BEING GRATEFUL … I AM THANKFUL!

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I am filled with awe for the life we as humans are experiencing. It’s a very exciting/emotional time. With the holidays approaching, I look forward to the decorations, music, brisk fresh air and snow. My heart skips a beat when I see the first snowfall each year. There is such a joy in the memories from my childhood and my children growing up. Now I am blessed to have grandchildren to play in the snow with.

What are the main reasons one is thankful for anything at this time of year? I always wonder at the happiness but yet sadness that travels this path during the season. Like many, I too have lost people who have transitioned home. Today, I recall the memories I shared with them and I feel grateful that we shared years and for those times we laughed together. All of our minds are filled with pictures of what was and how happy or sad we have been with certain people.

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A disease is the hardest to bear. A sudden death, so unexpected knocks one to the floor. A suicide makes us question and ask why of the universe? We cry, scream and suffer from the moment of death because of what will not be. I like to imagine and celebrate the life that was! Knowing that there is a reason that everything happens in the world, I am grateful for all those who I have travelled this path and journey with whether for years or for a short time. It is the memories which I am thankful for this Thanksgiving!

The holidays are for the children, family, gift giving and generosity. It is a joyous time for all as we fill our hearts with love for mankind and those we share our lives with. Forgiveness is key to what was but is not now possible for many. Go into your photo book in your mind and fill with glee at those happy times of yesterday. The silly times where you were excited, joyful and laughing. We all have them…

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This year I would like to bless all that have lost a loved one through the act of a hurricane, earthquake, terrorists attack, suicide, natural causes, cancer or any other disease or mass killing of any kind. Let us join together in prayer for them and for us. Set a candle in celebration for their life this year during the holidays and forgive those who are now free by their own hands. May they all rest in peace as we pray for them.

We are one in life and in death. We are one through the years. We are one in every country on this planet. We are capable of love towards each other if we just look at all that we have to be grateful for and thankful for at this moment in time. Peace of mind, love in our hearts, kindness on our lips, and forgiveness of ourselves and others will bring joy to each one of us.

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There was a time years ago, when the crack in my heart opened wider and wider. Death, depression, fear, and abuse dragged me to the ground. Now as I look back, I see that we as a society are here to be the best we can be. To take the lessons learned and thrive.To be of service, to become our truth. To live our dream and to let others live theirs.

Meditation is the tool that can rescue everyone from their cracked heart. Simple to just sit but difficult to incorporate into ones life daily. I tell many to meditate and they say they do not know how. I cannot imagine starting my day without this amazing comfort of silence in my mind connected to spirit. During this time of year, if there is sadness in your life, despair of any kind, even fear go to www.DeborahKing.com  and learn how to meditate with your own personal mantra. Trust me you will be thankful that you did.

I struggle no more! I fear no more! I despair no more! I am peace! I am love! I am joy! That is the beauty of meditation and I am thankful for being guided to have known, I needed to sit in silence yesterday, today and tomorrow. Being grateful. Being thankful. One needs to go through their mind at the end of the day and reflect on those they were with, those they spoke to, their actions and words. Then take a breath and rejoice in the life experience they have manifested. I am grateful! I am thankful! Three words that make a difference as you go to sleep.

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It matters not the news, radio, television or what others say that fill you with fear. There is nothing to fear, there is only love to be embraced, to be thankful for. We are connected by the earth we all walk, the water that flows for all to use, the fire in the sky that beams down on us when the sun warms us, and the air that we breathe. Be thankful for these elements that join us as a family of one no matter what is going on in our lives. Try desperately to remember and use as a mantra, Love is all there is!

Pray! Meditate! Journal!

www.LindaAmato.com

 

 

LA BELIEVES IN LOVE…

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Why do we not choose to love in all situations?

As a woman, wife, mother and grandmother I find myself dealing with many different types of personalities that are generated by fear. I believe that we come into this world as loving beings of spirit and our purpose here is to love unconditionally. However, many believe in conditional love which is painful to behold as a child growing up. The essence of conditional love is, “if you do not do what I say, you will be punished.” Growing up in a home of fear myself because of a parent with the addiction of alcoholism I learned to be afraid. I learned to not know who I was or how to act or speak. It was this belief that allowed anger to settle into the core of my being. All I wanted to be was a child but responsibilities were forced on me at a very young age that I did not understand how to react to. A memory at 5 years of age haunts me to the point that at that moment there was no one to protect me but myself. I cringe that at such a young age I chose such a drastic defense pattern.

How does one manage  to protect themself in fearful situations?

There are characterologies or what I have learned to also be called defense patterns that we develop at a young age which are not our truth but which we pick to protect ourselves. There are only five defense patterns that we choose at one time or another because of the fears of our childhood.

Schizoid is the first defense pattern which developes before or after birth because of the trauma of  a hostile mother. This person evokes intellectualization. The eyes are vacant fixed and scared. The person is hyperactive and ungrounded. The defense action is to leave the body out of the top of their head when triggered as an adult today. The physical build is elongation with right/left imbalances because they are always twisted out of their body. The style of communication is in absolutes. There is a double bind for they believe, “To exist means to die.”  This defense pattern demands the right to be and to exist. A schizoid’s mask statement is, “I’ll reject you before you reject me!”To set boundaries are required of this person today.

Oral … developes during babyhood feeding because of the trauma of abandonment.  This person evokes mothering. The eyes are pleading like a puppy dog. This person is hypoactive with low energy. The physical build is thin with a collapsed chest. The style of communication is to ask questions. The double bind for this type of person is, “If I ask, it’s not love; if I don’t ask, I won’t get it.” This defense pattern demands the right to be nurtured and fulfilled.  An Oral’s mask statement is, “I don’t need you!” This type of person needs to own their needs and stand on their own two feet.

Psychopath .. developes in early childhood because of the trauma of seduction and betrayal by  a parent’s untruthfulness. This person evokes submission. Their eyes are compelling. Hyperactivity followed by collapse is the energy of this defense pattern.An inflated chest which makes this person top heavy is a sign of the psychopath. Their choice in communication is to dictate to others. Their double bind is, “Kill or be killed.” This defense pattern demands to be supported and encouraged. The psychopath’s mask statement is, “I’m right; you’re wrong!” This type of person needs to trust.

Masochist … Autonomy stage of growth is when this defense pattern developes because the child is controlled, with forced feeding and evacuation. This person evokes teasing. The eyes are suffering/confused. The physical build is that the head is forward and heavy. The energy level is hypoactive (internalized energy). Whining disgust is how they communicate. The double bind is, “If I get angry, I’ll be humiliated; if I don’t, I’ll be humiliated.” This defense pattern demands to be independent. The masochist’s mask statement is, “I’ll kill (hurt) myself before you do!”It is their need to be assertive, free, and open to spiritual connections.

Rigid … This defense begins in puberty because of sexual denial and betrayal of the heart. This person evokes competition. Sparkling, bright and present are their eyes.Their energy is high and hyperactive.  The physical build is a rigid back and their pelvis is tipped back. The choice of communication is as a qualifier. “Either choice is wrong,” is their double bind. This defense pattern demands the right to have feelings (love/sex). The Rigid’s mask statement is, “Yes, but…” Interestingly it is their need to connect the heart to the genitals.

SexualitySchizoid/Sex to feel life force, fantasy. Oral/Sex for closeness and contact. Psychopath/Hostile,fragile,homosexual, fantasy. Masochicst/Impotence, strong interest in Pornography. Rigid/Sex with contempt.

The defensive action of these defense patterns are: Schizoid/leaves the body. Oral/life sucks. Psychopath/controls others. Masochist/demands and resists at same time. Rigid/acts appropriately, rather than authentically.

The results of their defensive action are: Schizoid/weaker body. Oral/inability to metabolize own energy. Psychopath/aggression and betrayal/drawn to self. Masochist/dependence; inability to differentiate between self and others. Rigid/inability to experience self; world is false.

The main issue of these defense patterns are: Schizoid/existential terror. Oral/Nurturance. Psychopath/betrayal. Masochist/invasion and theft. Rigid/authenticity, denial of real self.

The fears are: Schizoid/living in human body as an individual. Oral/not enough of anything. Psychopath/letting go and trusting. Masochist/being controlled; loss of self. Rigid/imperfection.

What they have experienced: Schizoid/direct aggression. Oral/lack of nurturance; abandonment. Pschopath/was used and betrayed. Masochist/invaded;humiliated. Rigid/denial of psychological and spiritual reality.

All of these defense patterns are not their truth. This was a means of protecting themself from an adult when young. Today these patterns rise as a means of defense when they are triggered by anothers words or actions. It is a cellular memory that triggers them into their defense. At some point, the child experienced trauma severe enough to begin needing to  block their emotions and instead use a defense pattern for dealing with the world.

Personally, I am aware in refletion that I was a psychopathic mother and I would like to apologize to my children because I had to have scared them at times. Please forgive me because I was most likely  more afraid than you.

My teacher Deborah King has opened my mind and heart to be accepting of others and to know that how they think, speak and act is a defense when triggered. To not criticize or judge someone but to look for the light within which is their truth. In learning to love oneself opens the door to love others as they are. No one knows how anyone was raised and the pain or fear they experienced. Born as spiritual beings of love and light we must learn from these lessons we chose to experience and educate ourselves on a spiritual path of healing.

Today I feel blessed to be on this amazing journey we call life. I know that there is a reason for everything and that anything is possible. I am in the process of peeling away the onion of my life, layer by layer and releasing the repressed fear, greed, lies, hatred, pride and anger that no longer serves me.  All that a child at any age really needs is to know they are loved and protected by their parent. Being a parent is a powerful responsibility!

I would like to forgive my mom for I am positive today that she did the best she could because of the childhood she experienced. She was an extremely fearful woman. I am clueless to how she was raised  but she has been one of my greatest teachers and for that I am grateful.

Who do you think you are?

The source of the above information is from my studies with Deborah King and she credits this information from Light Emerging by Barbara Ann Brennan.

MEDITATE. PRAY. JOURNAL

www.LindaAmato.com

www.DeborahKing.com