The Reflection

She walked past the window and out of the corner of her eye she did not recognize herself. She trembled at her reflection. She felt like picking up a stone and flinging it at the window. Then she looked again and there she was. Her eyes were beckoning to her to look deeper.

“Sometimes, you have to look back in order to understand the things that lie ahead.” – Yvonne Woon

She took a deep breath and stood perfectly still as she looked into the window and her life. It flashed right before her eyes at her reflection. Slowly the tears began to fall. The sudden deaths, miscarriages, and divorces she had experienced. The pain of abuse, abandonment, and addiction.

Of course, she had to change. Those memories had to change how she looked to the world unless someone was to look genuinely at her. What would they see? She looked into her eyes and saw her inner self-hanging on by her fingertips. She heard the voice, ‘help me!” As she wiped away a tear, she smiled and walked away!

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In that instant, the door opened to grasp the lessons that were evident in her life. Recently she had discovered that there is a reason for everything that happens in life through this power many have called manifestation. Along the way, there seemed because of this power of expression that there are no mistakes in life. We actually as humans manifest and create our existence by our thoughts, words, and actions. We have superpowers!

“Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.” -Roy T. Bennett

Kindness was the word she reflected on at this moment. All she could gather was that people did not know how to be kind. Why? So she decided to be kind to everyone even strangers. What harm could come from a smile, a hello, maybe just a thank you? She started her mission that very day and was amazed that people were receptive.

It dawned on her that people were engulfed daily in their personal stories. As she reflected on this thought, she agreed because had she not also held her story close to her heart. Today, she realized anyone could change their story. There was a time where she felt the pain and sorrow daily. Not ever realizing that all she had to do is to leave the despair in the past.

She began to embrace that inner self, her inner child that had been hanging on and asked for help. She started to pay attention to those she shared her life. As she traveled to different celebrations and met many people while talking to them, she observed: that there were two kinds of people. Like her in the past, there were many filled with fear. While others mostly were happy and chose to love.

She wanted to learn how to choose love forever and ever. The journey began on that day as she searched through books, courses, retreats, and workshops to discover a new way of being. To change, forgive and release her story. In learning all about the central fear of self that stemmed from the ego, she would also determine where the self of love was. It was a simple two-step belief: choose fear or choose love.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” -Paulo Coelho

Thinking back to the reflection of herself in the window, she realized she had been filled with fear her entire life. So she asked herself what was she afraid of most of her life? All her worries had begun in her childhood and were not of her belief system today. Cellular memories could be triggered in any situation and pop up right there, and then, and fear would rise she recalled. If there was to be no fear anymore then like her, anyone could change their story. In her heart, she believed that anything was possible.

Today, she knew deep within that there is no reason to fear. Now she looked at the choice of love which was a connection to the self within which is one’s Spirit. She knew that once connected to the Spirit of Self; love was the only option to choose. Spirit has no fear. Spirit is Love. Instead of allowing memory to surface from the past as a trigger all she had to do was embrace the choice of love no matter what was going on because fear is not real.

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Amazingly, she wanted to travel this path and journey in life by choosing only love. She decided to think up a process to do so. Maybe a type of plan to follow she imagined? After all taking action is vital to change as she learned by making decisions with her heart and being logical about this process of life we as humans experience.

How does one connect to their Spirit of Self, she wondered? She took pen to paper after mediating and began with how she changed her life to be free of fear and only to choose love. Knowing today that it was a challenge and that she struggled for years merely to believe that she could.

“One should eat to live, not live to eat.” -Benjamin Franklin

Here is the plan, to taking action, while opening your heart and making logical decisions in life:
1. Speak words of love that are positive and affirm them often.
2. Learning to meditate and sit in silence while going within.
3. Writing in a journal as an act to process the past, forgive, and release it.
4. Setting goals down in a book that begins as affirmative sentences of who you are and how you want to live.
5. Creating Sacred Space in the home, with incense, candles, crystals, and essential oils where the essence and energy of the divine could enter.
6. Journeying outside and embracing the beauty of Mother Nature.
7. Reading of Spiritual books to enlighten the heart to open as to how the ways of ritual and how our ancestors believed.
8. Consuming healthy organic raw foods, superfoods, super herbs and fewer animal products, and more plant-based meals as part of daily consumption.

Meditate. Pray. Journal.
www.LindaAmato.com

What Right Have You Discarded Because of Abuse​?

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Abuse is prevalent in our society and many of our hearts are broken, dis-eased (breast, lung, thymus disorders plus asthma and immune system deficiency)  because we are in pain by a person who claims to love us. We choose especially, as women to give our POWER and OUR RIGHTS away in the name of love?

We have a chakra system within. Which are the blueprint for our soul! Our heart is the fourth chakra and ‘Our right to love and be loved.’ As well as being the bridge between the lower and upper chakras.

  • Chakra One – ‘Our right to be here’
  • Chakra Two – ‘Our right to feel’
  • Chakra Three – ‘Our right to act’
  • Above the heart Chakra Five – ‘Our right to be heard’
  • Chakra Six ‘Our right to see’
  • Chakra Seven ‘Our right to know.’

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” – Oscar Wilde

When our chakras are balanced, it is our right to experience the following:
– Chakra 1 / Our foundation (base of spine), we feel safe, secure and comfortable in our physical body.
– Chakra 2 / Our sensation (sacral), we feel sensual, passionate, emotional and fluid.
– Chakra 3 / Our identity/power (solar plexus), we are action-oriented, self-assured and courageous.
– Chakra 4 / Our relationships (heart) are compassionate, loving and harmonious
– Chakra 5 / Our resonance (throat), is expressive, creative and we are communicative
– Chakra 6 / Our insight (third eye/brow), is intuitive, imaginative and perceptive
– Chakra 7 / Our understanding (crown), is wise, transcendent, visionary, open-minded, intelligent and thoughtful.

Let us journey into the wounded/closed unbalanced heart chakra. It is the beautiful color of emerald-green. There are many different kinds of hearts in our society; some become damaged by fear, guilt, shame, grief, lies, anger, and hate. Some are chipped at daily by the act of mental abuse, betrayal and physical abuse from a loved one. To heal the heart, we first must examine our belief around self-love and self-acceptance. Forgiveness begins with ourselves and where appropriate towards others.

“All abuses traumatize the heart chakra as they betray love.”  – Anodea Judith

Our hearts suffer even from movies, the radio, and newspapers when we hear of killings and violence toward our fellow humanity. The abuse towards our planet bruises our hearts, as well as tornadoes, hurricanes, and forest fires. Our hearts are sensitive to what we are connected to daily whether it be by sight, sound, touch, emotional or spiritual. Sometimes in conversation one can become triggered by another. A flashback to a time when words by a loved one hurt.

If any chakra is out of balance, it is due to the act of neglect, abuse, grief and not feeling loved which affects our heart. We as a society, as parents, siblings, friends, lovers are strong. We are powerful! Our power stems from our thoughts, words, and actions. We are unaware of the damage that is done by the apparent abuse of our words towards someone we claim to love which if unkind, is a form of abuse.

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Parents are influential. They can heal or harm a child that grows into an adult. Words are like swords in our heart! Painful memories in our soul! Sometimes this hurt and pain travel lifetimes with many of us. A wounded, closed heart stems from becoming detached, and refusing to change or grow towards a joyful destination in life as a human.

“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.”  – William Shakespeare

Everyone is aware of that feeling while lying in bed when we feel an inner ache in our chest. Deep in our heart area because a loved one of ours is experiencing abuse of some kind, has a dis-ease, or has transitioned over. There is no reason for such pain in our lives, which can be healed by beginning to choose love. Peace can arrive, even if someone is no longer here through prayer and meditation. A loss is a deep pain that fills our heart with sorrow but when we choose to love we will be healed.

I believe those with deep wounds that have closed their hearts carry fear, profound grief, and criticism because they feel unaccepted and are afraid of involvement and commitment. They need to achieve some power over others to feel deserving, right and that they are in control. They may long for tenderness but due to their prior abuse from a loved one have difficulty admitting it. They are looking for approval because they believe that approval means love. What type of disapproval did they experience is the question?

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“Thus children … are confronted by a tormentor they love, not one they hate and this tragic complication will have a devastating influence on their entire subsequent life. ”  – Alice Miller

Another form of abuse is abandonment that does damage to the heart. Not feeling worthy of love, no rules, and no boundaries set the child forward on a path of not believing they are essential. Something happened to these adults in the past that has been buried deep within that they refuse to release. They cling to a form of escape with a wounded, closed heart when it comes to love by not letting in any emotions or feelings to surface. It is their grief, anger, hate, and fear that they feed and nourish daily.

We will never know why but they have never felt loved or worthy of love. They live a life of pain and keep a barrier up to protect themselves. Within their essence is this belief that they are alone, separated and need to defend who they are from others through abuse. It comes down to them choosing a defensive, negative pattern.

When all our chakras are balanced, and we have a healthy heart, there is no dis-ease in the body. There is no addiction, no fear, no guilt, no shame, no grief, no lies, attachment or illusion. As these are the demons of all the chakras starting with Chakra One.

Please ask yourself at this time what demon are you feeding? What is it within you that you are nourishing daily as that demon that you cling to because of something that happened to you yesterday by a loved one. What right have you discarded because of another’s abuse toward you?

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There are lessons in life, and sometimes we are not aware of the teaching until it is too late. Hurting another’s heart willingly, and consciously hurts our heart as well. Kindness, love, and support are the tools we as humans need to strive for in our relationships. If we can open our hearts to know we are worthy of love today because we are born of love our lives will manifest greatness.

After years of having our heart chipped away by abusive words, damage to our psyche and exhaustion to our mind, we hold on tightly to our innocence of self. A discovery of self-opens the door for our freedom to arrive. Sooner or later a wounded, closed heart affects all those around them. No one has the right to take away even one of the seven rights that we are born with as a spiritual being having a human experience. Know you are worthy of love today.

PRAY! MEDITATE! JOURNAL!
BE KIND = BE WELL = CHOOSE LOVE!
www.LindaAmato.com

WHAT IF …

“To love the creations of the Earth is to worship the Being who created them.” -Seth Adam Smith

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I sit here imagining a world that is safe and filled with kindness. I dream of the time where we as a society are living as one in love and joy. Can it be possible that we are on this planet we call Earth, as well as, Mother or Gaia as a place to learn kindness, love, and joy towards one another?
What if, that is the only reason we are born?

If you believe in reincarnation then is it possible that we die to a form of self to be reborn just to try again. Many of us may have lessons to learn, karma to release or just because we want to become a better person. Are we so stubborn that we do not want to change? Can the answer be that it is time to go within and not look outside ourselves?
What if, we are a society that has gotten it all wrong?

“Listen closely. Even the trees exhale sweet love songs that roll off their boughs and echo out to all of creation. Love is always in the air.” – Cristen Rodgers

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Could we have chosen to ignore the intuition that we are all born with, merely to go with the teachings of this society and in doing so have stumbled unto the wrong path? Is the fear and anger that we succumb to part of the plan created as a generational belief lifetime after lifetime?
What if, the fear and anger that we attach ourselves to, is the wrong path?

Are all the hate, terrorist attacks, and killings a wake-up call for every one of us. The weather alone is a sign from our Mother to pay attention to how we are treating one another. Could at this very moment in time be the exact reason we are born finally to learn to live our truth. To go within in prayer, and silence through meditation for the joy that is missing in our lives. To connect to our heart and know our truth.
What if, the place to start is in Mother Nature?

“Put your ears to the ground, to the sky, to the sun and the moon… tune in to Mother Earth’s sweet song. She has messages to say, knowledge to relay, inspiration to convey… there is much for you to learn. Your journey has just begun.” – Melody Lee

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To pay attention to the beauty and bounty that is offered to us daily. To smell our Mother’s fragrance, feel her breath on our cheeks, hear the trees and birds as we sit with her. To be part of her flow at the beach or in a park under the stars at night. Mother Nature has been here way longer than any of us. We abuse her, destroy her, kill parts of her and spit on her face. Why?
What if, now is the time to be ready to live in a world where we feel safe?

I believe the answers lie within each one of us to connect to that inner part we need to be in the arms of Mother Nature daily. We need to walk, sit, lay down and listen to her cries for help. Now we must respect our Mother, and she will respect us back. We have broken away from her and ourselves by filling with fear, guilt, shame, and anger towards each other. We are killing one another! Why?
What if, love towards Mother Nature is the answer to all that is happening in our lives daily?

“Every life matters. Be like Mother Nature and love everyone without judging.” – Debasish Mridha

What if, loving her, we will begin to love one another!
What if, we are capable of such a change and belief in our lifetime to make a difference. If we just try!
What if, today is the day to begin a look within by the act of going outside and spending some time with the only Mother that matters!

Pray! Meditate! Journal!
www.LindaAmato.com
www.MakingBelievers.wordpress.com

LIFE AS AN EXPERIENCE … Fear vs. Love

IMG_4034Our path is a journey of discovery for each of us. We all awaken at a time in our lives when we cannot take the pain any longer. There are many kinds of abuse, but mental abuse is the most difficult because the words spin around in our minds. An ego is a beautiful tool that can repeat words over and over again in our head. However, the words that scream within usually are negative and filled with anger from another.

“Life is a spell so exquisite that everything conspires to break it.” -Emily Dickinson

Fear stems from the root of our ego. We are blessed with this ego to guide us to awaken to the love of self and love of another. The battle within is that the fear believes it is better and knows what is right for another. Love is the opposite, for it is pure and breathes into all the essence of our truth. Once we embrace love as the belief of who we are no one can ever abuse us.

Each of our experiences is different, but if there is pain, tears, fear, and sorrow, then there is a form of abuse from another inflicted onto you. Why does another feel they have such a right to be mean, condescending, even angry at your actions and choices? Can it be they are mad at their choices in life today which have nothing to do with you!

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” -Henry David Thoreau

In the past, I searched for something more… I did not know at the time what I needed, but the universe stepped forward and showed me a different life that was possible. As an avid reader, I always believed I was in search of something, and that was why I read so much. My best friend has always been my journal. Writing helped me to survive through the years growing up and then as a wife and mother.

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I never understood mean people or controlling people who wanted me to be other than who I was. What was wrong with me? My path would take me on this incredible journey of books and teachers that would lead me to an understanding of people and their fears.

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” -Soren Kierkegaard

If I have learned anything, it is that people show you who they are. We as a society try to change one another because it is how we have been raised to believe. Our daily world is changing all around us, and yet we refuse to stop and take inventory of how we are living our lives. Instead, we are concerned with how others are choosing to live.

Abuse of any kind from another is not acceptable ever! Our planet, our home, our mother is feeling the abuse as well. It is our anger towards each other, hate and fear that is spinning her to rebel as well. Love is the essence of our life. Love is the tool to change who we are and to heal ourselves and our world.

I set myself free of those who hurt me by forgiving them and in doing so, I set them free too with love in my heart. I learned the greatest of lessons is that we cannot change anybody else. We can only improve ourselves. I aimed to become a better me. Opening my heart filled with love and acceptance for all is the journey I travel today.

“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” -Marcus Aurelius

Changing oneself opens the door to embrace that which is possible. The reality of this is that we can only change ourselves, it is impossible to change another. As we are one, genuinely connected by all that is others will change and as they do, will see us differently.

Even if others do not understand how we are different, they will know something is not the same. The most significant gift we can offer on those who abuse us is to accept them as they are because that is what we want them to do for us.

Words are the key to many angry outbursts that are not necessarily your truth but as how your abuser sees things. Thank them for their opinion and tell them you will think about their words. Fill your heart with love and move on.

“Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!” -Oscar Wilde

When we as women/men stay true to who we are and drop the defense patterns that no longer serve us, it is at that moment that our world will change for the better. It comes down to trusting God and that there is a process to live. Let go today and Let God do His work!

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When we choose to be kind, loving and accepting of them, knowing they are living in fear and praying for them, allowing them to be as they need to be, we are offering them, love. We must first start with loving whow we are.  It is not the truth of who others are that they show us. They show us their fear.

Some parents believe it is their right to control their children; that their children MUST listen to them even when they are adults. They fear that they are not needed anymore. But, mostly it is a belief that they as the parents, know what is best for their children. It matters not to them that their children are grown and with children of their own. There is never respect in a relationship that travels this path from the parent to the adult child.

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

There was a time where I chose to accept all people as they are because I saw their fears. Look, and you will also see their fears in how they talk to you. It is almost as if they regress to being a child again and in doing so, act like a child today. A sort of temper tantrum. Listen to them, and you will not need to defend yourself. You never need to defend yourself once you are an adult, mother/father as a wife/husband to another if you are loving and kind to all.

Unfortunately, you will never be able to reach who is abusing you. All you can do is change who you are and how you perceive others. When we all choose to love and not fear we drop our patterns of defense because we know love is all there is. Be the being of love you were born as no matter what.

Pray. Meditate. Journal.

www.LindaAmato.com

What Do You Believe? IS HUMANITY’S SADNESS ANCIENT?

“Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back…” – Arthur Rubinstein

What does this mean?
Do we all carry buried grief from lifetimes lived?
Is the sadness within that fills our heart and daily thoughts from ancient times?
How do we survive in today’s world with sadness that is of grief from another lifetime?
Is this what the word ancient means to you? To me?
How old is your sadness?
How old is my sadness?
How old is the grief we carry in our hearts?
Is this sadness born of our emotions?

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Our arms are one with our hearts, and it is this place that is our fourth chakra within our bodies. As well as our circulatory system, lungs, ribs, breasts, and shoulders. Sadness and grief stem from our heart as the demon of the fourth chakra is grief. Lifetime after lifetime it is our chakras that are the blueprint to our souls.

Babies cry at a very early age – why? Is the sadness they carry from their past lifetimes unable to be released today? Are we born over and over again to finally be beings of love? To release the fears and anguish we hold towards others today? Do you believe in reincarnation?

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty…” – Mohandas K. Gandhi

Questions? There are always questions to be answered!

As we struggle through difficult times can it be that the soul has a memory of the grief we lived through in all our lifetimes? Is it even possible that the emotions that we feel today as sadness is from another lifetime and triggered today in this life experience? When we have an illness of any kind in these areas of our heart, we must go within and reflect on why? Is any of the sadness we carry today our truth? Is it in any way necessary?

Breast cancer, lung cancer, are all part of the fourth chakra, our heart. Hand pain, carpal tunnel syndrome all part of this chakra. Do you believe that you are not loved? Are you grieving? Are you sad? Ask yourself why? Journal on how you think, speak and feel daily. If after three days you wake up miserable, and very unhappy, you need to make a change in your life.

“All human beings are interconnected, one with all other elements in creation…” – Henry Reed

Grief is our sadness because of the pain we felt at any given moment in time.

Why do we choose to carry sadness forward in all lifetimes!
How does one release the grief?
How does one release the sadness?
How does one release the pain?

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Let’s think about this ancient grief that stirs within us at any given moment. This grief is sadness that eats at our core which most likely is not even ours. Grief creates pain within our hearts that we cling to. Why? What has been done cannot be undone!

Can it be that our ancestors have gifted us with what we call today fear, pain, and sadness? Where does it come from that we still are affected by it today? Will we do the same to our children and grandchildren? Why do we not release it now? How do we release it?

Is it time for us as parents to look at life differently when it comes to our children? Can we wonder of their sadness and why they cry and act as they do? What is bothering them that we are unaware of? What are their fears? What is their pain?

Sadness for me is the memory of unjust, prejudiced, judgmental, mean, unkind and an unloving humanity towards each other. Is it possible for us as a society of humans to release the hate, anger, and fighting amongst ourselves? And if we do, say one day wake up to being the beings of love we are, will that erase the sadness and grief that we carry? That I also carry! That my children and grandchildren carry? As we are one, how can I heal to help you heal?

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity…” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Have I after lifetimes of suffering as a human by hate or love attached myself to this pain and sorrow forever? If I heal myself will that heal you also? Since we are all one all it would take is for us to offer kindness and forgiveness towards those we share our lives with daily. Maybe even towards strangers would help heal us all.

In today’s world, there are many acts of violence and deaths of loved ones that stir the mind and heart to deep sadness and pain. We have no answers to the many acts of violence, terrorism, and killings that happen in the moment. Even our weather is stirring up fear, sadness, and pain. We have become troubled by the thought that fills our minds of, what is going to happen next?

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AFFIRM: I am choosing now, this day to release the sadness within and eliminate the grief that connects me to free myself and to free all of the humans that suffer from the nastiness of life. The nastiness of life is the unjust, unkind, hateful, mean words and actions any of us project onto another. May I forgive those who harm me, as well as, those I have harmed. May we all celebrate the lives lived that have been taken too soon. May I know in my heart that there is a reason for everything that happens in this world. Today, I release that which no longer serves me.

“Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process.” – Anne Wilson Schaef

Let us choose not to be sad but to embrace that we are born as beings of love, and it is now the time to open our hearts to one another. We must stop the negativity, unkind words, ugly remarks, criticism, and anger towards each other. It is now the time and age in life where it must be a choice within our hearts that life is a place of living, learning and loving one another. To move forward away from sadness, fear and pain we must embrace love and offer love towards all. Awareness and forgiveness are essential to moving forward and not getting stuck in our past or centered on our future.

As we come together in times of attack and hateful situations that harm those we love, may we open our hearts always in all situations! Why must we wait for an act of violence to join as loving humans helping one another? We are beings of love first. Choose today to offer prayers and forgiveness, as you open your heart with love for all of life.

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Why not choose to think before we speak, react with love in all situations, stop trying to control one another and let others live their life as they want as long as they are not choosing to hurt themselves or anyone else. Now is the moment to stop being critical and judgmental of one another no matter what the circumstance.

The sadness I carry within, and you carry as well, is the essence of all that we are witness to in life that is not of love. Let us choose love!

Pray. Meditate. Journal.
www.LindaAmato.com
www.MakingBelievers.wordpress.com

 

 

HE WAS MY DAD …

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“I thank you for your part in my journey…”

As the only daughter of my dad, I cherished him. Today, I miss him and his wisdom. I imagine he did not have an easy childhood and one I cannot ever imagine. Born in 1927, he lived until 1998 when he died of lung cancer. He was 70 years old. His struggles were many.

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Abandonment, alcoholism, and mental illness. Dad grew up during a time that I was unaware of but heard of; that his mom at 16 gave birth to him and then left him on a stoop at the age of four. That is where his issue with abandonment took off. His father’s sisters raised him. He grew up with hand me down clothes and toys from his cousins! He never felt loved. His dad who worked on the docks of New York City was never there for him.

He told me of working nights at American Beverage Soda Company and how they wanted to give him a 25 cents raise once, but he felt he was not smart enough to be a manager. For 25 cents though, dad could get a can of soda and a sandwich he said. He liked beer at an early age was drunk lots of times but happy at those times, it seemed to me. I had no clue these episodes were what today is called ‘dysfunctional.’

“I thank you for being the reason I smile …”

As a child, I only knew what went on in my house and had no idea of what a normal, happy home life I did not have. Fear was part of daily existence when he was drinking, but the memories I choose to cherish are when he was not drinking. There is ugliness in life, but we can eliminate that which does not serve us today. We can pick what we want to remember. I felt loved by him, and that is the greatest of my memories.

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He sang drunk at weddings, and my mom would drag me into the ladies bathroom and hide because she was embarrassed. Alcoholism would be passed down to him from his family. And so the story moves forward. Married young to my mom, they would raise my brother and me to the best of their ability.

I was blessed to have missed the gene of addiction. I feel all through life our connection was about his wisdom and how I decided somehow at a young age to love my dad unconditionally. I felt he was the way he was because of his childhood. Today I know we all have our stories and in sharing them, we may help another. I trust that the Universe waits for our reaction to the experiences during life and how we decide to live our lives. Choosing love or fear is always our free will in all situations.

The mental illness did not arrive until he was forty years old when he heard voices to murder his family. Instead, he slashed his left wrist and neck. Years later, he told me he could not see himself harming me. He would laugh and say if he had murdered all of us, he would have served 25 years in prison and then would have been free. I guess he never felt free in life and that troubled him. He survived his attempt at suicide but was deformed and never worked again.

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I was heartbroken to the depths of my soul, my mom was terrified, and my brother started his addiction process. The journey began with him going in and out of mental institutions like Creedmore State Psychiatric Hospital, and different psychiatric wards. I was there for him with my husband for thirty years after my mom finally divorced him. He nicknamed me ‘mom’ and ‘author,’ and we would laugh about this. He always adored me and wished his mom was more like me. The reason he called me ‘author,’ was because he wanted me to tell his story. He was very interested in human behavior and all the people who were ill that he met throughout his life. He believed that there was a reason for everything that happens.

The lung cancer that killed him had started 58 years before he died. Through it all he loved life. He worshiped Mother Nature and her beauty. He was addicted to her ocean, pools, and parks. He never drove a car and walked everywhere or took mass transit. He was wise, fun and wanted to be loved. It was my job to love him, and I did with my entire heart and soul. This Father’s Day he is gone nineteen years, and I think of him often. Individual songs that he sang when he was drinking pop on in the strangest of places at restaurants, and we say, ‘hi!’ I smile in acknowledgment of his presence.

“Dear Past, thank you for all the life lessons you have taught me …”

“Dear Future, I am ready now …”

His life may have been traumatic, but it never allowed him to feel sorry for himself. He loved music; all kinds, playing cards, whistling, worshiping the sun, walking outside and listening to the radio. Movies and Elvis Presley and other stars of his era were his favorites. These are my memories of a man who I had chosen to be my dad, and I would like to thank him for being the best dad ever.

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LOVE IS ALL THERE IS…

His love of me allowed me to feel cherished and special even though he was scorned by many as a mentally ill person in our society. There is sadness in how his battle in life was to encourage me to be the woman I am today and what a sacrifice he chose for me. I am his proud daughter because of him. I am who I am today because of him.

As a society, we need to accept everyone’s story and embrace one another with kindness and love. It is not difficult to be there for another who you have manifested as a being in your life for a reason. We are born to learn from one another as well as teach one another during our life experiences. Was it easy at times, no! But! He was my dad!

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is “Thank You,” it will be enough …”

Happy Father’s Day to the many fathers with their issues, addictions and unbalanced behaviors. Please know that, you are loved!

Pray! Meditate! Journal!
www.LindaAmato.com

THE WONDER OF MAGIC = PLAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME …

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Daily I awaken to the wonder that surrounds my existence. Feeling blessed for all the experiences I have journeyed through in life. I am aware that not everyone believes as I do. I wonder why? As I travel forward on a ride that has filled me to many levels of emotions, I smile at the memories. Like a cup, my cup has been filled and drained over and over again. Good times, sad times, turbulent times, but in the end an invisible force has lifted me beyond whatever I was struggling through magically.

“If you enjoy living, it is not difficult to keep the sense of wonder.” – Ray Bradbury

My grandson Hudson asked me, “What is magic?” Life is the magic of course, but six grand babies under the age of eight are clueless to life as I have seen it. To witness my childhood is impossible for them. Even when I tell them how I love my iPhone, iPad, and MacBook. They know of no other way. A year before my first grandson Hunter James was born the first iPhone was also born. It was a magical time for me taking pictures of him. Magic! Is this not all magic, I ask? When I open my car by touching the door handle, I smile, this is magic. Then I start my car without a key, but that which is a key sits in my pocketbook. Pure magic!

IMG_0360When my daughters and grandchildren FaceTime me, I laugh, this is magic. Recently, my daughter Jess was in Vietnam and texted me a message and posted photos on Facebook and Instagram. Hello, is this not magic! When I wake up in Florida and go to sleep in New York the same day, this is magic. When I watch my daughter or son hug their children, I experience the deepest magic of love swelling and opening my heart. As I become witness to life growing and moving us all forward to greatness. There are numerous magical happenings in life all around everyone. We choose to accept it all and not be amazed at the wonder of it all. Stop taking life for granted! Fill yourself with wonder and look for the magic in your daily life.

“He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.” – M. C. Escher

Aware of energy the way that I am, I marvel at the sadness and darkness that has befallen so many of us. Fear is evident in our world. We fear our country and our lives. We fear what tomorrow will bring. We fear what tomorrow will not bring. We fear what we will loose. We fear what we will gain. Please listen to me there is no magic in fear. Love carries the jewel of magic. Love feeds the soul magically. Love opens doors. Love lets in the light and eliminates the darkness. Love is the foundation of magic. Love is that part of us that trusts that there is a reason for everything. Love is the key to our raising our consciousness.

There is no reason for anyone of us to worry. Just choose to believe that which will set you free because you trust there is a Divine Intelligence. Whether you believe in God, a Creator, Angels, Saints or not there is an essence bigger than any of us. There is some Divine Intelligence that we are all connected to as one. This Divine Intelligence is a field that surrounds us daily even if we are unaware. Many of us are still asleep, and there is no wonder in our lives. We cling to the negative, the darkness that we adhere to is only to survive because we refuse to change our thoughts, words or actions.

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“As long as I’m still moving in that direction – toward wonder – then I know I will always be fine in my soul, which is where it counts. And since creativity is still the most effective way for me to access wonder, I choose it.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

When we pay attention to our dreams and ask for a message at night magic becomes part of our existence. Many say, “I never dream!” Not true! You do dream you just do not remember it or choose not to remember it. Right before you close your eyes for sleep, go into your mind and revisit your day and be grateful for everyone you traveled with through this day. Then ask; “What do I need to know?” Now go to sleep! The message in a dream is the magic of your life.

 

At times I battle the human part, my ego self and I feel less attached to a magical life. Then my spiritual part awakens me to my God-self, and I smile once again at the wonder of magic in my life. I am blessed because I can now tell the difference between the fight or even why there is to be an inner battle. I know that the ego loves to roar and throw me off track. When my ego succeeds, I feel off. It almost seems as if I am tested to feed that human part of me. It is that part that I refuse to continue to nourish. That humanity part of me has guided me to where I am today because it awakened the soul part that rested silently waiting for the right time to emerge magically. My journey is soul-infused by choice. My choices attach me to a magical existence because I believe there is magic throughout my day.

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

When we meditate daily, we magically surrender to all life offers us. Magic is the wonder that escapes the negative. The negative person clings to their fear and doubt of self because they have been programmed to grow up, be an adult, to work, to strive for more. There is no magic in living a negative life because of fear and doubt. As children, we were all filled with wonder and play. What is the greatest memory of that moment where you played? That moment where you roared with laughter, joy and complete happiness. The very time that you forgot about fear.

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My greatest moments growing up was being outside climbing a tree, swimming, reading a good book and writing in my journal. Reading a book was play for me. Books were wonder, excitement, laughter, joy and happiness. Finally, I have returned to hours of the magic of my childhood. I no longer climb a tree, but I do hug them. Even as I type at this very moment a smile escapes my lips and my eyes light up at the wonder of my MacBook Air as I move my fingers across the magical keyboard that places my words on a screen. Yes! I am having fun! Writing is – Pure magic!

 

MEDITATE! PRAY! JOURNAL!

www.LindaAmato.com

THE MEMORY OF HER HANDS

 

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“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage…” – Lao Tzu

I am amazed at the thoughts and images that pop into my mind since the passing of my mom. It is shattering to realize the truth of death, the final vision of the person I loved. It is three months the day after Mother’s Day as her ashes sit on my mantel. Her wish to be placed in the water on the way out East that we travel in our boat. Still, I am not ready to let her go again. It comforts me her being here even if it is just her ashes. This process is a sharp cut to my heart; death, ashes, placing them in the water! Emotionally even if in my heart I know she stands right by me on the other side of the veil.

“Children are the anchors that hold a mother to life.” – Sophocles

For some reason, it is her hands that I remember most. I can picture in my mind her slender fingers, manicured nails. Later in life, she would hold her index fingers up crippled from arthritis. So crooked she would tell me they hurt as she tried to straighten them but couldn’t. I can remember we held hands whenever we were walking side by side somewhere. Our fingers laced together – her fingers so cool to the touch I now recall.

As her daughter, I am witness to seeing her in me at times. A flash of insight or quick look or glance in a mirror as I walk pass. I smile at these times to myself, that yes I am her child. Sometimes the simple way I sit when watching television or drink from a cup recalls to mind a picture of her. She was twenty years older than me. I can remember her as an amazingly young woman at heart.

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Since her transition, I have been delving into my life growing up with her as my mom. I’ve asked a few questions of myself and have come to know some interesting aspects of her and who I was to her before the onset of dementia. As a metaphysical practitioner, I know of the power we possess to manifest our lives by our thoughts, words, and actions. We are powerful in manifesting everything we want and do not want in our daily lives. We do not realize the strength of our personal beliefs.

Metaphysically dementia’s probable cause and belief is a refusal to deal with the world as it is. Hopelessness and anger. If only my mom had chosen to believe she was in her perfect place and that she was safe, I wonder how free she would have been of her nightmares all of these years. Her anger was part of her fear that she imagined due to the losses in her life.

I only recall the stories she chose to share of her childhood, her belief in God and for years her nightly reciting of the rosary. Not having a wealthy upbringing and being one of nine children during a very different time in life than how she raised me, I praise her today for doing the best she knew how under the circumstances.

“Many of our fears are tissue paper thin and a single courageous step would carry us through them.” – KMH

She survived it all; fear, alcoholism, abuse and death until she could no longer close her eyes and be witness to the pain anymore. Dementia crept in slowly at first until she was no longer the woman I knew her to be. It is a slower death to the person and the family then choosing to die. I write choosing because I believe we choose our life experiences and all that we want to learn in life from our parents, our children, the place of birth, family and friends as well.

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We are born to love, heal and grow our souls. To love unconditionally all, to forgive, awaken to our truth and our freedom. However, many of us like my mom become frozen in the depths of their fear – their past. They cherish what never was possible because of death, and then cling to their pain daily and stay in the mindset of fear. For many the greatest of fears is death!

“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?” – Henry David Thoreau

My mom never knew of her greatness. Her entire being became engulfed with too much fear of life and what it could do to her. I saw as a young girl how terrified she was of my dad and how she finally had to walk away from the fear after twenty-five years. When my brother was killed suddenly by a drunk driver on his way home from work, she began her descent into escaping from this world as she knew it. The pain was unbearable, and her grief took her away from my family and me when she chose to leave New York and move back to her hometown in Puerto Rico.

At first, I felt abandoned, actually for years I felt that she left me. Today, I know it was her grief that she tried to get away from and it had nothing to do with me. Recently, my son told me that he felt that she abandoned him and his siblings as well as, me twenty-six years ago, I was surprised! It is during these types of a moment that forgiveness comes into play. I believe she did what she needed to do at the time to survive the pain. It never helps to take anything someone else does personally. Many have trouble speaking their truth and fear is part of the anxiety of their day. It is all they know and cannot express their feelings. I believe this was true of my mom.

“Motherhood is … difficult and … rewarding …” – Gloria Estefan

 

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Recently, I have been thinking about my life with my mom and my thoughts about her as a mom. Today, I know she did the best that she could, and my favorite memory of her was her childish behavior at times and holding hands with her whenever we walked somewhere. I would like to say to her that I understand and I know she loved me in her way but could not handle the pain and fear. I no longer feel abandoned by her actions to move away from my family and me. The greatest sadness I felt at her passing was that she had never met my six grandchildren. Then I think to myself can this be part of the plan that we agreed to at one time in spirit form. It matters not anymore because it is in the past and can never be any other way. I must stay in the present! To do so, I must live out my dreams. These were her choices and as her daughter I respect them. Fear was her choice for her entire life. Had she chosen Love things would have been different. There are not many choices but only two that we all get to choose from. Ask yourself how do you choose to live your life? Is it with fear or love? Fear is the roar of your ego from within. Love is the whisper of God from within. Choose wisely!

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

At this time in my life as a wife, mother, mother-in-law and grandmother I thank my mom for all that I learned from her. I am who I am today because of her choices. I discovered my truth, my passion and who I want to show to the world as a spiritual being bursting with unconditional love to share. There was a time twelve years ago when I asked her to come back to New York and live with me. She refused! She believed she would ruin my marriage and her fears would destroy her and me. That was when dementia climbed into her mind and settled in for the journey. I thank God for this life experience with my mom, and I am forever grateful that I chose her.

Today, as a woman, I am blessed to know I have always been able to live by my strength and beliefs. I feel sad that my mom never knew how strong she was and that she loved me unconditionally and I had never realized it before. I always believed that I was a teacher to my children as all moms are. I was setting an example which I hope today they can realize themselves. Mothering a child is about unconditional love because loving them as they are is key to their fulfillment.

“Motherhood: All love begins and ends there.” – Robert Browning

My mom never tried to change me, nor did she try to influence me in any way to be different than I was. I can hear her voice if I close my eyes and listen to how proud she was of me as a mom and wife. I am happy to write that was a great lesson for me to learn from her. Today, during this month of May when we celebrate our mothers, I wish to say to mine, “thank you, mom!” Take a moment and say this simple prayer as well … “thank you, mom!”

 

Pray! Meditate! Journal!

www.LindaAmato.com

 

THE ESSENTIALS OF GRIEF, LOSS & FEAR

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live…” – Norman Cousins

I’m wondering if there are tools to help one process the death of a loved one. I believe it does not matter as much as who died, when or where but that they are no longer here. We cannot see them, talk to them or touch them. What do we grieve most then; the touch of them, not ever seeing them again, or the absence of their voice.

  • What are we grieving?
  • Why are we grieving?
  • Who are we grieving?

My mom lived in Puerto Rico for the last 26 years while I lived in New York. She had dementia and did not know me or anyone else for the last few years. Then she was gone. I was motherless! I became fatherless in 1998! I cried for that which will never be and for that which had not been. Yes, I cried tears that filled up my heart to bursting. For me, because she was simply no longer here on the planet with me. Sharing the air, I breathe daily. Looking up at the moon and stars that I loved. All these years I just knew that she was here, only far away which comforted me in some way.

Then one day I was filled with a deep calmness when I realized she was finally at peace, resting and smiling down at me. It was her life, not mine that she lived. It was her life to live as she chose because God gives us all ‘free will. Slowly it dawned on me one day, how we accomplished a perfect teaching as mother and daughter together this lifetime.

Finally, I looked back at our relationship and all that I had learned from her. I felt blessed that she was an amazing teacher. I felt happy that I had chosen her to learn from all that I could. To be the wife and mother, I am today because of her. I remembered her and how she laughed, how I felt laughing with her. The little gifts she always needed to purchase for me when I was visiting her. She had a talent of nourishing me with food and love when it was just the two of us, many yesterdays ago.

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on…” -Robert Frost

I honored and respected her always even when I felt abandoned by her. Today, I understand it was her grief that she became stuck in when my brother died in a head-on collision by a drunk driver in 1988. It wasn’t me! It was her loss, fear, and sorrow. Fear was the foundation always of her existence, in that she chose dementia to escape into, to survive as long as she did. I recently went and bought her favorite perfume from when I was young, and every morning I spray my space with her and say, “Mom, let’s start the day together!” And off I go knowing she is by my side.

I imagine you are like me struggling with a loss of some kind. It doesn’t always have to be a death. It can be a divorce, a job, a friendship that ended or just that we cannot find where we belong in life. Maybe what we are grieving is not about another but our grief at this time. The simple end to something or someone!

Can it be that we are grieving our loss, our fears, and our sorrow? It has nothing to do with the deceased. Our heart aches and tears run down our face as we try to understand how we will exist without them. The deceased are at peace. But, I can’t imagine even if that is possible the way we carry on about them leaving us. They must feel guilty and sad!

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time …” – Mark Twain

Whenever I pass a funeral procession, I say a prayer for the living family and friends of the deceased. As well as, a prayer that the living let the dead rest in peace. I have read that everyone handles grief differently. Some have regrets. Others have a fear of death. Some of us get stuck deep in our minds and cannot comprehend the loss, as my mom did. We cannot handle our grief! Maybe it is time to look at the reasons why we struggle with grief in such a heartbreaking manner.

For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one. – Khalil Gibran

  • What can we do, when our hearts break apart violently because of the death of a loved one?
  • How can we survive the loss of friendship, job, or even a divorce?
  • Are there any tools that we can grasp onto which will help us to heal?

Fear of our death is the first tool that needs to be accepted. Life will always end in death for every living person, animal, insect, plant and fish. Death is the only process there is to life. We have all chosen a life experience that must begin and end. We will never have the answers for why a baby dies, or why another life lives to old age crippled with disease.

What we all must comprehend is that we chose a plan and that there is a purpose to each life. The reality is that there is a reason for everything that happens in life. Especially, today when there are so many killings across our world by terrorists, suicides, and death to drug-related deaths. I have read that we choose our life experience to either heal our karma or heal another’s karma! We agree to die at a given moment to help heal ourselves or another member of our family group because life is eternal. There is no death. There is a transition period. We need to express love.

No regrets are the second tool that many will find hard to process. Usually what we regret is an action we did not accomplish. We didn’t visit our parents, offer support to our friend, we were always abusive, negative, confrontational or we just could not be bothered with their drama. Our actions will always speak louder than our words. We all deserve a second chance, a third chance, maybe even a fourth chance!

Even when a baby or child dies suddenly or due to an illness, there can be no regrets. We must remember there is a plan. All we can do is take their death and make something good out of it. Remember you chose this life and everyone in it that travels the path along your side.

There is no loss, brings us to our third tool. Our souls are eternal. Our bodies are our vehicle. How we take care of our vehicle is a clue to how long it will last. Everyone knows how to eat and what to eat to remain healthy – yet we choose consciously to eat what will harm us. Like putting soda instead of gas in a car. We are witness to many celebrities dying of drug overdoses or obesity in some cases. Why are we shocked suddenly, as we say; “What a sin, he/she died so young?” It is not a sin. They did not take care of themselves! Their vehicle was misused and mistreated.

“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive…” – John Green

We must believe that our loved ones visit us in dreams, with signs, symbols, music, smell and coins. Know that the best process to help a loved one who has transitioned is to pray for them. Thank them for the time you shared, the happy and joyful memories you now possess. To continue to send them love. To forgive them if they had any additive behavior. As well as forgiving yourself! Know it was all part of the plan.

I have read that when one door closes another door will open. Divorce, jobs, relationships run a course. One knows when the reason for divorce or leaving a job or relationship is necessary if there is any form of abuse. No one has permission to verbally, mentally or physically abuse us through their addictive behaviors. It is not allowed! Many of us survive abuse to be part of our existence because we feel we are worthy of said abuse. Or, maybe we do not know how to make a change to better ourselves. The addiction in life that dulls our souls is the drama we become addicted to daily.

“Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75 …” – Benjamin Franklin

When we cry, scream, ache deep within with pain it is not for them. It is for us! We hurt! The question is why? Look at it this way, you traveled a life journey with a loved one together laughing, dancing, raising children, maybe working together, or you were a child, friend, sibling, spouse or even a parent. The memories are bountiful. There are pictures, gifts received and given. Likes and dislikes shared. You cried together or wept over a sad movie or event. This life experience may have ended in a fight or not. Either one of you could have become too busy for the other. One of you may have been critical of the others choices. Life moved forward on its own, and you lost touch. It is all normal human behavior.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself…” – George Bernard Shaw

When we forgive ourselves, we can then forgive others. There is a process to loving the self so that we can then love another. There is no reason to not pray for those we can no longer see, touch or hear. We can ask them to visit us in our dreams. To send us a sign; whether a symbol, coin, smell or memory. Trust me they are still by your side. Believe it, and they will be there for you. Fill the ache within your heart with love for them.

Our journey here is to grow our soul for our soul is the part of us that is eternal. Love, kindness, acceptance, and forgiveness are essential to offer every single one of us a chance to live a life of our dreams.

  • What do you dream for you?
  • How can you manifest this dream!
  • What do you need to change in your life to live your dream?

PRAY! MEDITATE! JOURNAL!

www.LindaAmato.com

THE SHADOWS OF LIFE

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As we travel close to the holiday season I have been reflecting on the changes in my personal life this past year. In the past I tended to fear change but today I welcome it as part of my growth process. Fear is the main function of belief that is claimed by most of us daily. We fear lots of things that either were handed down to us from our parents or society, as well as, many adults in our lives.

When I take time to journal, meditate and pray daily I am blessed with a tender connection to spirit. Intuition flows and insight is received. Sometimes with clarity, guidance and support. These actions of mine taken daily free me from my past. Yet, life seems so fearful for many because they do not take the time to search within themself for answers. That we all have a shadow side means we either nourish the dark side through fear or hold on tight to the light side of our essence by embracing ourselves with love. The greatest nourishment to our shadow side is of course fear!

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt…” – William Shakespeare

What do we fear most … death, drugs, divorce, abuse, abandonment, lack, feeling unworthy, low self-esteem but mostly that we are not lovable and therefore do not deserve to be loved. My belief  about life has changed drastically these past years especially when it comes to what we believe about death. The wonder of life is that no one truly knows what happens once we are pronounced dead. My thought is that we are eternal beings and our body is just a vehicle for our soul that crosses over the veil from this life. We cannot see, touch or be with a loved one that transitions over but we can hold them tightly within our hearts and still communicate with them.

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Can it be that drugs, divorce, abuse, abandonment, lack, feeling unworthy, low self-esteem and that we are not lovable are the lessons we chose to experience this lifetime. We are beings of light and love so we come to planet earth to grow our souls and balance our karma from past lives. There is nothing to fear when you believe that there is a reason for everything. How many can say that they believe and know that there are no accidents. Of course, it is so hard to grasp that we chose our parents, our life experience  and everyone we know to learn who we are.

What is our truth? How can we balance our karma? Forgiveness is the key to balance. Acceptance is the door that opens when we no longer are judgmental or critical of another. Maybe it is time now to ‘flip’ our own thought process when it comes to how we believe, speak and act. I imagine the ability to ‘flip’ comes from the depths of compassion we show another because we see their fear so clearly. Can we not as a society make the decision to offer love in place of fear to one who is full of fear? The terrors of life are what separates each us from our unity as spiritual beings having a human experience.

“Be grateful for yourself… be thankful…” – William Saroyan

For those who feel they were abandoned by a parent, spouse, child or friend and have low self-esteem, feel unworthy and unlovable what are the opposites of these but to love who we are as we are, to know we are worthy, lovable and that we asked to experience abandonment to grow, balance and live our truth. Let it all go. Leave it up to God. Release what no longer serves you. Think out of the box. Find that which creates freedom of thought today! Ask yourself why do you take everything so personal? There is a human need to punish each other only because the punisher feels that something is being done to him or her because of fear.

In reflection of my own life I was raised by two extremely different parents: a fearful judgmental mom and an alcoholic, manic-depressant dad! To me I thought my dad was the wisest man I ever met and I was capable of loving him unconditionally for 30 years while  he lived in and out of mental institutions. Still, I saw no fault in him. I imagine today that was because he was the greatest teacher for this life-experience and I chose him. That my dad sacrificed his life as an alcoholic and manic-depressant for me fills me with a deep understanding of the plans we choose in life to know who we are.

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There was a time I felt abandoned by  my mom over and over again but today I know I was able to grow to the person I am today because of her. My heart and soul thanks her daily for all that I have learned because I chose her as my mom. My mom is 85 years old and in the full stages of dementia for years now. She does not know me or any of her family members. I thank her for commitment to herself and to what she needed to do for me so that I was able to grow to the woman I am today! I imagine how easy life could be for many if they opened their hearts to those they love daily and embrace them unconditionally with gratitude for triggering them, and being the best teacher for them. I find it eye-opening that life is definitely not like we have all been taught or led to believe.

“When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive…” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Lets imagine that the shadows, darkness, fears and anger are what we chose to learn from. Instead of trying to figure out what is wrong with us, let’s be grateful for the roles we have played in our movie of life as well as those we chose to support us in our movie.

PRAY. MEDITATE. JOURNAL.

www.LindaAmato.com

The Sorrow of Loss

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Can it be that we struggle daily to find ourselves? Is it our truth and essence that sits deep within but which we cannot grasp that calls to us? We know of a place that is not here but still there is a loss that stirs our soul to all that we believe in. What is the essence of this loss? Why do we fill with sorrow? Is it of this lifetime or a past lifetime?

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” -Buddha

Many of us have experienced some form of abuse in our lives but what if this so called abuse is generational? How can we eliminate further emotional, physical or mental abuse from our daughters/sons and their daughter/sons. Abuse is not solely characterized as an issue that only women experience. Yet, we the women of the world carry the cross squarely on our hearts filled with this ache of sorrow and loss. Can this loss that we desire to find be that of emotionally feeling and witnessing unconditional love. Generationally, everyone has done the best they knew how to do but the energy today screams for us to forgive and to love unconditionally. This is the sorrow I write of. This is the loss we all have experienced.

“Poisonous relationships can alter our perception. You can spend many years thinking you’re worthless. But you’re not worthless, you’re unappreciated.” -Steve Maraboli

We as a people, community, society, neighborhood and family are ripe to feel loved. Finally, the past does not fit into the present no longer. Anger, fear, hate, prejudice, criticism and judgment has no place in today’s world because there is too deep a sorrow felt for the loss of yesterday that has been experienced. Love is the present solution for all to release our karma and that which no longer serves us.

“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” -Louise L. Hay”

img_4234With love as a foundation at this time we will finally know the meaning and truth to the words, “Love your neighbor as you Love yourself!” The sorrow of loss is that many do not know how to love themself because of the pain they have been witness to by abuse in their lives. Abuse fills the heart and mind with the simple thought that, I am not worthy of being loved!” The different forms of abuse a child, young adult, teenager, wife, husband or parent experiences wears the personality down to a deep emptiness that something is missing in life. We try to fill this emptiness with addictions of many kinds and material possessions. However, the soul knows nothing is missing because we are all born as beings of love and light. The love we do not receive because of the generational aspect that pushes forward on its own must be stopped today.

img_4231“Our entire life … Consists ultimately in accepting ourselves as we are.” – Jean Anouih

Abuse has been rampant in many of our lives but no longer is acceptable today. The main tool to release the sorrow of loss at this time is to begin to meditate daily. This simple but profound tool of healing carries the benefit of connecting you to your soul and releasing what no longer serves you. Be aware that your children and their children shall benefit from you consciously ending the sorrow of loss due to abuse of any kind. There is truth in the fact that when you love yourself just as you are, no matter what you have been told by another, you will experience a connection to that part of you that is called your God-self! We are here to like God and to be of service.

Meditate. Pray. Journal.

www.lindaamato.com

www.deborahking.com (to learn how to meditate)

THE TOOLS OF MAGIC

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The power of magic in our lives is based on our beliefs. Do you believe in magic? Does life seem magical at times? Can magic fill you with glee at the memory of your childhood? Is that innocence no longer part of your day?

We are born filled with all possibility to create a magical existence. However, we become trapped into the world of adults and their beliefs governed by society. A society that drills into us that more is the answer to life. We become overwhelmed by the beliefs of others on how to look, dress and what job we must accept. Cars that we drive even have a status in today’s world. How much money we need to exist and what foods we must eat. WHY?

“Find that magical place in life and live there…”

Why have we allowed our lives to be based on what others believe and think? Can we not return to the childhood innocence of a belief that anything is possible even magic! Is it not time today to stop and become aware of what stirs our soul and heart. What are we passionate about in life today that thrilled us as a child? Why can’t we release from our minds the echo of our parents and societies beliefs, and that which no longer serves us today as adults?

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Through the practice of meditation and the act of going within to hear the silence from the depths of our soul magic is created. It is the magic we crave today that will inspire us to live our lives based on the truth of our own beliefs.

Many of us have had difficult childhoods but trust me if you sit in silence the memories of magical times from your inner child will surface eventually to comfort you as an adult today. Embrace your inner child to feel safe and loved by you today.What did you dream for yourself as a child?

We are all here to love and be loved, to forgive and be of service. When death comes to the physical body all that will live eternally is the love you shared and the light you offered towards another by being of service.

“Life is a sequence of moments and when those moments sequence right. It’s magical…”

The daily practice of prayer after meditation is the gift we give to ourselves as well as those we pray for.  Reading spiritual books for 15 minutes a day enlightens our spiritual practice to create magic to unfold through our connection to Spirit. We will then believe in ourselves by the process of loving all that we have survived because our lives have passion and purpose. We begin to float through the day, loving our journey as it unfolds magically all around us.

It is the beliefs of our truth that we must cling to now – today – not tomorrow. It is time to change our ways and be the spiritual beings we were born to be. Stand up for yourself and be the magical spiritual being that you were created for. As our journey of magic unfolds it is that time that will nourish you to be the best person you can be. Why not strive for the magic?

“All I know is that when I pray, coincidences happen; and when I don’t pray. they don’t happen…” -Dan Hayes

Life is yours to claim and create that which stirs your soul to awakening to your truth. It is your passion that you silently held close to your heart as a child that needs to be fueled today no matter what another told you in the past. We as spiritual beings are extremely powerful by the simple way we use our thoughts, words and actions daily. We are all magical.

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Life is a path we travel that creates the journey to fulfill our humanity by being brave enough to walk how we choose to. Release any old beliefs that you are not worthy enough, smart enough, good enough or even pretty or handsome enough. YOU are perfect just as you are. YOU are at the right place where you are meant to be today. There are no mistakes. Now let the magic in. Live your life not how someone drills into they believe you should live. There is no ‘should’ in magic.

“Logic will get you from A-Z! Imagination will get you everywhere…” -Albert Einstein

The last tool after meditating, praying and reading spiritual books is to journal your feelings on whatever pain you hold on to. Release the pain through the act of keeping a daily journal. The best form of therapy there is and you can do it in the moments that fill you with doubt.

Meditate. Pray. Journal.

www.LindaAmato.com

Our Fathers Brothers and Sons …

The memories of being his daughter can only be shared from the eyes of the child I was. I recall that I held on so tight to his hand when we walked the streets of our neighborhood. Even today, I could see the birds in the trees as they chirped while children played stick ball in the street. The smell of summertime was in the air as we walked to the avenue to get french fries and fried shrimp in a brown paper bag which we ate as we walked back home. I was always amazed at the fun I had with my dad just walking around our neighborhood.

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“Old as she was she still missed her daddy.” -Gloria Naylor

My favorite memory of his was when he walked home from work and I could hear him whistling. These memories are stored in my heart safely from a time that filled me with wonder at the life I lived yesterday. Dad loved Mother Nature and all her beauty. Walking, swimming and being outside fueled his soul. He was nourished by all that She shared with him daily. I learned to respect Her at a young age and to never dirty Her world with paper or gum. Today these thoughts comfort me when I recall the  moments shared with the man I called dad!

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I miss him today mostly on Wednesdays. Why? Well that was the day I visited him weekly for years or at one time he visited me and it was his favorite day of the week. He lived in and out of mental institutions and adult homes for the last thirty years of his life. The day came when he could not put on a front of being normal for my children so he told me, “I can no longer come to your house its too difficult for me to leave my world and enter yours.” Now I know what he meant. Labelled manic-depressant because he attempted suicide he struggled for years to continue being the dad that I adored. My belief is that people who struggle with depression of any kind have had their hearts broken by someone they loved and trusted. I’m positive today that I was loved by him as deeply as I loved him.

“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.” -George Herbert

He nicknamed me “author!” He believed I was a writer. He encouraged me to write a book about his life. I wrote a spiritual/fictional story about his life that I self-published but today when I reflect on my words I believe it just might have been my life as well. Making Believers: “Connect to the light within…” was in honor of my dad’s life and I showed how once one connects to the light within change is possible. Growth is essential and unconditional love is the key to opening our hearts.

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I am at an age of insight and clarity. My wisdom years one might say. I have discovered the truth in the words that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. My belief is that we are here to learn how to be human beings. What if, we are here to learn the simple lesson of love? When we love we accept and forgive those that we fear. When we love we open our hearts to release love towards others. It is time in life right now to love, forgive and accept that we are all doing the best we can.

“We are here to connect with our soul!” -Linda Amato

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My suggestion to you is to look at the life your father shared with you as if you were still that child and he was the greatest gift on earth to you. Be that small child in awe of a dad that can do anything and do it well. Open your heart to the memories of laughter and fun. What have you learned from your dad that puts a smile on your face?

Be in delight of the times he held your hand maybe crossing the street. Was he the dad that taught you to hunt, fish, ride a  bike or drive a car? Was he the man who showed you how to hold a baseball bat, toss a ball or play hockey? Remember the times when you struggled and he was there to help you stand up again! He may have just come  home on Sunday with an apple turnover just for you! Does seeing an apple turnover today remind you of him? What reminds you today of the dad he once was that puts a smile on your face?

Was he the dad who walked you down the aisle on your wedding or gave a toast in your honor? Was he simply the man you looked up to as your hero and is not capable of being a hero in your eyes today because of illness or death? Are you carrying his fears as your own today? Know its time to release the past and hug tight to your heart the memories of love and joy that you cherished as a child.

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“The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family.” -Reed Markham

My belief is that our fathers have a very difficult time being human because they have been taught to be strong, fearless and not to show their emotions. Dads have fears too! So please be gentle with your dad today and if he no longer shares this world forgive him his fears. As a daughter, wife, sister, and mother there are many men in my life that are fathers today that I cherish. I see the struggle within to express truth because of financial concerns, illness, and having to support their family. As women we expect their strength to support us in all situations but they have to be taught to know its safe to express love and show emotion from a young age. Maybe one day our father, brothers, husbands and sons will shed the tears that bind them.

“It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons!” -Johann Friedrich Von Schiller

At one time in my life I wrote many poems when I was struggling with understanding life myself. Poetry helped me heal my fears. Here is one I would like to share that I wrote the year after my dad went home to the spirit world at the age of seventy.

I AM AT PEACE

A lifetime we shared

I as your child

You were so mild

I treasure the memory

Like pictures in a book

And the wisdom you gave me.

My heart full of pain

My body hurt so

When you had to go.

The days filled with tears

The nights without sleep

For I wanted you near.

I approach the anniversary

A year since your death

With a calmness inside

I no longer need to cry.

A cleansing of my mind

My eyes are dry

As I now say, “goodbye!”

 Meditate. Pray. Journal.

www.LindaAmato.com

LA BELIEVES IN LOVE

 

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My days are filled with a thought that there is a reason for everything. Growing up as a child of an alcoholic father and a detached fearful mother,  I have simply did as I have been told for most of my life. Silence was a means of my survival. Today I have discovered a connection to the Spirit world that embraces my silence as a grown woman. I do wonder how I survived in a world that filled me with delight at a young age, as well as, fear.

Why else would I escape into the books of my youth but to dream. How did I never quarrel with my parents or brother, only because I knew there was no need to. There seems to be so much chaos in life today that I am happy I grew up when I did. Alcohol and Fear made me who I am today. I embrace my life that I have lived with lessons learned and peace in my heart. My path has taken me on one amazing journey that I could never have imagined myself. But here I am living a life that is filled with believable alternatives that come from the universe and fills me with belief in a world that I know is truly great. I am safe and all is well.

I have learned of perception recently and how others perceive even me. I find it intriguing and interesting. There are so many emotions I can claim as my own from anger to disgust but why would I today. I have a question that I pull up from the depths of my soul in situations. Simply, “what would God do?” A small but powerful question that places me in the right frame of mind. God would do nothing but love is the answer. I pray to Him to help me to love as He does. To guide me on this journey that is left, free of the ego/personality that no longer serves me.

I would like to add that my love of the written word led me to be an avid reader but the most benefit I ever received was in writing the written word through the act of taking pen to paper for my entire life. Whether it was a journal, story or poetry I wrote. Even this  blog releases the doubts in my mind that struggle to fill me with fear or worry but which I have no use for in my world today. I came across some poetry from my past and would like to share the following poem that I wrote in the year 1993. I believe it is appropriate at this time in my life once again.

The Change

The pattern of life has been set before our time was ever a question

Can we somehow believe to make a difference with a suggestion

Adults we become, the change we will make.

In the end, all we will feel, is the pain of heartache.

Around and around, year after year, we create an existence.

Only to always believe the world as we know it, needs some assistance.

Kindness and love, can be a special part of this family.

Unfortunately, there is no time to listen to the cries we hear steadily.

There is always tomorrow, but it simply will leave.

Then its too late, the change has not come, so we begin to grieve…

Meditate. Pray. Journal.

www.LindaAmato.com

LA BELIEVES IN LOVE

gossipThe Darkness of The Ego

“The words of a talebearer (a gossiper) are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly”  – Proverbs 18.8, King James Version

According to Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 11th edition, gossip means:“A person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others” and “rumor or report of an intimate nature.”

We are a society that loves to talk about one another as if it is our right to trash someone else with our words. Look at the celebrities that live in the fish bowl called, “being famous.” Their lives have become entertainment for the world. And what do we do with it but soak in the gossip we hear or read about them as if we know them personally. No wonder we have developed this belief that we as individuals have the right to gossip about another. It matters not if it is our boss, co-worker, parent, spouse, child, friend or family member. If we are trying in some way to make another look bad or feel we want to hurt them with our words, then we are also hurting ourselves. It would be helpful to ask; “Why have I chosen to speak badly about ______________?”

When we choose to enter this world of darkness it is the roar of our ego. The ego roar its ugly head towards us so we can attach to its darkness of; anger, fear, grievances, hatred, jealousy, resentment or unforgiveness. The key is to forgive ourselves first in all situations so that we can forgive others and then maybe not gossip about them. We confront another with stories that may be true or can be lies because it is how we perceive the information that we choose to share. We project onto others words that are not ours to tell especially if they are harmful to someone we know or not know.

Some of us have been raised to believe that this is normal behavior. We were witness to our parents words and actions bullying us or others. As children our parents are our first teachers and we look up to them as the best possible person that we know when young. We are not aware that their beliefs may one day be different from ours. As adults we have the choice to be a being of love and light or to live by the darkness of our ego because we were raised to not know any other way.

Those who believe that they need to gossip are addicted in some way to this behavior because they feel an inner need to speak of others as if they are superior to them. We are all ‘one’ connected by an unseen Divine Intelligence so when we hurt another by our words we are also hurting ourselves as well. Sometimes we need to stop and think before we speak about the words that will come out of our mouth. Not everyone is conscious of how they speak or act or even believe they are doing anything wrong. If in any way this article resonates with you to stop and think about your words and actions, I hope you forgive yourself and become conscious.

“Kabbalah teaches us that consciousness is everything. Not only are we responsible for what we say, but also what we do and what we allow to unfold around us. Consciousness means recognizing negative situations and taking action when necessary to stay connected to the Light.” – Kabbalah Centre

Mediate. Pray. Journal.

www.LindaAmato.com

LA BELIEVES IN LOVE…

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Why do we not choose to love in all situations?

As a woman, wife, mother and grandmother I find myself dealing with many different types of personalities that are generated by fear. I believe that we come into this world as loving beings of spirit and our purpose here is to love unconditionally. However, many believe in conditional love which is painful to behold as a child growing up. The essence of conditional love is, “if you do not do what I say, you will be punished.” Growing up in a home of fear myself because of a parent with the addiction of alcoholism I learned to be afraid. I learned to not know who I was or how to act or speak. It was this belief that allowed anger to settle into the core of my being. All I wanted to be was a child but responsibilities were forced on me at a very young age that I did not understand how to react to. A memory at 5 years of age haunts me to the point that at that moment there was no one to protect me but myself. I cringe that at such a young age I chose such a drastic defense pattern.

How does one manage  to protect themself in fearful situations?

There are characterologies or what I have learned to also be called defense patterns that we develop at a young age which are not our truth but which we pick to protect ourselves. There are only five defense patterns that we choose at one time or another because of the fears of our childhood.

Schizoid is the first defense pattern which developes before or after birth because of the trauma of  a hostile mother. This person evokes intellectualization. The eyes are vacant fixed and scared. The person is hyperactive and ungrounded. The defense action is to leave the body out of the top of their head when triggered as an adult today. The physical build is elongation with right/left imbalances because they are always twisted out of their body. The style of communication is in absolutes. There is a double bind for they believe, “To exist means to die.”  This defense pattern demands the right to be and to exist. A schizoid’s mask statement is, “I’ll reject you before you reject me!”To set boundaries are required of this person today.

Oral … developes during babyhood feeding because of the trauma of abandonment.  This person evokes mothering. The eyes are pleading like a puppy dog. This person is hypoactive with low energy. The physical build is thin with a collapsed chest. The style of communication is to ask questions. The double bind for this type of person is, “If I ask, it’s not love; if I don’t ask, I won’t get it.” This defense pattern demands the right to be nurtured and fulfilled.  An Oral’s mask statement is, “I don’t need you!” This type of person needs to own their needs and stand on their own two feet.

Psychopath .. developes in early childhood because of the trauma of seduction and betrayal by  a parent’s untruthfulness. This person evokes submission. Their eyes are compelling. Hyperactivity followed by collapse is the energy of this defense pattern.An inflated chest which makes this person top heavy is a sign of the psychopath. Their choice in communication is to dictate to others. Their double bind is, “Kill or be killed.” This defense pattern demands to be supported and encouraged. The psychopath’s mask statement is, “I’m right; you’re wrong!” This type of person needs to trust.

Masochist … Autonomy stage of growth is when this defense pattern developes because the child is controlled, with forced feeding and evacuation. This person evokes teasing. The eyes are suffering/confused. The physical build is that the head is forward and heavy. The energy level is hypoactive (internalized energy). Whining disgust is how they communicate. The double bind is, “If I get angry, I’ll be humiliated; if I don’t, I’ll be humiliated.” This defense pattern demands to be independent. The masochist’s mask statement is, “I’ll kill (hurt) myself before you do!”It is their need to be assertive, free, and open to spiritual connections.

Rigid … This defense begins in puberty because of sexual denial and betrayal of the heart. This person evokes competition. Sparkling, bright and present are their eyes.Their energy is high and hyperactive.  The physical build is a rigid back and their pelvis is tipped back. The choice of communication is as a qualifier. “Either choice is wrong,” is their double bind. This defense pattern demands the right to have feelings (love/sex). The Rigid’s mask statement is, “Yes, but…” Interestingly it is their need to connect the heart to the genitals.

SexualitySchizoid/Sex to feel life force, fantasy. Oral/Sex for closeness and contact. Psychopath/Hostile,fragile,homosexual, fantasy. Masochicst/Impotence, strong interest in Pornography. Rigid/Sex with contempt.

The defensive action of these defense patterns are: Schizoid/leaves the body. Oral/life sucks. Psychopath/controls others. Masochist/demands and resists at same time. Rigid/acts appropriately, rather than authentically.

The results of their defensive action are: Schizoid/weaker body. Oral/inability to metabolize own energy. Psychopath/aggression and betrayal/drawn to self. Masochist/dependence; inability to differentiate between self and others. Rigid/inability to experience self; world is false.

The main issue of these defense patterns are: Schizoid/existential terror. Oral/Nurturance. Psychopath/betrayal. Masochist/invasion and theft. Rigid/authenticity, denial of real self.

The fears are: Schizoid/living in human body as an individual. Oral/not enough of anything. Psychopath/letting go and trusting. Masochist/being controlled; loss of self. Rigid/imperfection.

What they have experienced: Schizoid/direct aggression. Oral/lack of nurturance; abandonment. Pschopath/was used and betrayed. Masochist/invaded;humiliated. Rigid/denial of psychological and spiritual reality.

All of these defense patterns are not their truth. This was a means of protecting themself from an adult when young. Today these patterns rise as a means of defense when they are triggered by anothers words or actions. It is a cellular memory that triggers them into their defense. At some point, the child experienced trauma severe enough to begin needing to  block their emotions and instead use a defense pattern for dealing with the world.

Personally, I am aware in refletion that I was a psychopathic mother and I would like to apologize to my children because I had to have scared them at times. Please forgive me because I was most likely  more afraid than you.

My teacher Deborah King has opened my mind and heart to be accepting of others and to know that how they think, speak and act is a defense when triggered. To not criticize or judge someone but to look for the light within which is their truth. In learning to love oneself opens the door to love others as they are. No one knows how anyone was raised and the pain or fear they experienced. Born as spiritual beings of love and light we must learn from these lessons we chose to experience and educate ourselves on a spiritual path of healing.

Today I feel blessed to be on this amazing journey we call life. I know that there is a reason for everything and that anything is possible. I am in the process of peeling away the onion of my life, layer by layer and releasing the repressed fear, greed, lies, hatred, pride and anger that no longer serves me.  All that a child at any age really needs is to know they are loved and protected by their parent. Being a parent is a powerful responsibility!

I would like to forgive my mom for I am positive today that she did the best she could because of the childhood she experienced. She was an extremely fearful woman. I am clueless to how she was raised  but she has been one of my greatest teachers and for that I am grateful.

Who do you think you are?

The source of the above information is from my studies with Deborah King and she credits this information from Light Emerging by Barbara Ann Brennan.

MEDITATE. PRAY. JOURNAL

www.LindaAmato.com

www.DeborahKing.com

LA Believes in Love

As I continue writing on the shift of transformation that I was led to I feel blessed to share my journey. After traveling a life experience of loving unconditionally I found that I needed more in life. It was a time when my soul cried out to me. I was led to what I call Part “B” of my journey. A book opened my heart to experience a path that is believable but alternative for many. Yet, in my heart I ached to return to this part of myself.

I did not tread lightly on this new adventure as I flew forward anxious at times and fearful but within I knew I had to move forward. I ask myself always can one book simply allow me to believe as I do today and I must answer it was this one step that led  me to walk many steps.

This book that I speak of is by Louis L. Hay and I discovered it in a little quaint bookstore in Woodstock New York. In reading You Can Heal Your Life, I discovered her Philosophy which I embraced with open arms as well as the ability of affirmations to inspire me daily.

Louise L. Hay writes:

We are responsible for all of our experiences. Every thought we think is creating our future. The point of power is always in the present moment. Everyone suffers from self-hatred and guilt. The bottom line for everyone is, “I’m not good enough.” It’s only a thought and a thought can be changed. We create every so-called illness in our body. Resentment, criticism and guilt are the most damaging patterns. Releasing resentment will dissolve even cancer. We must release the past and forgive everyone. We must be willing to begin to learn to love ourselves. Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now are the keys to positive change. When we really love ourselves, everything in our life works.

I discovered my inner child hanging tightly on to the lids of my eyes when I looked within. I felt her sadness and despair to survive. Clueless to how my childhood, marriage and life experiences had filled a part of me with sorrow I fell in love with her and in doing so, I began to love me just as I was.

After reading this book I wrote affirmations for twenty-one days for twenty-one times until my thought process changed. I still say the same affirmations today that I began with in 2003 daily.

I trust the process of life to bring only good to me. I am safe. All is well. I am as God created me, a spiritual being of love and light. I only create peaceful experiences because I love myself. I am healthy, happy and whole body, mind and soul. There is time and space for everything.

This 246 page book is what enlightened me to open my heart and believe in me. I had many years of despair, depression and doubt in who I was due to the journey. Death has the way of manifesting a desire to know and understand reasons why everything happens. Abuse makes us look within to wonder why we are treated unkindly. Abandonment makes us wonder why we are not loved. Life has this way of allowing us to experience different emotions and fear no matter who we are. I credit this book to open wide the window of my soul to finally be nourished.

There are many books, classes and workshops I have enjoyed and I look forward to sharing with you the power and process of positive thought, word and action. My teachers have been many and I hope you enjoy the ride with me.

Pray. Meditate. Journal

www.LindaAmato.com

LA BELIEVES IN LOVE

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The innocence of my life was that I loved. The path of my life has led me on a journey that I never questioned or wondered about. Placing one step in front of the other I walked forward trusting and believing in my destiny. I imagine at times that fear gripped me and tried to delay that which I needed to learn by the power of  my ego to fill my head because of the situation of my home life. The journey has a way of allowing us to stumble at times and pick ourselves up and move forward on this path we call life.

Raised in to believe in God, I went to Catholic school where real nuns in black dresses and huge rosary beads put fear and belief in sin in everyone. That I loved was simply my foundation of being taught to be a good girl. The rituals of my religion I embraced with open arms. Prayer, church and confession were weekly if not sometimes daily. Somehow when I was younger the air on Sunday was different to me. The sounds and people on a Sunday were different, as well.  I cannot explain it but Sunday was a holy day and a family day. The silence in the air I imagine today was because no one worked and all the stores were closed. It was peaceful to go to the Avenue and find that every store was closed. This was a time when there were no malls imagine that! My dad would go to the bakery and after church we had cheese Danishes and apple turnovers. When I was older and no longer in Catholic school I skipped church and walked the Avenue. Once in high school there was no one to answer to and the taste of freedom too great. Needless to say, I held fast to my prayers but the rituals of my childhood slipped away. I was too busy now.

What does the word love really mean? Love in the dictionary states a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend. Such innocence of affection led me to marry my childhood boyfriend and begin one amazing ride. We grew up during these past forty-four years together in our marriage. We truly lived an existence that was separate at times and filled with emotion at others. I was taught by my parents as he was taught by his about how to be in a relationship. I cannot speak for his childhood because I was not living in his home. Mine although briefly described prior to this page, I saw a father who cherished his wife although he scared her to death because of his addictions. It was this witnessing of separation between them as my brother and I went with my dad everywhere and during the last thirty years of his life it was I who spent time with him and cherished him. My mom’s detachment due to fear of him and me allowed her to favor my brother so the lesson I learned was to favor no one.  My husband and I had created a separate existence through the years while raising four children. I find this interesting to realize today because our roles somehow reflected a part of our own upbringing.

Blessed to be a stay at home mom it was my husband who has provided everything for our family. His drive and desires enabled us to live a life filled with abundance. A man of many talents he is a builder of homes today because he started his journey in construction but at one time he owned and ran two restaurants, a resale automobile business and a record label, as well as, being a manager for our daughter’s singing career.

Still I wonder always when did the innocence leave. Is it simply part of living at this time on planet earth that somehow, somewhere more became a requirement to exist. Why did we choose to go further than our parents in every way? Was it offered to us because of our education, beliefs or simply the fact that change and growth is part of the plan for everyone. An example I think of was that I grew up without a car. At one time we had seven cars in our home. Another would be; I grew up with a telephone only in the kitchen. Our house had one in every bedroom and there were five, living room and even in our master bathroom which brought it to a total of eight. Is this all considered progress, want or necessity.

Now that we are alone in our large house we have only one television in the living room and we have downsized to five telephones and three cars. My life is abundant and yes I am grateful beyond words for the ride i have been allowed to experience. My yesterdays have taken me to a place of deep understanding that there is a reason for everything and there are no mistakes ever in life.

To come … the children!

Pray. Meditate. Journal

www.LindaAmato.com

LA BELIEVES …

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The Fears of Life Eventually Lead us to our Path, Passion and Purpose….

 

I believe with my entire self that anything is possible. I believe in love and kindness for all. I believe I have loved deeply and will always love deeply. It is the part of me that best describes who IAM! There was a time though that I feared life. Why? In retrospect I was lost and scared. I needed to believe first in who I AM. I created a pattern of letting my own self, my truth disappear and be taken from me. Strange words to write I imagine for others to read and yet it is the essence of life one needs to learn to see the beauty of which one can be in life. I have learned that we are all beautiful in our own way. We just glow brighter when we realize our own beauty comes from within. To let another rob us of who we are is a lesson to accomplish in returning to oneself, to simply remember our truth. This pattern we create to survive is our shield, mask or simply not who we believe we are allowed to be because of fear that has been gifted to us by our parents, spouses or society.

The path of life is to love the life you have chosen. To develop a trust that there is a process to all of life and that everything happens for a reason. Those who dare to believe otherwise refuse to learn about themselves. Clearly, I see the pain in life that we ourselves need to create due to the basic belief we choose when we choose fear. Once love replaces fear the pain will be no more. We all at one time need to grow our thoughts, words and actions with a belief that is positive by planting one seed at a time. A wholeness will then develop to set one apart. As we realize there is a part of us that is our spiritual self, we will then discover that these inner parts are deep and profound, as well as, perfect.

We create barriers in our own lives! Who or what is this barrier? It has to be an emotional state one gets into which is not contributing to who one really is. As the carrier of our own emotions we need to release the ideas, thoughts and feelings of yesterdays relationship with life that have become habits today. In doing so, a new beginning will unfold.

There is a definite oneness to life – a unity that connects us all yet we are individual with our own creativity to allow one to progress in life to complete self-harmony. We will then become balanced and have responsibilities through the service of this creativity to fulfill a life daily with this inner wisdom which is our self-harmony. Individually each one of us needs to attain this for ourselves. The barrier created of emotional attachment will be released then forever. The beauty of life is when we choose not to allow despair into  our being and to stop the growth of it to become a strength that is unacceptable. We must grow beyond what we ourselves can imagine.

There comes a time when we desire to travel alone in life without the strength of another. Why? We need to find the strength we possess within! When one flies to the highest change one can experience the discovery of who they can be will be waiting to complete them. This release of emotional attachment to our past is the grandest of complete growth and our independence. We all have the right to travel this journey of knowledge that we crave about who we are and who we can be.

There will then be a positive sight  to cling to and the path will be cleared of the debris of fear that had been gifted from one to another. The  body, mind and soul creates and craves to release the negativity of life that surrounds everyone. This is the needed escape to cleanse the thoughts of yesterday once and for all. The routine of the vicious cycle of life one is accustomed to will then end quite quickly. We cannot stop the fears of yesterday by the thoughts of trying to reason or ask why. That is not up to us IAM told. Embrace the lessons learned and leave the rest.

It is a bit difficult to be able to stand up and believe in oneself. Yet, it is needed and the only way is to follow the inner ache of the heart for more. The truth of who anyone can be is this accomplishment. We are never taught to love ourselves first but to do for others especially as women. It is expected that women must sacrifice their lives for those they love. Men also have the burden of being strong, successful, responsible and insightful to the needs of the women they love. Whether we are woman or man fear is of the ego. Love erases the fears of yesterday and connects one to God. Anyone can get a chance to live a life that can fulfill their desired dreams at any age. A miracle of insight and knowledge, of all one can desire, dream and imagine starts by the simple act of loving oneself.

One may wonder how one begins to love oneself and reach as deep within as they can to find their path, passion, and purpose – their power. It is not easy to relive the past looking for answers to all the questions that start with why! Know that there is a road to travel that is waiting for you. Leave the past where it belongs in the past and become aware of your present thoughts, words and actions. The steps can be many; from diet, to exercise, affirmations, Reiki, acupuncture, massage, meditation, prayer, energy healing and the inner work of taking pen to paper is the greatest therapy I have ever experienced to release all that no longer serves me today. My greatest moments in life have been when I connected to Mother Nature’s beauty; a walk at the beach, a walk around the block, sitting under the moon, swimming in water, even hugging a tree to ground myself to her and fill myself up with her strength. We are one as we all spend time with her daily in any form that we travel. Mother Earth connects us and supports us in all that we choose to be.

Pray, Meditate, Journal

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LA BELIEVES …

The Fulfillment of Space

“Know that we all have a path and purpose to seek…”

I have noticed that many people are so filled with fear that panic sets in constantly. These are the ones who are clueless and unable to accept that there is a process to life. How do we learn to love and accept that all things are possible? It is this freedom that waits for all. It is the insight we need to possess that we can all make a difference that encourages love daily as the main ingredient that is required.

I believe there is no reason to hurt anyone by our actions or words for we then create pain in our own lives. The pain that fills one so much that they need to inflict pain onto someone else does tremendous damage to them. It is this vicious cycle they live within that they cannot escaped from. They are living in a bleak world letting no light in! No joy can rise to comfort them, as they dig deeper into their own fears. Love, honesty and trust in the universe are what they need to set them free. It cannot be attained by their refusal of letting love lead the way.

They grasp this belief that they need a say in life even if their words are hurtful or unkind. To travel a road that is rocky and twisted because they live by what they believe is the only way. The refusal to seek another way or another choice eliminates that which is needed to fill them with joy and kindness. The blinders in life they refuse to take off do not allow them to see that anything one can dream is possible.

It is this inner refusal to trust the process of life because in reality they do not believe there is a process. They are so unbalanced in their souls journey that their soul is buried deep in pain unnourished. Their ego is strong and fully heard by all. It is this lack of balance by their negative beliefs in life that create fear and pain daily for them to project onto others. An enormous amount of change is required by the choices they are offered which can make a difference if they are willing. Unfortunately, many refuse to choose that which will comfort and nourish their soul. When one prays, meditates, journals, reads spiritual books change will come.

It may also be considered it is simply not their time to learn because they have refused for so long that this lifetime may come to an end before its time because they need another life experience to grasp their lessons to set them free. I believe time is of no importance but to live a life empty of love, joy, kindness and giving creates wounds of the heart.

Pray, Meditate, Journal

www.LindaAmato.com

LA BELIEVES …

My Inner Child

I wonder if at any given time during a persons life experience can the issues of their parents despair resurface?

Can abandonment be heredity?

Can anger be a seed planted to grow from generation to generation?

Aren’t we all One destined to experience a consciousness as One?

Does it not matter the love and support in ones life?

Why do most of us choose the fear and disappointment to cling to?

Why do we choose fear and not Love in most situations?

Why if fear which stems from the Ego and Love from God – do we gravitate towards fear?

What is this attachment we have to fear?

Do we gift our children on their journeys with our fears, unhealed wounds and personal negative beliefs for them to discover their truth?

Is it required that we heal first so they be healed?

What is God’s plan really for everyone?

I fell asleep the other night thinking of my mom. I miss her. I read a long time ago that you are never to go longer than two weeks from seeing your mom. I haven’t seen my mom in 2 years and 3 months. I have spoken to her on the telephone but she has no clue who IAM. Her choices in life have affected mine ever since I can remember. Sadly, there is nothing I can do now that she has dementia. Still I miss her. I miss a woman I never got to know!

It seems that the children of today are reminding me of my childhood at this time. While driving the other day, I imagined I saw her – my inner child jumping for joy and happy. However, I remember a time in the past when she hung on for dear life to survive the despair she suffered from. Today though she is healed from yesterday by the simple act of my acceptance of those I journey this life experience with. Throw in my belief that love is key and anything is possible.

The woman IAM today carries a sadness for the children of today. Many suffer from addictions to drug, alcohol and money. All suffer from the need to be acknowledged for who they are and all that they do. They lack the ability to just be themselves. They are not aware of their power, passion or purpose in life. We as a society are responsible for their belief in needing more, expecting more and at times demanding their right to have more which has wounded them to the depths of their soul. We as a society have forgotten that the best in life is the simplest. A sunrise, sunset, a walk, a hug, laughter or even just a kind word. To be giving without wanting anything in return.

Raised by parents that had very little schooling I have to write today that I had a good childhood. Especially, because back then I was not aware of the labels of society that characterize us into groups today. (My thoughts were that my daddy is acting funny, mommy says he is drunk and mommy and brother are afraid of him, so I have to take care of him.) Something so small separated our family in half. Divided we became – my father and me, my mom and brother. I found through my entire life I could talk to my dad about anything but not my mom. Why? I was told by my dad at ten years of age that my mom was afraid of me. (My ego puffed up that day!) Today it makes sense, as she feared him eventually she came to fear me. No one took the time to ask me if I was afraid though. I had to be afraid at one time because I was a small child. But in my heart I know I was a child who did as she was told period. It was how it was. Children listened to their parents. Catholic school also put the fear of God into me. I felt abandoned by my mom my entire life but did not know the word was abandonment more like I was unloved or unwanted. I had this inner ache that made me feel ‘blue’ at an early age.

I believe today that the hardest obstacles on everyones path is releasing the past no matter how terrible it was and moving away from the fears and pain. To accept and forgive whatever happened no matter what because it has happened and cannot be changed. To now be responsible for ourselves by forgiving what has filled us with despair yesterday. To know we are not to blame because another projected onto us their fears. We CAN choose everyday who we want to be, how we want to be and whether we want to be happy. Everyday is a new day, a beginning, a day away from yesterday that will manifest into tomorrow.

I know that IAM blessed today. I have changed from yesterday but still I travel a path IAM not sure of. IAM searching for what? I ask myself, when will this feeling end? I go back and forth in my mind…should I, could I,would I? What do I want? Who do I want to be? 

I believe IAM returning to a part of me from another life. At this age IAM traveling to discover the depths of my soul. At one time I thought I had arrived but this path is long and filled with lessons so I must simply take one day at a time. I surrender.

Pray, Meditate, Journal…

 Me and Mom…

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LA Believes …

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My Inner Child …

Not all memories from growing up fill me with despair.

There was joy, I know there was. There had to be!

I smile as I sit here in a very small cottage on an island called Fire Island, New York. Paradise is the only word that comes to my mind! To get here you have to take a Ferry or come by boat. There are deer walking around  as the ocean roars for all to hear.  Most people ride bicycles to get from town to town and transport their stuff with wagons once they arrive. Owners with their dogs are everywhere. Hurricane Sandy did much damage and many ocean front homes have been washed away or destroyed by her fury.  Still, Fire Island is bursting with people who own homes, renters and day people who come for a day to bask in the sun.

In the past we came here by boat when our children were small and I dreamed of a house of my own one day in this magical land.  The Universe answered my pray and nine years ago my husband found what I named Heart Beat Haven! This small cottage is attached to a 5 bedroom house with two full baths, kitchen, living room, deck and an outdoor shower. This is the first summer the big house has not been rented. In the past we shared our ‘little cottage’ with our children, family and friends.  ‘Little cottage’ is little,  a room with a futon, sink, refrigerator and small back deck. A spiral staircase placed in the corner takes you upstairs to a bedroom and bathroom. Simply, Paradise!

I marvel at the memory of my childhood. A stoop to sit on or a walk around the block during the summer. On weekends maybe Coney Island beach or Rockaway beach by train.  The truth is I was happy with very little. There was a freedom in no school and a few chores to help my mom. Life was family, friends and simplicity. I was maybe 5 years old when we lived in Greenpoint, NY and watched fireworks on the roof top over Manhattan. We struggled with episodes of my dad drunk and my mother terrified of him but there were good times.  We had very little, not even a car but I never wanted for anything. Both my parents worked and today I know they did the best they could because look who I have become.

As a mom of 4 grown children and 4 grand babies I marvel the time we spend together from boating with my children every summer when they were small and now enjoying my grand babies as they jump for joy when a deer passes by them or comes by the deck to eat. My life has grown tremendously from taking care of a drunken dad, a fearful mom and a beaten brother. My husband has provided us with a life that is abundant by the grace of God.  We have shared our homes and our hearts as best we could.

IAM positive that if you asked my 4 grown children of their childhood you would get 4 totally different stories.  In my heart I know they were loved and given a life that I myself could never have imagined. May they take their childhood memories and treasure how we as their parents tried to give them all that we had never had! We love them as we were taught how to love. My husband has shared with our sons all that he loved; hunting, fishing, boating and building of homes. He has shared our daughters dreams and supported their choices.

We are such a different generation compared to today’s because they have so much more. Yet, I wonder about the lack of respect, the influence of society taking its toll on them. I pray their inner child is able to one day embrace the love, the joy, the laughter and take the lessons learned with an open heart. I believe the hardest lessons  in life is being true to oneself and to  release negativity and look for the positive in all situations. We are a society that have created this need to expect too much because we want so much more than our parents  ever had. There comes a time when we need to be grateful for the life we have, those we love and the air we breathe.

Pray, Meditate, Journal …

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