LA Believes in Love

As I continue writing on the shift of transformation that I was led to I feel blessed to share my journey. After traveling a life experience of loving unconditionally I found that I needed more in life. It was a time when my soul cried out to me. I was led to what I call Part “B” of my journey. A book opened my heart to experience a path that is believable but alternative for many. Yet, in my heart I ached to return to this part of myself.

I did not tread lightly on this new adventure as I flew forward anxious at times and fearful but within I knew I had to move forward. I ask myself always can one book simply allow me to believe as I do today and I must answer it was this one step that led  me to walk many steps.

This book that I speak of is by Louis L. Hay and I discovered it in a little quaint bookstore in Woodstock New York. In reading You Can Heal Your Life, I discovered her Philosophy which I embraced with open arms as well as the ability of affirmations to inspire me daily.

Louise L. Hay writes:

We are responsible for all of our experiences. Every thought we think is creating our future. The point of power is always in the present moment. Everyone suffers from self-hatred and guilt. The bottom line for everyone is, “I’m not good enough.” It’s only a thought and a thought can be changed. We create every so-called illness in our body. Resentment, criticism and guilt are the most damaging patterns. Releasing resentment will dissolve even cancer. We must release the past and forgive everyone. We must be willing to begin to learn to love ourselves. Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now are the keys to positive change. When we really love ourselves, everything in our life works.

I discovered my inner child hanging tightly on to the lids of my eyes when I looked within. I felt her sadness and despair to survive. Clueless to how my childhood, marriage and life experiences had filled a part of me with sorrow I fell in love with her and in doing so, I began to love me just as I was.

After reading this book I wrote affirmations for twenty-one days for twenty-one times until my thought process changed. I still say the same affirmations today that I began with in 2003 daily.

I trust the process of life to bring only good to me. I am safe. All is well. I am as God created me, a spiritual being of love and light. I only create peaceful experiences because I love myself. I am healthy, happy and whole body, mind and soul. There is time and space for everything.

This 246 page book is what enlightened me to open my heart and believe in me. I had many years of despair, depression and doubt in who I was due to the journey. Death has the way of manifesting a desire to know and understand reasons why everything happens. Abuse makes us look within to wonder why we are treated unkindly. Abandonment makes us wonder why we are not loved. Life has this way of allowing us to experience different emotions and fear no matter who we are. I credit this book to open wide the window of my soul to finally be nourished.

There are many books, classes and workshops I have enjoyed and I look forward to sharing with you the power and process of positive thought, word and action. My teachers have been many and I hope you enjoy the ride with me.

Pray. Meditate. Journal

www.LindaAmato.com

LA Believes ….

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As I kiss 2013 goodbye, I now embrace the new year with love and wonder for all that will manifest! My heart is open and bursting with love for the new, my family, friends and all of mankind as I look within to discover all that I can be to help another! The truth of my discovery daily of the miracles I witness comes from the spiritual belief that I connect to through meditation, prayer and journaling. My passion, my purpose is this daily ritual. It comforts me with a deep sustenance to love the life IAM manifesting through my thoughts, words and actions. IAM blessed because I believe in the powers that be! 

The journey in life is the path we take by the choices we create. Be adventurous and filled with wonder in the coming year. Open yourself to others by forgiving the past and all the drama. Be aware of what is your truth and what you believe. Love is all that is needed. Embrace Love! 

In sharing all that I believe I hope to help another by the simplicity of my journey. To start anew we must think new thoughts, speak new words and act with love and kindness to all. Today I would like to share the following as a gift of words from my heart to yours.

Prayer to Request Miracles

Claim a healing miracle in your Life!

In the name of the Light of a God that never fails,

I accept a healing miracle in my life this day.

I claim a miracle in every level of my being.

I claim a miracle of Love for my full Resurrection.

Beloved Father/Mother God

Blaze forth your miracle Light now.

Infuse your miracle of Light on Earth now.

I call for an Ascended Master healing miracle

In my heart, in my chakras and in my DNA.

Blaze forth the miracle Light of the Seven Rays.

Blaze forth the miracle Light of the Holy Spirit

Everywhere in my being where healing is needed.

I declare that IAM a miracle of God this day.

IAM a miracle in action made manifest.

IAM a blazing miracle Light from the Great Central Sun

Resurrecting me back to my true identity in God.

Blaze the miracles of Light through.

Beloved IAM, Beloved IAM, Beloved IAM!

(repeat 3,6, or 9 times)

Source: Prayers to the Seven Sacred Flames by Aurelia Louise Jones

 

Pray, Meditate, Journal

www.LindaAmato.com

LA BELIEVES …

 

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IAM GRATEFUL …

Being thankful and filled with gratitude at this time of year also comes with a bit of sadness for many. This past week I found myself a bit emotional while driving in my car. A song on the radio reminded me of my dad who has been gone since 1998. Thoughts filled my head that Thanksgiving day was my brother’s favorite holiday but he’s been gone since 1988. I think of my mom who stopped making his favorite stuffing that year and has dementia now and has drifted away from me as well. I allow the emotions to fill me up as tears fall knowing that there is nothing I can do about their choices in life. I write the word ‘choices’ because I read once that all deaths are considered a form of suicide because we manifest and create our lives by our thoughts, words and actions. I breathe in, take a moment to send them all my love. Yes, I miss them. Yes, I do wish they were here. Still I take the memories stored deep in my heart and smile at the ride I have been on.

My life is full with unbelievable abundance as I will share my home with those who are my family and friends. I have an amazing group of characters in my life and they bless me because I laugh with them, cry and fill with love for each one. I have been led down this path of acceptance and it comforts me to know that IAM not responsible for another’s actions. We all have free will and allowed to choose for ourselves how we want to be portrayed to others. I bless everyone with a small thought today to be a being of love during this time of being thankful and gathering with family and friends.

My oldest son has given me the gift of another daughter to love and three beautiful grandchildren. My mind fills with the memory of my life as a mom all those years ago and I wonder how did I do it all. Being a mom is a great gift but also emotional and at times filled with struggle.

My oldest daughter has blessed me with another son to love as well and a beautiful grandson. I watch her and see myself. My God, she has become me. It’s true! She is calmer and enjoying her son, husband and home which is all I can ask for. We as daughters either fight to be different then our mom or just like her. I see through the eyes of a deep well of love that there is a tiny part of my heart in all my children.

At this time my younger son who has never left home is following his heart to move out and expand his soul. I gather my thoughts around this and fill with an emotion that I shall now be where I started 42 years ago … just me and my husband. We have come full circle! The silence in the home is welcomed but at the same time the echo of their laughter and voices will always fill me up. A mother never forgets the simplicity of their child while they nursed them, held and hugged them. Those are life long moments that I shall always treasure.

My youngest daughter is the bravest of all my children as she has chosen a path of being of service and traveling far from all of us and now lives in California. Sometimes as a mom all I had to do was listen, support and say ‘yes’ to them. Of course I mixed in love to let them know how perfect they all are in their own way. My little girl amazes me the most because she is living a life connected to her soul’s passion and purpose. I wonder if I had anything to do with that?

IAM grateful that they all chose me as their mom. I know I have my memories to carry on my path forward and I pray somehow they too remember the fun, laughter, joy and love I embraced them with all those years ago and still do.

I marvel at these amazing people that surround me and help me to live my truth and expand my soul by the lessons I learn from them still. I know they have literally been gifts and on loan for me but every night I smile when I remember the joy that I have spoken to each of my four that day.

Rituals, traditions, gathering together with people who have been there through the years is my greatest reason for being filled with gratitude.  IAM abundant! I have been blessed with an amazing mother-in-law, father-in-law, sister-in-laws, brother-in-law and nieces and nephews, as well as, friends. I would like to take this time to thank them for all the years we shared  the holidays through the happy and sad times. I love you all. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Pray. Meditate. Journal.

www.LindaAmato.com

LA BELIEVES …

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Reflection … Grace … Peace …

I believe I look different. At times I do not know who IAM. It seems to me that IAM serene with clarity in my eyes. I feel vulnerable, open and yet pure. Have I found my grace? There are times I stumble into disbelief that there is this unity of one with the universe that makes me who IAM. Is this a sort of accomplishment?

I think it is the compassion I possess for myself that allows compassion for all. It is the reality of my existence to find peace and love within so that I have this peace and love to offer all. IAM tolerant of myself so that now I can be tolerant of all. It is the patience I have strived for that gives me today patience for all. Somehow it looks like I have achieved conjuring up space that blesses me as a gift to myself. This space I refer to is because I know love allows space to accomplish all one needs to fulfill them in their lifetime. IAM grateful for this gift because with it IAM given a chance to make a difference in any small way that I can through my thoughts, words and actions.

I know of the pain in this world and I have been able to endure mine as well as others because we are all one in the universe. It is the expansion of my own soul to reach out and be of service that guides me now. I find it is wondrous to live through this miracle of life that we are offered. The discovery that I can share with others the importance of balance in life by one being creative and passionate about the life their are living. To find that which stirs the soul to be alive is to find ones reason for being. At times IAM reflective in my own thought process of all that has come before today to lead me to all I can achieve. With that IAM grateful for yesterday and the many teachers I have learned from. Are we not all students in life, as well as teachers? I have made many wonderful happy choices to look back on which allows me to have no regrets.

Today I know the exact moment when the door of my soul opened to tell me to love myself – to love all. In doing so, I learned the true meaning of forgiveness and the realization that one must change oneself. No one can ever change another no matter how much they try. In helping myself to find the love I needed to exist I chose to change myself into journeying my life filled with a deep belief in spirituality.

My life, my beliefs, my love and strength are given to me today because I found my reason for being.

Pray, Meditate, Journal

www.LindaAmato.com

LA BELIEVES…

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Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway… We all have a mountain to climb!

There is a feeling of awareness in our personal daily possibilities which will lead us to our destiny. To find the truth and passion in a life’s goal is to find love and completion towards one’s destiny. One must accomplish love to return back to all that has already been deemed true. It is the love of self in life that opens the gates of freedom to be. Simply to be all that one can be like a star in the sky that is bright even in the night for all to behold. The light of love encompasses the beauty of love that cannot be denied. To believe in any other light or reason to see beauty is to deny the universe. One who is blind to love is blind to a true life experience and will live to learn again on earth.

To comprehend that love is light and light is love is to find a passion that ignites the love within. To accomplish respect and wonder at its power enables expansion which is belief of the process of life. These words by Leo Buscaglia are a truth in life. “Each of our acts makes a statement as to our own purpose.” To find ones purpose there is no where to look but within our hearts, thoughts and speech. If we see with the eyes of love, hear with the ears of love and speak with words of love we can only then find love for ourselves and for life. It is the totality of the completion of life lived in and with love that opens the gates of heaven on earth. There is wisdom to be gained from yesterday to absorb and to create today that which will allow tomorrow to manifest and set one free. This is the only way to live by bringing the past into the future intertwined with the present so that the wheel of life glows forever. It is total belief in what we think, say and do; yesterday and today that will manifest tomorrow.

Personally, I do not want to be upset about negative words inflicted on me by others. I have to work very hard to keep myself afloat in a life IAM striving for as a spiritual woman. Constantly, I repeat positive affirmations to clear my head of any negative words. I ask to be shown the way so that I may be fulfilled always and not to let despair be part of my existence. I believe now that my new beginnings will only start when I can accomplish constant positive thought by being accepting and loving of all. Negativity drains my life, my essence, my reason for being. I find that the lesson of patience is what I need to cling to for it is the resulting change and life IAM to live. I understand this and comprehend this to be the truth and unity of life. IAM one with the universe now and must believe in all IAM given. 

I embrace my thoughts of creativity with love and kindness daily. I see the beauty in all as I expand into the world of deep inner wisdom. I find the need to abundantly share with all as I become receptive to the fears of another. As a unit in the unity of life I have become one with all and love abounds in my soul as I bless the negative, fearful people in life that need to find peace, kindness and love within themselves first.

What nourishes me is being creative. It takes self-discipline to continue daily on a creative path. IAM blessed to have the greatest of gifts – TIME!  As I travel a mystical spiritual road filled with this inner wisdom to nourish and sustain me, I create new ideas and learn the cleansing of yesterday is the only way for tomorrow to be pure. Daily I look at the world with the eyes of love and try to calm the fears of all. I have been given the ability to realize materially I have all one can ever need. It is this new beginning in life that IAM drawn to as it feeds my spiritual and mental capacities. I believe much is not necessary to obtain in life but the search for truth and honesty. To in any form simply to help another is my goal. Through books, writing, speech or a thought of love it is all about the strength and power of words. I believe IAM a woman of words at this age in my life. I refer to myself as totally alternative in belief because IAM of good health and detached by choice in a life that I adore daily because of a connection to the Universe; God, Mother Nature’s beauty, Angels, Archangels, Spirit Guides, Ancestors and totem animals. Today, I consider myself as a woman who observes life.

It is the emotions of life that cause me to dig deep within to feel the sorrow in life that exists which creates pain and this cannot be denied. It is this pain I crave to help another release. It seems so small that any act of love will grow and prosper in life to the brightest of lights for another when love is expressed. The acceptance of this belief that love is needed allows love to fill me to bursting. I can only be a vehicle in life that can travel the roads with the keys of life opening the doors that are waiting to allow love in by the knowledge IAM given. I believe it is this knowledge and wisdom IAM here to share that is as necessary as the air I breathe.

PRAY, MEDITATE, JOURNAL

www.LindaAmato.com

LA BELIEVES …

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LOVE IS ALL THERE IS …

When we learn the language of unity and purpose we will fill with the energy of the universe. Some may believe it is a foreign language but in reality it is a means of conversation to experience. It has been easy for me to adapt to this change because I believe that there is a deep process to life and that everything does happen for a reason. To begin on this journey, is to fill with love for this universe and understand that there are paths of pain we all need to learn from. Those who continue over and over again to create pain and disharmony in their life are refusing to learn that there must be love to exist in harmony. Some are so disharmonious in their relationships they turn to toxins to release pain which they only succeed in burying  deeper. Layer upon layer the depth of their pain seeps until one can no longer believe that love is possible. A trap forms and one cannot see a way out because of the fear of changing who they are or who they believe they must be by another’s standards.

As humans, change frightens us. We are comforted by this feeling we have grown accustomed to when in reality change will free us. It is this wheel of life that we hold onto because in our mind there is no escape. We need to know that we can stop the wheel and make a change by our own thought process. To ignite a change one must begin with their daily thoughts about themselves first. Then they can slowly incorporate their thoughts about life and people to discover their inner peace.

There is a miracle to life which I call belief. It is this belief in oneself that allows us to learn lessons and  appreciate that there is a process to life. I believe that there has to be a process because as a nation today we have grown enormously through the years from when I was a child growing up in the 1950’s. Our importance as humans seems to be what we choose to worship and assume we are the ones controlling our lives. Once we learn that only the universe controls our lives and accomplishments and that we are only given choices to choose from we will notice the difference in the benefits we achieve when we trust in the process of life. It has been my passion for years now to know that IAM not in control but that the universe is. I believe that there is a reason for everything, that anything is possible and the key that opens all the doors is Love. Life become joyous and filled with wonder when one decides to believe in this miracle and discovers their true passion to become fulfilled. Simply learn to love the lessons of life and you will be shown the way to your truth and happiness.

There are little gifts that we are given; it could be a letter in the mail, a song on the radio, a book that is recommended, a person who suddenly appears in our lives or any small change in the process of our daily existence. Small choices we are all given to grasp and learn from to believe in the symbols of life so one becomes aware of the path in ones journey which is the process of life. I have asked myself the following: “Can I control my life? Can I control another’s actions? Can I know what is best for another?” My answer is “no!” Only the universe knows all and leads us through life which is our purpose to discover.

Meditate on these questions to discover your inner peace. We do not need to understand all nor do we need to know why life unfolds as it does. It is the warmth of this belief that a Higher Intelligence exists within and one can simply hand their life over to experience love and kindness. It is the reason one changes to believe in a Higher Intelligence that is Divine and knows all. Why not experience change, transition, self-discovery and your own completeness? Love yourself as you are first, to release yesterday’s barriers. No reason not to and most important is the benefit of pure love to create miracles. It is your power to claim. Being receptive to change allows growth and wholeness to lead one to their inner wisdom.

Try these affirmations; I am good. I feel good. I intend good. I am whole. I am beautiful. I am creative. I am kind. I am loving. I am loved. I am abundant. I am receptive. I am brilliant. I am never alone. I am one with the universe. I am happy. I am joy. I trust the process of life.

Pray. Meditate. Journal.

www.LindaAmato.com

 

LA BELIEVES …

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The Fears of Life Eventually Lead us to our Path, Passion and Purpose….

 

I believe with my entire self that anything is possible. I believe in love and kindness for all. I believe I have loved deeply and will always love deeply. It is the part of me that best describes who IAM! There was a time though that I feared life. Why? In retrospect I was lost and scared. I needed to believe first in who I AM. I created a pattern of letting my own self, my truth disappear and be taken from me. Strange words to write I imagine for others to read and yet it is the essence of life one needs to learn to see the beauty of which one can be in life. I have learned that we are all beautiful in our own way. We just glow brighter when we realize our own beauty comes from within. To let another rob us of who we are is a lesson to accomplish in returning to oneself, to simply remember our truth. This pattern we create to survive is our shield, mask or simply not who we believe we are allowed to be because of fear that has been gifted to us by our parents, spouses or society.

The path of life is to love the life you have chosen. To develop a trust that there is a process to all of life and that everything happens for a reason. Those who dare to believe otherwise refuse to learn about themselves. Clearly, I see the pain in life that we ourselves need to create due to the basic belief we choose when we choose fear. Once love replaces fear the pain will be no more. We all at one time need to grow our thoughts, words and actions with a belief that is positive by planting one seed at a time. A wholeness will then develop to set one apart. As we realize there is a part of us that is our spiritual self, we will then discover that these inner parts are deep and profound, as well as, perfect.

We create barriers in our own lives! Who or what is this barrier? It has to be an emotional state one gets into which is not contributing to who one really is. As the carrier of our own emotions we need to release the ideas, thoughts and feelings of yesterdays relationship with life that have become habits today. In doing so, a new beginning will unfold.

There is a definite oneness to life – a unity that connects us all yet we are individual with our own creativity to allow one to progress in life to complete self-harmony. We will then become balanced and have responsibilities through the service of this creativity to fulfill a life daily with this inner wisdom which is our self-harmony. Individually each one of us needs to attain this for ourselves. The barrier created of emotional attachment will be released then forever. The beauty of life is when we choose not to allow despair into  our being and to stop the growth of it to become a strength that is unacceptable. We must grow beyond what we ourselves can imagine.

There comes a time when we desire to travel alone in life without the strength of another. Why? We need to find the strength we possess within! When one flies to the highest change one can experience the discovery of who they can be will be waiting to complete them. This release of emotional attachment to our past is the grandest of complete growth and our independence. We all have the right to travel this journey of knowledge that we crave about who we are and who we can be.

There will then be a positive sight  to cling to and the path will be cleared of the debris of fear that had been gifted from one to another. The  body, mind and soul creates and craves to release the negativity of life that surrounds everyone. This is the needed escape to cleanse the thoughts of yesterday once and for all. The routine of the vicious cycle of life one is accustomed to will then end quite quickly. We cannot stop the fears of yesterday by the thoughts of trying to reason or ask why. That is not up to us IAM told. Embrace the lessons learned and leave the rest.

It is a bit difficult to be able to stand up and believe in oneself. Yet, it is needed and the only way is to follow the inner ache of the heart for more. The truth of who anyone can be is this accomplishment. We are never taught to love ourselves first but to do for others especially as women. It is expected that women must sacrifice their lives for those they love. Men also have the burden of being strong, successful, responsible and insightful to the needs of the women they love. Whether we are woman or man fear is of the ego. Love erases the fears of yesterday and connects one to God. Anyone can get a chance to live a life that can fulfill their desired dreams at any age. A miracle of insight and knowledge, of all one can desire, dream and imagine starts by the simple act of loving oneself.

One may wonder how one begins to love oneself and reach as deep within as they can to find their path, passion, and purpose – their power. It is not easy to relive the past looking for answers to all the questions that start with why! Know that there is a road to travel that is waiting for you. Leave the past where it belongs in the past and become aware of your present thoughts, words and actions. The steps can be many; from diet, to exercise, affirmations, Reiki, acupuncture, massage, meditation, prayer, energy healing and the inner work of taking pen to paper is the greatest therapy I have ever experienced to release all that no longer serves me today. My greatest moments in life have been when I connected to Mother Nature’s beauty; a walk at the beach, a walk around the block, sitting under the moon, swimming in water, even hugging a tree to ground myself to her and fill myself up with her strength. We are one as we all spend time with her daily in any form that we travel. Mother Earth connects us and supports us in all that we choose to be.

Pray, Meditate, Journal

www.LindaAmato.com

 

LA Believes

It has come to my attention that we need to embrace the inner child, hold her/him gently in our arms and hug her/him close. Fears of a child haunt most of us daily and we become fearful and filled with guilt and shame that we did something wrong. Why would someone we love and trust treat us abusively in any way or form? It has to be something we did to be treated badly a child believes. We grow up not able to like who we are because we believe we are not worthy of being loved. We struggle with the words in our mind that were screamed at us yesterday. We feel fearful that another will attack us. We are ashamed of who we are because we know we are not worthy of being loved or happy because of how someone has touched us inappropriately.

My advice to you today, as an adult is to look at yourself in the mirror and say “I LOVE  YOU!” Look deeply within to your inner child and even if you cry let her know she is not alone and you are here for her. If you can love you as you are and forgive yesterday’s pain you will be one step closer to healing. Forgiveness of self is first and with that comes love of self. 

I imagine how scared a small child of any age must feel if they believe they are unloved. Parents, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, and Teachers have this ability to take a child’s innocence away from them by their words and actions. But no matter what you were told or what was done to you … You have done nothing wrong! Abuse leaves its scars on your soul and fills your head with fear and pain. In dong so, we grow up fearful, unforgiving and filled with anxiety.

I believe personally that my mom was terrified of my dad when he was drunk or even sober because she never knew when the attack would begin at her. She knew he would never attack me and at nine years old she would wake me up to take care of him while she hid with my brother. She would cook him eggs and  somehow the frying pan, dishes and glasses would be thrown against the kitchen wall and she would run. She was clueless to how I felt or even if I was afraid. In its way her behavior made me stronger, this little girl knowing she could help her daddy and her mom could not. Today I can imagine that little girl at times depressed, filled with fear but knowing in my heart my dad loved me. However, I have struggled most of my life with knowing if my mom loved me. Just as she was afraid of my dad she was afraid of me, I believe.

Praying, my belief in God and the Angels, Journaling and meditating among my other rituals has offered me a safe haven for the little girl within to travel to. I have healed simply by the fact that I have looked into my eyes and I have seen the fingertips of my inner child holding on for her life about 25 years ago. I gathered her in my arms and gently I have told her how very special she is and that as a child of God’s she is unique and worthy of her life. This may seem unbelievable to many but all that inner child needs to know is that she is not alone, she is loved and she can be anything she wants to be no matter what another has done to her. In forgiveness of self we forgive another only because the past cannot be changed. I personally look back on my life growing up and savor the good times, the memories of going to Coney Island, a park, and walking around New York City with my dad. The difficult painful yesterday can no longer touch me because I have learned from the pain and fear. I have learned I am worthy of being a woman who is capable of being loved. I am happy, I am blessed. I am grateful for my mom today because I accept her with her fears and know they are hers and not mine.

It is difficult to live with our past at times but when we delve into knowing who we are today and release that which no longer serves us we can find love and joy daily by taking pen to paper and writing how we feel today and how we felt yesterday. No one can love you as much as you can love yourself. So go for it!

 

www.LindaAmato.com

LA BELIEVES …

Wisdom…

I imagine we are born with a deep understanding of life that sits silent until we are ready to connect the dots. In the past, I never would have imagined that I would grow up to be this woman who I am today. I believe there is this deep mystery to life and when we begin to question our own actions, how we speak and even the thoughts we think the door cracks open. Not completely open but a little bit every day! Before this opening begins we struggle through life trying to figure everything out because we have this need to know, this desire to control and this instinct that we know what is best for everyone.

I believe that the greatest of lessons to learn of course is the ability to love unconditionally. Then to not take anything personally, and to savor moments by staying present! As a mother in the past raising four children I believed I was setting an example and that I was being watched at all times by them. I knew to be present and today I am grateful that I have the memories in my mind forever of being an at home mom who stopped whatever I was doing to listen to my children. I supported their dreams, their achievements, listened to their fears and learned to respect them and to love who they love.

My youngest daughter, has decided to live far from her family and travels around the world as well as being a Recreational Therapist for those with disabilities. I look at her in awe as I am clueless as to God’s plan for her and I feel blessed that I know she does not belong to me and has her own inner wisdom that has cracked the door open early for her.

I am thankful that this inner wisdom has unfolded to show me that I have the ability to wake up in the morning daily to meditate, pray and journal as I thank God for another day to try to be like Him.

Is this wisdom because of my age? Or, is this the crack in the doorway opening wider?

I had a conversation recently with my husband about someone being middle-age … we had to smile because we are past the middle-age mark and yet I know in my heart I feel so young. I have a deep connection to that girl from yesterday and I marvel at how clueless she was about me and where I would be today.

This is the mystery of life I celebrate!

www.LindaAmato.com

LA. Believes

Today is my mom’s 82nd birthday! She has dementia! I have been wondering how is it possible to erase ones mind?

I believe that the fear, guilt, shame, grief and lies experienced on the journey of life begins slowly to erase that which is too painful to endure. Death which many fear simply because of the loss of a loved one’s touch, the grief of never seeing them or just the emptiness that comes with their physical body disappearing from our sight creates an ache that is inconsolable.

In my mom’s life experience as one of nine children growing up, at a very young age she was witness to death and grief as her siblings died one by one. Her mother wore her grief for everyone to see by wearing black clothes for her entire life, empty now and filled with pain because she was in mourning for her children. Laughter was not allowed because there was sorrow to endure. The ache that grew in my grandmothers heart would detach her from the living. Truly we are taught many lessons from one another as I have been able to learn.

My mom was taught well by her mom and never deviated from the lessons. Fear was her greatest class and she feared life to an extreme that devoured her own existence. First the incomprehension of a husband that was alcoholic and manic-depressant which terrified her and whom she finally ran away from, then her son and first born dying unexpectedly at 38 years of age by a drunk driver, her first grandson being murdered at the age of 23 and then her healthy husband dying of colon cancer 8 years ago. Today, I thank God that she has found a path of her own to continue to live without her fears. She is childlike now as she is cared for and plays dominoes daily! Clueless to who she is, where she is or what she has lived through.

Yesterday, though I was emotionally angry and feeling abandoned by her. I felt deep disappointment that she does not know me, my four children or my four grandchildren. She has missed so much and we have missed so much of her wisdom. I have dug deep within to make sense of this world she now lives in and delighted in the memories of moments from the past. I had laughed, cried, shopped, and walking holding hands with her. I had listened to her childhood stories over and over again, as well as the nightmares she carried from those years married to my father. I had journeyed with a woman I called mom and whom I loved unconditionally and still do. I am grateful to her and all I have learned from her.

Yes, I would love to share with her my becoming a grandmother but when I think back on my own childhood I never knew my grandparents but yet I know of them through her own stories. Mom, I promise you that I shall share your stories, your fears, your innocence with your grandchildren and great grandchildren. 

We are all here to love one another no matter what we assume another has done to us in any way or that which has created any form of pain. However, we all have free will to choose how we want to live and who we want to be. I choose to forgive, forget that which cannot be changed and love my mom as she was and how she is today.

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LA Believes

Be Kind

Be Careful

Be Yourself 

Words on the back of a white tractor trailer truck in front of me the other day.

i found myself repeating the above words over and over to myself all day long. With a smile I knew in my heart that;  I am kind and I definitely for the past 15 years have grown into being myself. I may look the same and do the same things but I have transformed into more of a Spiritual being finally. Then I stop and ask myself, “this is who you have always been, right?” The answer I receive is, “YES” but, and there is always a but, in a silent way.

The rights of my being have finally been shown to me since 2004 by the choices and changes I started to incorporate into my daily life. I discovered the following belief system and hugged these beliefs tightly in my heart to gather the strength to do God’s work. I embraced the blueprint of my soul by the transformation I thirsted for.  In learning all that I have, I am free today, to that which no longer serves me.

i have the right to be here!

i have the right to feel!

i have the right to act!

i have the right to love and be loved!

I have the right to speak and hear truth!

i have the right to see!

i have the right to know!

I believe and trust that there is a process to life and sometimes I may not be “careful” –  this I am working on. I know that there is a reason for everything. The truck, the words, all in front of me was for me to take a second and embrace the powers that be. The power of the Universe, God, Divine Intelligence, Angles, Spirit Guides are with me. I am never alone and this fills me with love and joy for the unknown which is greater than I AM!

My wish for all is to be blessed with the renewal of this time of year through Easter or Passover. Happy Holidays!

 

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