 

At times I battle the human part, my ego self and I feel less attached to a magical life. Then my spiritual part awakens me to my God-self, and I smile once again at the wonder of magic in my life. I am blessed because I can now tell the difference between the fight or even why there is to be an inner battle. I know that the ego loves to roar and throw me off track. When my ego succeeds, I feel off. It almost seems as if I am tested to feed that human part of me. It is that part that I refuse to continue to nourish. That humanity part of me has guided me to where I am today because it awakened the soul part that rested silently waiting for the right time to emerge magically. My journey is soul-infused by choice. My choices attach me to a magical existence because I believe there is magic throughout my day.

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

When we meditate daily, we magically surrender to all life offers us. Magic is the wonder that escapes the negative. The negative person clings to their fear and doubt of self because they have been programmed to grow up, be an adult, to work, to strive for more. There is no magic in living a negative life because of fear and doubt. As children, we were all filled with wonder and play. What is the greatest memory of that moment where you played? That moment where you roared with laughter, joy and complete happiness. The very time that you forgot about fear.

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My greatest moments growing up was being outside climbing a tree, swimming, reading a good book and writing in my journal. Reading a book was play for me. Books were wonder, excitement, laughter, joy and happiness. Finally, I have returned to hours of the magic of my childhood. I no longer climb a tree, but I do hug them. Even as I type at this very moment a smile escapes my lips and my eyes light up at the wonder of my MacBook Air as I move my fingers across the magical keyboard that places my words on a screen. Yes! I am having fun! Writing is – Pure magic!

 

MEDITATE! PRAY! JOURNAL!

www.LindaAmato.com

THE MEMORY OF HER HANDS

 

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“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage…” – Lao Tzu

I am amazed at the thoughts and images that pop into my mind since the passing of my mom. It is shattering to realize the truth of death, the final vision of the person I loved. It is three months the day after Mother’s Day as her ashes sit on my mantel. Her wish to be placed in the water on the way out East that we travel in our boat. Still, I am not ready to let her go again. It comforts me her being here even if it is just her ashes. This process is a sharp cut to my heart; death, ashes, placing them in the water! Emotionally even if in my heart I know she stands right by me on the other side of the veil.

“Children are the anchors that hold a mother to life.” – Sophocles

For some reason, it is her hands that I remember most. I can picture in my mind her slender fingers, manicured nails. Later in life, she would hold her index fingers up crippled from arthritis. So crooked she would tell me they hurt as she tried to straighten them but couldn’t. I can remember we held hands whenever we were walking side by side somewhere. Our fingers laced together – her fingers so cool to the touch I now recall.

As her daughter, I am witness to seeing her in me at times. A flash of insight or quick look or glance in a mirror as I walk pass. I smile at these times to myself, that yes I am her child. Sometimes the simple way I sit when watching television or drink from a cup recalls to mind a picture of her. She was twenty years older than me. I can remember her as an amazingly young woman at heart.

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Since her transition, I have been delving into my life growing up with her as my mom. I’ve asked a few questions of myself and have come to know some interesting aspects of her and who I was to her before the onset of dementia. As a metaphysical practitioner, I know of the power we possess to manifest our lives by our thoughts, words, and actions. We are powerful in manifesting everything we want and do not want in our daily lives. We do not realize the strength of our personal beliefs.

Metaphysically dementia’s probable cause and belief is a refusal to deal with the world as it is. Hopelessness and anger. If only my mom had chosen to believe she was in her perfect place and that she was safe, I wonder how free she would have been of her nightmares all of these years. Her anger was part of her fear that she imagined due to the losses in her life.

I only recall the stories she chose to share of her childhood, her belief in God and for years her nightly reciting of the rosary. Not having a wealthy upbringing and being one of nine children during a very different time in life than how she raised me, I praise her today for doing the best she knew how under the circumstances.

“Many of our fears are tissue paper thin and a single courageous step would carry us through them.” – KMH

She survived it all; fear, alcoholism, abuse and death until she could no longer close her eyes and be witness to the pain anymore. Dementia crept in slowly at first until she was no longer the woman I knew her to be. It is a slower death to the person and the family then choosing to die. I write choosing because I believe we choose our life experiences and all that we want to learn in life from our parents, our children, the place of birth, family and friends as well.

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We are born to love, heal and grow our souls. To love unconditionally all, to forgive, awaken to our truth and our freedom. However, many of us like my mom become frozen in the depths of their fear – their past. They cherish what never was possible because of death, and then cling to their pain daily and stay in the mindset of fear. For many the greatest of fears is death!

“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?” – Henry David Thoreau

My mom never knew of her greatness. Her entire being became engulfed with too much fear of life and what it could do to her. I saw as a young girl how terrified she was of my dad and how she finally had to walk away from the fear after twenty-five years. When my brother was killed suddenly by a drunk driver on his way home from work, she began her descent into escaping from this world as she knew it. The pain was unbearable, and her grief took her away from my family and me when she chose to leave New York and move back to her hometown in Puerto Rico.

At first, I felt abandoned, actually for years I felt that she left me. Today, I know it was her grief that she tried to get away from and it had nothing to do with me. Recently, my son told me that he felt that she abandoned him and his siblings as well as, me twenty-six years ago, I was surprised! It is during these types of a moment that forgiveness comes into play. I believe she did what she needed to do at the time to survive the pain. It never helps to take anything someone else does personally. Many have trouble speaking their truth and fear is part of the anxiety of their day. It is all they know and cannot express their feelings. I believe this was true of my mom.

“Motherhood is … difficult and … rewarding …” – Gloria Estefan

 

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Recently, I have been thinking about my life with my mom and my thoughts about her as a mom. Today, I know she did the best that she could, and my favorite memory of her was her childish behavior at times and holding hands with her whenever we walked somewhere. I would like to say to her that I understand and I know she loved me in her way but could not handle the pain and fear. I no longer feel abandoned by her actions to move away from my family and me. The greatest sadness I felt at her passing was that she had never met my six grandchildren. Then I think to myself can this be part of the plan that we agreed to at one time in spirit form. It matters not anymore because it is in the past and can never be any other way. I must stay in the present! To do so, I must live out my dreams. These were her choices and as her daughter I respect them. Fear was her choice for her entire life. Had she chosen Love things would have been different. There are not many choices but only two that we all get to choose from. Ask yourself how do you choose to live your life? Is it with fear or love? Fear is the roar of your ego from within. Love is the whisper of God from within. Choose wisely!

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

At this time in my life as a wife, mother, mother-in-law and grandmother I thank my mom for all that I learned from her. I am who I am today because of her choices. I discovered my truth, my passion and who I want to show to the world as a spiritual being bursting with unconditional love to share. There was a time twelve years ago when I asked her to come back to New York and live with me. She refused! She believed she would ruin my marriage and her fears would destroy her and me. That was when dementia climbed into her mind and settled in for the journey. I thank God for this life experience with my mom, and I am forever grateful that I chose her.

Today, as a woman, I am blessed to know I have always been able to live by my strength and beliefs. I feel sad that my mom never knew how strong she was and that she loved me unconditionally and I had never realized it before. I always believed that I was a teacher to my children as all moms are. I was setting an example which I hope today they can realize themselves. Mothering a child is about unconditional love because loving them as they are is key to their fulfillment.

“Motherhood: All love begins and ends there.” – Robert Browning

My mom never tried to change me, nor did she try to influence me in any way to be different than I was. I can hear her voice if I close my eyes and listen to how proud she was of me as a mom and wife. I am happy to write that was a great lesson for me to learn from her. Today, during this month of May when we celebrate our mothers, I wish to say to mine, “thank you, mom!” Take a moment and say this simple prayer as well … “thank you, mom!”

 

Pray! Meditate! Journal!

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