Life is Constantly Changing

“The magic of water has been in my life for years now as I wake up every day to  behold the beautiful sight of Mother Nature…”-Linda Amato

My Backyard View

As I sit here in my library and fill with a heart full of gratitude for the days that are moving me forward. I am blessed. My life is wondrous. I am connected to Spirit. This belief of mine although alternative and difficult for many to comprehend has been rooted out of the depth of my soul from many lifetimes, I believe. I can remember the day even at this moment when I wondered if there was ‘more?’ I felt there had to be more to this experience we all call life. It was then that I begged for guidance in 2003 which led me to today.

“If you can’t be in awe of Mother Nature, there’s something wrong with you.” -Alex Trebek

It seems I was never truly aware but I did know I was not alone so I just moved one step in front of the other being a good girl. Quiet and silent was my belief, after all “Silence is golden!” As a child I was stronger then my brother and mother. I could handle more at a young age. There was an essence within that told me to be kind, loving and helpful. Never ever was I to be confrontational. Why? I wonder today why I could not have the power of speech until I was fifty. My answer this day is because it served me well to be silent and allowed me to be awakened to my truth. I know this because I believe there is a reason for everything.

“The most important this is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.” -Audrey Hepburn

IMG_0749Raised in a time of change I never chose to be a rebel or  hippie yet, I felt I was never in the box. I obeyed my parents, elders and everyone. I questioned if they were right in my head but I never questioned them. There was always that inner essence that guided me daily. Human behavior is something I delight in and since I began studying with Deborah King in 2012 I have learned the many reasons we as humans do what we do.

At my age today: as a daughter, wife, mother, and grandmother I realize today the importance of women in my life. I have collected a tribe of my own that I have fallen in love with and I believe it is my way of being of service to them by sharing all that I can that is of alternative belief.  To begin with there is no right and no wrong way of living YOUR life experience. How can there be such a belief. We are here because we choose to be here on this planet at this time. We are a combination of soul and human. Our soul part is love and our human part is ego. That is where the battle within begins.

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.” -Cesare Pavese

We choose which one we are going to nourish daily by our thoughts, words and actions. What do you believe today that is different from what you believed yesterday? Change is constant because there is no way we can stay exactly the same in our thoughts, words and actions unless we fuel a life dedicated to negativity, unhappiness, regret and anger as our path because of something that happened a long time ago to us. As beings of love and light it is very difficult to choose the path of the ego/human belief daily. It is frustrating to realize that being angry or unhappy is not our nature. Especially since love seeps in when we bask in the beauty of Mother Nature, see or hold a baby, a sunset, smell a rose, fall in love, make love, celebrate a wedding, or birthday or just receive a compliment.

My question to you then is why not choose to nurture your soul/love part more often. When we choose to love we choose to transition and grow higher on the path of our journey. To choose love we must forgive ourselves and anything that happened by another to us in our past. We all have a choice to live as we choose to live so go for it! Just let go of anything that no longer serves you today.

“It is as grandmothers that our mothers come into the fullness of their grace. – Christopher Morley

I have chosen love and I believe that I have been able to nourish and nurture my soul daily. Is it easy, you ask? I can honestly say it is getting easier! The wonder of my life is the children that I share my life with from the ages of 8, 6, 4, 3, 2, and 1 month. It is magical to hold a baby in your arms and know she is heaven sent as an angel to share her love and light in the world. To talk to a child and listen, really listen to what scares him or what fills him with joy. To wrap your arms around a sleeping child and carry him into his home to rest all toasty and really heavy. To bathe a child and laugh as he laughs at the wonderment of water that fills him with delight. To watch the ballerina from within surface in her as she spins around or sings a song. Then there is the child that fills your heart to bursting for the simplicity of his outlook on life. Yes, I am truly blessed.


I remember my children growing up and I always took time to listen to their stories and imagine today if you can, because they still reach out to me to tell me their stories. As a mother I learned the greatest of lessons from my mom to love unconditionally all, especially the children. As I sit here and type I wonder what will be because my grand babies are coming over to go in the pool and I am ready to play and swim with them because they are pure beings of love and light still and I know it. Yet, I also notice the changes that are screaming to be let free by them to be able to just be. Many children today are new souls and are clueless as to how to live in our world They need us as old souls to teach them. What better way to teach them then to love them unconditionally, hear them and explain life to them.

“A house needs a grandma in it.” -Louise May Alcott

I’m amazed at the love that fills my heart for these grand babies that are being raised by my children. I reflect back on my days of being their mom and truly can write I don’t know how I did it, except for the one fact that I loved every moment. I enjoyed being a mom and all it entailed! I live in a very large home that most days now is quiet. There is no more laughter, crying, yelling or playing. Yet in my minds eyes I can almost see them all at the dinner table. Having dinner when they were older was my favorite time as we sat for hours discussing their day. Today I believe I raised four amazing children because I simply took the time to really hear what they had to say. Now the voices of six grand babies fills my home when they visit and sadly, I know the silence will return when they leave. The beauty of my life is that I enjoy everyday just looking outside my kitchen to the love of Mother Nature that has comforted me all these years.

Meditate. Pray. Journal.




The Power of Belief

Today, IAM 62 years old and I no longer believe as I was raised to believe because I journeyed a path to find my truth. In dong so, I found that God rests within me, actually in my heart. An avid reader I devoured books on other teachings when it came to individual beliefs. In my travels I discovered prayers that comforted me as well as nourished a part of me which I call my soul. My belief in God as my truth led me to study that which opened me to a main religion which I call LOVE!

Through the act of journaling IAM able to discover a life I chose, to be a beacon of light for others. There was a time I was not aware of this light that shined from within. Today, I know it is my purpose – my passion! IAM led by Spirit! This inner voice is clearly heard by me. I follow its guidance. It is my belief that IAM never alone. I smile as I write this because I deeply know there is a comforting world waiting to be embraced by all. I trust with my heart that all is exactly as it is meant to be for me. In reflection just in this past year I notice I listened to the guidance I received and became a way shower for others. I thank you God for that!

The past year, 2013, was a year of love; celebrating birthdays, anniversaries and marriages. We all turned a year older and my two youngest grand babies completed their first year.  The months were filled with parties as we came together with family and friends as one filled with laughter and joy. I have been always looking for my place and I feel I have found my way now. 2013 was the year I began my weekly blog and gave birth to a Monthly Healing Circle of Love which has brought women together in a safe haven to share their stories. The discovery of one’s passion and purpose as I have accomplished is through many different avenues but the main sign is that which excites you and when performing it time flies by.

Meditating, praying and journaling are my rituals to start my day. The routines of  daily life are the same for many I imagine because we exist solely on what we know and how we were raised. Personally, i was never taught to meditate before I opened the door to alternative belief. However, the depth of my meditating did not escalate until I studied with Deborah King and was taught by her. I believe today that I can be the person that is calm, worry-free and accepting because of the simplicity of meditating 20 minutes a day. Praying and journaling have been part of my journey as long as I can remember but now it is consistently a daily part of my life.

Today, the fifteenth day of the New Year I look forward to the surprises that await in this coming year. The books I will be led to read. The men and women’s stories I will hear. Those people the Universe will send to me to share all that I know as a Holistic Counselor. The times we shall come together with love in our hearts as family and friends. The wonder and excitement in the eyes of my children as they are amazed by the wonder of their children. The miracles that will set us free and that will open our hearts towards one another. The joy that fills my soul when I speak to my children all in the same day. The happiness I receive when I spend time with my grandbabies. I believe I live a wondrous life experience and I do look forward to not knowing the future but opening my heart to all.

I have discovered that I have reached inner peace that comforts my daily journey through my beliefs in a universe that guides me forward in this world. Meditating, prayer and journaling have become a passion and nourishment every day. Through these actions IAM nurtured. These tools are my primary food in life, as well as, a few others I have in my tool box while living a human experience as a Spiritual being.

The following is excerpted from my book: Making Believers: Connect to the Light within…


I need to do this for myself

I need to find solace

I need to feel silence

Within me runs a current of energy

That desires to be ignited

And burn brighter for all eternity

God will accomplish this dream to nourish me

As I spread His Love through my creativity!


Meditate, Pray Journal

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Being thankful and filled with gratitude at this time of year also comes with a bit of sadness for many. This past week I found myself a bit emotional while driving in my car. A song on the radio reminded me of my dad who has been gone since 1998. Thoughts filled my head that Thanksgiving day was my brother’s favorite holiday but he’s been gone since 1988. I think of my mom who stopped making his favorite stuffing that year and has dementia now and has drifted away from me as well. I allow the emotions to fill me up as tears fall knowing that there is nothing I can do about their choices in life. I write the word ‘choices’ because I read once that all deaths are considered a form of suicide because we manifest and create our lives by our thoughts, words and actions. I breathe in, take a moment to send them all my love. Yes, I miss them. Yes, I do wish they were here. Still I take the memories stored deep in my heart and smile at the ride I have been on.

My life is full with unbelievable abundance as I will share my home with those who are my family and friends. I have an amazing group of characters in my life and they bless me because I laugh with them, cry and fill with love for each one. I have been led down this path of acceptance and it comforts me to know that IAM not responsible for another’s actions. We all have free will and allowed to choose for ourselves how we want to be portrayed to others. I bless everyone with a small thought today to be a being of love during this time of being thankful and gathering with family and friends.

My oldest son has given me the gift of another daughter to love and three beautiful grandchildren. My mind fills with the memory of my life as a mom all those years ago and I wonder how did I do it all. Being a mom is a great gift but also emotional and at times filled with struggle.

My oldest daughter has blessed me with another son to love as well and a beautiful grandson. I watch her and see myself. My God, she has become me. It’s true! She is calmer and enjoying her son, husband and home which is all I can ask for. We as daughters either fight to be different then our mom or just like her. I see through the eyes of a deep well of love that there is a tiny part of my heart in all my children.

At this time my younger son who has never left home is following his heart to move out and expand his soul. I gather my thoughts around this and fill with an emotion that I shall now be where I started 42 years ago … just me and my husband. We have come full circle! The silence in the home is welcomed but at the same time the echo of their laughter and voices will always fill me up. A mother never forgets the simplicity of their child while they nursed them, held and hugged them. Those are life long moments that I shall always treasure.

My youngest daughter is the bravest of all my children as she has chosen a path of being of service and traveling far from all of us and now lives in California. Sometimes as a mom all I had to do was listen, support and say ‘yes’ to them. Of course I mixed in love to let them know how perfect they all are in their own way. My little girl amazes me the most because she is living a life connected to her soul’s passion and purpose. I wonder if I had anything to do with that?

IAM grateful that they all chose me as their mom. I know I have my memories to carry on my path forward and I pray somehow they too remember the fun, laughter, joy and love I embraced them with all those years ago and still do.

I marvel at these amazing people that surround me and help me to live my truth and expand my soul by the lessons I learn from them still. I know they have literally been gifts and on loan for me but every night I smile when I remember the joy that I have spoken to each of my four that day.

Rituals, traditions, gathering together with people who have been there through the years is my greatest reason for being filled with gratitude.  IAM abundant! I have been blessed with an amazing mother-in-law, father-in-law, sister-in-laws, brother-in-law and nieces and nephews, as well as, friends. I would like to take this time to thank them for all the years we shared  the holidays through the happy and sad times. I love you all. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Pray. Meditate. Journal.



Image“IAM possessive of myself and extremely protective of my passion…”

On this day Halloween 2013 I find myself reflecting on my children that will bring their children later to my house for me to see their costumes. Their excitement, laughter and joy will nourish me! Ages 5, 4, 1 and 1; I remember my own as they delighted in this day.

It is with respect and by choice that I have always treated my children. IAM still at  this age able to learn from them. It is our honest view of the life we live today that allows information between us to be shared. IAM their mother but IAM also a person they can talk to about anything. I do not judge them at all for I look at them at times as knowing more than I do. It is this trust I have in them that makes me realize their own strengths. When they cry – I cry! When they laugh – I laugh! When they love – I love! It is this sharing of life I have accomplished. I always believed I was a very possessive person but in reality I was led in life to be protective of those I loved. Only I knew them, I believed, and as I reflected deep down I knew they would be mine for just a short time. Now that they are able to protect themselves I see less of them but IAM called if an answer is needed.

It is the hardest part of being a parent when suddenly it is time to allow them to live their life which you brought them into the world to fulfill. I compare it always to when I taught them to ride a bicycle. As I ran by their side holding on to the back of the seat, I tried to judge the right moment to let go. If they fell, they jumped right back up to try again. As in life it is that moment a parent needs to let go, so that their children can try it on their own.

One must live their own existence and to do so, one has to make their own choices. My children have been guided by me to learn to choose. Life and living has a way of allowing this lesson to be born at an early age. It is the parent that respects and listens to their child that will see the choices a child is capable of even at an early age. 

I look at them today with love that fills my entire body. They do not see what I do for I have the memories of their youth forever implanted in my mind’s eye. It is with wonder when they appear at my door that I fill with delight. Is it not every mother’s dream that their child be productive in their life and happy? I have raised four exceptional children that are gifted and capable to know their passion early in life for I have let them always be true to the child of yesterday. It is this that puts a smile of love in my eyes for them as my heart skips a beat at the mere mention of their names.

Today I enjoy yesterday even more only because of the benefits offered by my dedication to being a mom and housewife. IAM forever thankful that I was allowed to accomplish this. This is the beauty of being able to do what one loves doing with passion and creativity. I can attest to the miracles I have been given and the dreams I dreamed of shall now be fulfilled all because IAM accepting and grateful for all IAM blessed with.


Pray, Meditate, Journal

LA BELIEVES … Happy Mother’s Day …

My Grand babies...

Franco, Jameson, Hunter James & Hudson

As we approach the yearly celebration of all Mothers this Sunday, I am amazed at the passing of time and the beauty of becoming a grandmother. I have travelled a journey filled with discovery of who I personally came here to be. I was a little girl once and I adored my mother but even at a young age I was aware of her favoritism for my brother and her fear of me. How did I at 8 years of age know this? Today I know, we are spiritual beings with an instinct that we deny maybe because we are in denial of our power or scared ourselves to imagine the truth we carry in our heart about our mother because a mother’s greatest part in life is to love her children unconditionally.

I imagine today as I reflect on yesterday’s lessons I learned from my mom that she learned all she knew from her mother and was not aware that she could make changes or think for herself. She was raised in a family of nine and has confided in me that her mom favored her brothers! An Aha … moment for me! My mom twenty-two years ago was the grandmother to 7 grandchildren when she decided to return to live in Puerto Rico where she was born. It was then when I began to travel yearly on her birthday to be with her.

I, today have four exciting, amazing, spirited, beautiful and loving grand babies. She has never met any of them! As I have written in prior blogs about her, she suffers from dementia for some time now. I have sent her albums of pictures but I have to imagine and believe she has some kind of recollection at least of me in these pictures. Dementia is a sad and hurtful part of my life because I chalk it up to once again feeling abandoned by her. I forgive her for yesterday! I forgive her for today! I love her, she is my mom!

I am blessed with four grand babies under the age of four and I am filled with a need, a desire, a depth so deep within me to know these babies as I know my own children. As a mother of four brilliant young adults and four brilliant grand babies I am grateful for all that I learned from my mother but I am thankful that I knew to make some adjustments to what she believed and to grow into a mother who loves unconditionally each one of them as they are … with no favoritism.

I watch my daughter with her son and fill with this inner essence of knowing that I did a good job. I am astonished that my daughter is celebrating her first mother’s day and I am proud that she has grown into the women, daughter, wife and mother she is. Her love runs deep and I tell her to imagine that I love her more than she loves her Franco only because I know her longer. Although he has stolen our hearts in 10 1/2 short months I know there is so much down this path that he will gift us with on his own journey. I will be there for every moment, I promise! These years of being a mother and now a grandmother are the best part of my life experience which I treasure.

On the other side of the coin I have a daughter-in-law who is the mother to the other two boys and one girl. Blessed again to know such a woman as she, am I! The oldest Hunter, being four, stole just a piece of my heart until I gave a piece to Hudson when he arrived, as well as, a piece for Franco and then Jameson. My heart expands for these grand babies in a way that I could never have thought possible. I call them all my babies because I am aware of the generational blessing that has brought us all together as a FAMILY. There will be so many more babies for me to love in the future that I am jumping for joy already.

Motherhood is that which can fill one’s children with love or fear. May those who are reading this as daughter or son, mother or grandmother or even if you are a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law, know the power you possess and know your mother did or is still doing the best she knows how. We must forgive that which no longer serves any of us. Respect for your mother no matter what is key to your own happiness. Let go and Let God!