LA Believes …

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My Inner Child …

Not all memories from growing up fill me with despair.

There was joy, I know there was. There had to be!

I smile as I sit here in a very small cottage on an island called Fire Island, New York. Paradise is the only word that comes to my mind! To get here you have to take a Ferry or come by boat. There are deer walking around  as the ocean roars for all to hear.  Most people ride bicycles to get from town to town and transport their stuff with wagons once they arrive. Owners with their dogs are everywhere. Hurricane Sandy did much damage and many ocean front homes have been washed away or destroyed by her fury.  Still, Fire Island is bursting with people who own homes, renters and day people who come for a day to bask in the sun.

In the past we came here by boat when our children were small and I dreamed of a house of my own one day in this magical land.  The Universe answered my pray and nine years ago my husband found what I named Heart Beat Haven! This small cottage is attached to a 5 bedroom house with two full baths, kitchen, living room, deck and an outdoor shower. This is the first summer the big house has not been rented. In the past we shared our ‘little cottage’ with our children, family and friends.  ‘Little cottage’ is little,  a room with a futon, sink, refrigerator and small back deck. A spiral staircase placed in the corner takes you upstairs to a bedroom and bathroom. Simply, Paradise!

I marvel at the memory of my childhood. A stoop to sit on or a walk around the block during the summer. On weekends maybe Coney Island beach or Rockaway beach by train.  The truth is I was happy with very little. There was a freedom in no school and a few chores to help my mom. Life was family, friends and simplicity. I was maybe 5 years old when we lived in Greenpoint, NY and watched fireworks on the roof top over Manhattan. We struggled with episodes of my dad drunk and my mother terrified of him but there were good times.  We had very little, not even a car but I never wanted for anything. Both my parents worked and today I know they did the best they could because look who I have become.

As a mom of 4 grown children and 4 grand babies I marvel the time we spend together from boating with my children every summer when they were small and now enjoying my grand babies as they jump for joy when a deer passes by them or comes by the deck to eat. My life has grown tremendously from taking care of a drunken dad, a fearful mom and a beaten brother. My husband has provided us with a life that is abundant by the grace of God.  We have shared our homes and our hearts as best we could.

IAM positive that if you asked my 4 grown children of their childhood you would get 4 totally different stories.  In my heart I know they were loved and given a life that I myself could never have imagined. May they take their childhood memories and treasure how we as their parents tried to give them all that we had never had! We love them as we were taught how to love. My husband has shared with our sons all that he loved; hunting, fishing, boating and building of homes. He has shared our daughters dreams and supported their choices.

We are such a different generation compared to today’s because they have so much more. Yet, I wonder about the lack of respect, the influence of society taking its toll on them. I pray their inner child is able to one day embrace the love, the joy, the laughter and take the lessons learned with an open heart. I believe the hardest lessons  in life is being true to oneself and to  release negativity and look for the positive in all situations. We are a society that have created this need to expect too much because we want so much more than our parents  ever had. There comes a time when we need to be grateful for the life we have, those we love and the air we breathe.

Pray, Meditate, Journal …

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LA BELIEVES …

LOVE BEINGS

Love is an emotion that fills us with joy. This joy is our happiness when we are filled with Love for another; our family, friends, job,  home, possessions. But, what about how we Love ourselves? We are Love Beings but yet we are miserable, sad and unhappy when we are not in a loving relationship, dislike our job and believe we need more stuff in our lives to make us happy. At times we feel overwhelmed by the life we have created! However, if we Love who we are, as we are, shouldn’t that be enough and everything else would fall into place? As a society we believe if we are not in a loving relationship to complete us something is missing in our lives. We seem to be under this impression that we are lonely and alone because we are not good enough or worthy enough. We lack something personally because we are missing the most important aspect in life which is a loving, supportive mate to share our existence with. We begin to crucify ourselves for not being good enough, thin enough, pretty enough or capable enough because there has to be something wrong with us. We are lonely! We are alone!

 

With this inner ache suffocating us we cannot comprehend life without another. Why?

I believe that we need to remember that each person in this society comes with their own agenda and their own childhood, as well as, their own personal contract with God! Love is this emotion that has to simply be the root of who one is. Many of us are wounded by our past, the words spoken to us from our parents or any negative, abusive behavior that we have endured. Yet, those who have abused us were taught themselves to abuse by how they were treated. We wear our abuse like a life preserver and choose to float through life and sometimes even sink to the deepest depth of despair. We are a society of generational beings who abuse ourselves because another has abused us. Words planted like seeds to grow float around our minds for years. The inner child screams at the self in fear, guilt, shame and grief because of the lies, illusions and attachment to a life empty of Love.

Everyone at one time or another is in a realtionship that fills them with happiness one moment and then disappointment. Many of us cry, laugh, support and encourage those we love but then feel we are not supported or encouraged in life. Life is about the cherished moments and difficult times. I believe that in any relationship there MUST be respect, for another’s space, one Must keep their individuality to know their truth. Everyone is good at something, do what you are good at and life will flow. Choose to be happy by connecting to your truth. The bottom line is that we are all doing the very best that we can and yet we attack one another for memories of moments from our past that ignite a pain. The triggers of the mind are the ego holding on to that which is done. You are not that child today and you can have your own voice now. We are all One and there is a consciousness to life that we all add to – choose your thoughts, words and actions wisely because they affect us all!

How can anyone Love another if they cannot Love themselves?

Who is not addicted to something?

Who has not been abused at one time in life?

Who has not been betrayed or themselves betrayed another?

Who has not despaired over another?

Who has not felt responsible for those they share their life with?

Who has not blamed themselves for everything wrong in their lives?

Who has not blamed another for everything wrong in their lives?

Who has not felt like a victim, slave or prostitute at one time?

I believe we do not lack anything and what is most important in life is to Love oneself, set free the belief that you are not complete so that you can surrender to your agenda. There are no mistakes, no accidents or sin in life. Everything happens for a reason. We create our tomorrow today by our thoughts, words and actions. Choose what you want to create carefully by releasing that which no longer serves you from your past. To be happy, joyful and whole one must be who they are! We are all Love Beings, believe this is so…

Pray, Meditate, Journal

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LA BELIEVES …

Forgiveness … but, why, when, how …

That small voice of our inner child is terrified and needs a hug, a kind word, acknowledgement and to know she is loved. What has scared her into being fearful is the screams, the anger, the shame and the dysfunctional pain of yesterday. Can she release the nightmares, the ache in her chest that fills her to hate another – a mother, father, brother, sister, uncle or friend. She carries the words, the punches, the screams and abuse today because she is trying to make sense of yesterday. Did she do something wrong? Was it her fault? Is she not allowed to feel loved? The answers to these questions haunt her mind and fill her dreams with a need to know. She is terrified of the answers as well because in her heart she believes she is not worthy of love today.

I love you as you are and I know you did nothing wrong. As a child how could you have done anything wrong. To release the fears of yesterday, the pain, and abuse forgiveness is key. Forgive yourself for you are an innocent. Forgive those who have harmed you for they had to be taught how to harm. We are all doing the best we can by those who have raised us as children yesterday. A child needs to know they are safe, are loved and that they have boundaries to adhere to. No one is allowed to hurt another with words, an object or their hands. Yet, we are a society filled with fear and pain by hateful words, flying objects and hands that abuse another by hitting or touching inappropriately.

Neglect to a child is no  boundaries to know what is allowed and what is not.

Neglect to a child is yelling, screaming and a parent who does not listen to them.

Neglect to a child is fighting between the parents.

Neglect to a child is not feeling safe in their own home.

Parents are powerful and the first law is respect for this child you have brought into the world. Children are born with unconditional love for their parents and when this love is not returned the inner child closes down and suffers a deep pain that they carry through life. How can a child forgive those who have created this inner fear, this feeling of being unloved, unwanted, not safe or just filled with guilt and shame. Pray, Meditate, Journal …

God is Love. Love is God. When we turn our belief to Him and trust that He has a plan for us we forgive the past, we forgive ourselves. There are only two aspects of life, the first is love which is God and the second is fear which is not God.

It takes more energy to  be angry then to laugh.

It takes more energy to hate then to love.

It takes more energy to stay mad then to forgive.

Pay attention to your emotions and shift them to be filled with love for yourself and others. The past can no longer hurt you because it is done. The present is your choice to live a life filled with joy by moving past the moment of pain which cannot be changed. We all have our stories but we are all given ‘free will’ by God so change the story to one of love for all no matter what has happened yesterday. You are responsible for your thoughts and once you change them to positive, loving, kind thoughts you will change yourself and those around you. May God bless you with inner peace, joy, happiness and love because you are a child of God and you are here to be like Him. Don’t let another dim your light even a little.

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LA BELIEVES

America’s Heart is broken as we are witness to those we love dying through the act of violence. Unexpectedly, we are taken down to our knees and while there we must pray. We must connect to the light within and forgive. Love is the only essence in life that can heal. God loves us all and when we are connected to His love we too can love like Him. It is a sadness that will terrorize the moment and fill all with fear, anger, hate, and disbelief for years to come. Momentous is this time, never to be forgotten, especially when a child is taken from his family.

I believe that the ultimate mystery in life is not knowing why there is suffering, sorrow and death! We are clueless to the reason such things as; terrorist bombings, killings of any kind, murder, rape and even why war is in our lives. Death is this ultimate mystery in life because we can never make sense of it, especially when death is through violence of any kind. 

I believe somehow there are many in life today who have forgotten that they MUST connect to God daily. Death creates this emotion of love that is taken beyond the boundaries of those we know, to those we do not know that suddenly creates change in our world because of violence. Where there is fear there can be no love. Where there is no love there is no belief in God. May God who loves us all forgive those who have fallen off their path to a dark world of fear and for their unkind choices.

Pray, Meditate and Journal your fears away…

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LA Believes

There comes a single moment in time when the whispers of the soul starts to scream. One can no longer handle the fear, guilt and shame because grief fills the heart for that which is no longer and can never be. There are these days in life where we fear the past, as well as the future. Our hearts begin to ache for what, we wonder? Something is missing; a hug, a tender word, or maybe just to sit in silence. What is this despair that fills the heart daily? It is at that moment that the dawn of change is created and transformation begins. Many of us look outside ourselves for the answers but the truth of who we are rests within. The truth of life is that everyone must love who they are as they are and then the heart will fill with this joy and love for all will be manifested.

To grow forward in life one must ignite the fire, burn the past, walk through the flames and start  to breathe fresh air again. The act of fire releases the past symbolically when performed with intention, love and an open heart!

Many of us carry proudly the unkind words we have heard over and over again in our heads, different forms of abuse, along with this inner sorrow of fear, guilt and shame  that is not our own but that which is given to us by those we love and trust. Through radio, television, newspapers, and movies our society has been given fear on a daily basis.

I believe in ritual, candles, incense and cleansing ourselves, and our homes by creating sacred space with intention, prayer and meditation. These simple acts that are ignited with flame can allow a journey of transformation to begin. Start your day with meditation, light incense as a ritual of cleansing yesterday! Today is a new day, begin again.

Find time to write to those who have hurt you and thank them for the strength they endowed you with to get to this stage in your life, then burn the past once and for all with a small ritual and begin again as the unique, beautiful, gifted spiritual person you are. Many of us fear the act of sitting with a journal and pouring our hearts out, I say pour your heart out and then release it all by the act of burning it. Another ritual is to walk outside surrounded by Mother Nature and see the beauty, hear the birds, wind and trees speak to you of the magic of life, or just step outside and thank Mother Earth for this new glorious day, to begin again!

Releasing that which no longer serves you today is the key to unlock the door of tomorrow with an open heart filled with love. Today is a new day, begin again!

 

LA Believes

There is a very thin line I am experiencing between the demons of the first three chakras; fear, guilt and shame when it comes to being held accountable in life to the passions of the soul. I ask are these mine to claim or are they projected upon me? We live in a society where fear, guilt and shame are expected as a part of our life experience. I reject this belief! I AM fearless! I  AM guiltless! I AM shameless! There can be no other avenue in my mind at this time.

Whether one is man or women it matters not what is taught or gifted to us by our parents, friends, family, or society. If any of it fills us with fear, guilt or shame we must ask ourselves is it truly ours or is this a projection of how we have been raised or taught to accept as our life experience. 

The soul knows best of the passions that will nourish each of us daily. Whether it be our foundation and connection to Mother Nature, the need to create through any form of art that fills us with joy as we move with the flow of life forward and to stand in our own power to know who we are and walk the path we have been guided on is the essence within that is sacred to all individually.

Acceptance of our journey allows a belief that we accept and respect another’s journey by offering unconditional love. It seems such a simple belief to say and know in your heart, ” I love you just as you are!” However, few can truly know this feeling within themselves if they never reject their own fear, guilt and shame. I ask of all to look within and find the love for oneself as you are first so that you can begin to love another truly. Let’s project the feeling of LOVE onto one another!

Just let it go … Meditate … Journal … Pray … Walk … Affirm

LA Believes

Who am I today? How did I get to where IAM today?

These are the questions that have popped into my mind  over and over. I have struggled for years with not knowing the direction of my life. Married at twenty, raising four children and now I am a grandmother to four grand babies and still I do not know who I am. How can that be?

I have been searching it seems for my entire life for this answer. I have meditated and prayed  for this answer, as well.  I have filled many a journal over the years inquiring about an answer. I have read literally thousands of books, gone to many workshops and studied under many teachers searching for this answer. I have become a Reiki Master, a Certified Holistic Health Counselor, Metaphysical Practitioner and Author, imagining I would find  this answer. I studied Science of Mind, ACIM, Kabbalah and the Teachings of Abraham by searching on a yearly basis for an answer. This past year I signed up to study with Deborah King once again seeking to know of an answer.

I have walked the streets of my neighborhood, the mall, skipped at the beach with tears of joy waiting for this answer.

I have been called a student of life, a healer, a counselor, a comfort to many and very spiritual and intuitive  from  women and men. I wondered and was amazed at how others saw me, just maybe one of those labels is the answer?

At night when I lay down my head on my pillow, I close my eyes and have recited for the many years the following:

“Thank you dear God, Blessed Mother, Archangels, Angels, Spirit Guides, Totem animals and my Lord and my Lady Yesuah Messiah and St Mary Magdalene for this day. The moon, the sun, the stars in the sky and the earth that grounds me.. Thank you for the foods that I have eaten. I thank my Ancestors! I pray the Glory Be, a Hail Mary and a Our Father. I wait a second and pray God is Love, Love is God, God is all there is. I look within and smile to myself if I have spoken to all four of my children, especially on the rare occasion when I see all four! I thank God for another day with my husband. I say and imagine in my mind’s eye, IAM as God created me, a Spiritual Being of Light And Love. I create joyful experiences in my life, I trust the process of Life. IAM a Spiritual Healer, IAM a Spiritual Teacher, IAM a successful Author. IAM healthy, happy and whole body, mind and soul. IAM safe, IAM fearless, IAM abundant…”

It seems to me that I have struggled with God’s plan, His belief in me  because of my own doubt and disbelief in myself that I now release these questions for they no longer serve me. I believe finally I have received the answers to my questions and I can let go and let God lead me on this journey, as He has been obviously doing.

It feels great to know that IAM not in control and that there is a Divine Intelligence that is leading me to be “Me!” I have been truly led all of these years and I believe the questions stem from my ego-self but finally my God-self simply whispered a little louder. All I need to accept is that All is Well, as is…

GOD DOES NOT BLINK

… Why do we react (blink) to every word that we do not agree with?

Is it possible to not blink as God does?

How do we stop, look and listen without getting into a confrontation?

God does not blink is my mantra now when someone believes they have all the answers and know everything. It allows me to smile at myself and realize only God knows what is going on in any situation at any time.

Kabbalah teaches that we react to others in situations and create chaos and pain to enter the relationship by getting into a conversation that can only be deemed confrontational. The battle begins and the words that are spoken and painful in some form or way once said cannot be taken back The tears well up, the anger is ignited and fight begins. Everyone believes they are right. What if what one is arguing about is truly of no importance but actually a waste of time, energy and words. In reality it all comes down to someone being right and someone being proven wrong.

In the past I prayed when I felt a confrontation was upon me. I felt the attack and the words of abuse but I centered myself and in my head I prayed a Hail Mary. It calmed me and took me out of the moment so that I could not react and release the other person from what they wanted, which  was a fight to prove they were right and I was wrong. It is very easy to forget though and sometimes before I knew it I was talking too much and getting too heated. Talking too much and feeling the heat rise is another lesson to learn to be silent and not confrontational. Sometimes we all need to let go and let God …

God Does Not Blink

…Critical Language…

Critical language is how you express yourself because it has been years since your belief system had a kind word to say to you about you. Who you are and become is who you believe yourself to be by the conditioning of your own childhood. How your parents, family, friends, teachers and society in general have projected you should be. It does not always stem from words but from the world you live in, the radio you listen to, the television shows you watch and the movies you pay money to see as well as the type of magazines and books you read.

Along the way on your path and journey through life you have erased the loving baby you were born to become as an adult, into this critical person because you have fallen victim to a life that is all body and ego. There is no mind that is connected to your heart that nourishes your soul because fear is part of your life daily. You need now to discover all that you fear and release it so that you can see literally with the eyes within that love is one of the lessons you are here to remember and re-learn. In doing so, you begin the process of discovering your ‘soul work,’ which will nourish and transform you…

God Does Not Blink

…Condescending…

Condescending behavior stems from the belief that you are better than another. However, this is just once again the fear that someone might be better than you. God has created us all equal and it is our belief that we are either prettier, thinner, wealthier, smarter and better than each other. You create this attitude toward people who cross your path in life and even with people who are your family and friends because somewhere, someone took a look at you and told you that you were inferior to them. Once this seed gets planted and watered, sometimes daily it grows into the deepest of roots of your being and you cannot break free because the fear and pain eat away at you.

We are all believers in one form or another that someone else knows more than us. When the truth in life is that we are all at different levels of consciousness. We have been able in prior lifetimes to learn certain lessons and now we are here in this lifetime as well to learn certain lesson that we can carry forward as that part of who we are that is connected to God…

 

God Does Not Blink

…Controlling…

Controlling becomes a way of living your life because for some reason you have this need to believe you know what is best for everyone due to the many regrets when you reflect on your own life. However, trying to control another by telling them what to do, punishing and getting angry because you do not agree with their choices and how they are living constitutes that you are once again projecting onto another your fear and pain. The words floating in your mind are ones of regret and remorse, “what if I had done this or that?”

Once again, you are unhappy because you believe you know what is best for another due to the fact on how you believe you have messed up your life. Your choices in life are for you to mend and for you not to assume another has no right to choose for themselves.

The bottom line is that all you need to do is to learn the lessons from all life experiences and nourish yourself. Forgive yourself and let the past be released so that you can meet your soul by becoming aware…

God Does Not Blink

…I ask you…

What if the only reason we are born to this planet, to these parents and into this family is to learn the lesson of love for those we communicate with daily so that we can then share the inner peace that love brings to all? When we love unconditionally, which means no abuse in any form, controlling behavior, condescending attitudes, critical remarks, judgmental know it all words, negative beliefs about life and opinionated behavior that says we know everything then and then are we learning the lesson of love.

Abuse is any form of words or actions that upset another person you claim to love or even towards a total stranger. You are upset how your life is going and you lash out at another because you feel that you have the right to project onto another pain because you yourself feel fear and pain in your reason for being. Tears only make you angrier because you are not connected to the nourishment of your soul to soften the blows in life. You have denied yourself for so long that you have become this person that lives daily in fear of life. You are abusive to yourself by the thoughts in your mind, the words that come out of you mouth and your actions stem on cruelty because you are a time bomb waiting to blow up. In the end, you forget that you love this person, that this stranger is innocent and doing the best he or she can and that you have no right to treat anyone the way you treat yourself with fear, pain and a total negative outlook…