LIFE AS AN EXPERIENCE … Fear vs. Love

IMG_4034Our path is a journey of discovery for each of us. We all awaken at a time in our lives when we cannot take the pain any longer. There are many kinds of abuse, but mental abuse is the most difficult because the words spin around in our minds. An ego is a beautiful tool that can repeat words over and over again in our head. However, the words that scream within usually are negative and filled with anger from another.

“Life is a spell so exquisite that everything conspires to break it.” -Emily Dickinson

Fear stems from the root of our ego. We are blessed with this ego to guide us to awaken to the love of self and love of another. The battle within is that the fear believes it is better and knows what is right for another. Love is the opposite, for it is pure and breathes into all the essence of our truth. Once we embrace love as the belief of who we are no one can ever abuse us.

Each of our experiences is different, but if there is pain, tears, fear, and sorrow, then there is a form of abuse from another inflicted onto you. Why does another feel they have such a right to be mean, condescending, even angry at your actions and choices? Can it be they are mad at their choices in life today which have nothing to do with you!

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” -Henry David Thoreau

In the past, I searched for something more… I did not know at the time what I needed, but the universe stepped forward and showed me a different life that was possible. As an avid reader, I always believed I was in search of something, and that was why I read so much. My best friend has always been my journal. Writing helped me to survive through the years growing up and then as a wife and mother.

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I never understood mean people or controlling people who wanted me to be other than who I was. What was wrong with me? My path would take me on this incredible journey of books and teachers that would lead me to an understanding of people and their fears.

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” -Soren Kierkegaard

If I have learned anything, it is that people show you who they are. We as a society try to change one another because it is how we have been raised to believe. Our daily world is changing all around us, and yet we refuse to stop and take inventory of how we are living our lives. Instead, we are concerned with how others are choosing to live.

Abuse of any kind from another is not acceptable ever! Our planet, our home, our mother is feeling the abuse as well. It is our anger towards each other, hate and fear that is spinning her to rebel as well. Love is the essence of our life. Love is the tool to change who we are and to heal ourselves and our world.

I set myself free of those who hurt me by forgiving them and in doing so, I set them free too with love in my heart. I learned the greatest of lessons is that we cannot change anybody else. We can only improve ourselves. I aimed to become a better me. Opening my heart filled with love and acceptance for all is the journey I travel today.

“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” -Marcus Aurelius

Changing oneself opens the door to embrace that which is possible. The reality of this is that we can only change ourselves, it is impossible to change another. As we are one, genuinely connected by all that is others will change and as they do, will see us differently.

Even if others do not understand how we are different, they will know something is not the same. The most significant gift we can offer on those who abuse us is to accept them as they are because that is what we want them to do for us.

Words are the key to many angry outbursts that are not necessarily your truth but as how your abuser sees things. Thank them for their opinion and tell them you will think about their words. Fill your heart with love and move on.

“Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!” -Oscar Wilde

When we as women/men stay true to who we are and drop the defense patterns that no longer serve us, it is at that moment that our world will change for the better. It comes down to trusting God and that there is a process to live. Let go today and Let God do His work!

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When we choose to be kind, loving and accepting of them, knowing they are living in fear and praying for them, allowing them to be as they need to be, we are offering them, love. We must first start with loving whow we are.  It is not the truth of who others are that they show us. They show us their fear.

Some parents believe it is their right to control their children; that their children MUST listen to them even when they are adults. They fear that they are not needed anymore. But, mostly it is a belief that they as the parents, know what is best for their children. It matters not to them that their children are grown and with children of their own. There is never respect in a relationship that travels this path from the parent to the adult child.

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

There was a time where I chose to accept all people as they are because I saw their fears. Look, and you will also see their fears in how they talk to you. It is almost as if they regress to being a child again and in doing so, act like a child today. A sort of temper tantrum. Listen to them, and you will not need to defend yourself. You never need to defend yourself once you are an adult, mother/father as a wife/husband to another if you are loving and kind to all.

Unfortunately, you will never be able to reach who is abusing you. All you can do is change who you are and how you perceive others. When we all choose to love and not fear we drop our patterns of defense because we know love is all there is. Be the being of love you were born as no matter what.

Pray. Meditate. Journal.

www.LindaAmato.com

Being A Conscious Woman

“Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.”-Leo Tolstoy

As we approach the yearly day set aside to celebrate all the moms in the world, let’s extend love to all the women of the world! As we are born from our mom it is that aspect that we honor. We as women are sacred because we give life, we nurture and nourish. Our bodies are the temple to the children who choose us.  How have we forgotten our greatness? How have we forgotten our truth? How did  we become victims of a society that we as the temples of life gave birth to?

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” –    Nora Ephron

Being an avid reader and student of life I find it extremely upsetting to be reading the stories of abuse, fear, guilt, shame and women that feel they are victims today because of their relationship with their mother. We are more than that when we accept our truth, live our truth and gather together as community.  When we share our stories, we heal. When we forgive ourselves, we heal. When we choose to forgive our moms, we heal. When we honor our moms because within we know they did the best they could, we heal. As a society of healed women our daughters will become the goddesses they are born to be.

“Go ahead unleash your INNER GODDESS today. Embrace all that FABULOSITY that is amazing you…”

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Recently, I attended a gathering of women with my youngest daughter that allowed me to heal from that which no longer served me. The simple pain of a mom who did the best she could because of her own mothers fears, allowed me to do even better. I chose to be a conscious mother raising my children. There was an intuitive guidance that I received! A knowing to love unconditionally because I was setting an example. I knew I was being watched. There was this inner belief of mine that I did not own my children and all that was required of me was to listen, support, guide, be present and there for whatever needs were required of me. Even today I have learned that they still need me to be there for them, to simply listen when they need to vent. Being blessed to also be a stay at home mom I loved every aspect of being a mom.

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I have been given the greatest of gifts by my children to know I did them well. I gave to them something that I did not receive from my mom but which I am aware today she never received  from her mom! I forgive myself for at one time judging her. Today, I forgive her for not being able to do as I needed her to do. I thank her for teaching me to be the mom I am today.

“A Goddess is a Woman Who Breaks The Mold. She’s Who She Wants To Be … And She Offers No Apologies.” -Lisa Marie Rosati

Life seems to be like a Ferris wheel that we all get on as women because of how we were raised. We need to know we can get off the Ferris wheel and remember who we are, not who we have been told to be. As a society we need to love our children especially our daughters unconditionally because they are also the mothers of our grandchildren! As a mother of two sons as well, I am aware of their love for me, and the tenderness and love they possess for the women in their lives. They will be fathers of my granddaughters that will be a goddess of tomorrow! I am witness to the fact that I have done well by them.

“It takes someone really brave to be a mother, Someone strong to raise a child, And someone special to Love someone more than herself. -Lilly

Ask yourself what example of love have you provided to your daughters? Has it been a conditional love of punishment and abuse or an unconditional love of joy, acceptance, support and encouragement! Release that which no longer serves you because it is not your truth. Share your inner being of love with your daughter no matter what it takes from you to release your fears. Be honest when you reflect on what type of mom you are when it comes to your daughter. Maybe it is time to forgive yourself for the choices you made in the past to connect with your daughter again.

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“Our daughters are the most precious of our treasures, the dearest possessions of our homes, and the objects of our most watchful love. -Margaret E. Sangster

Born in 1951 I am of the first generation that was not breast-fed due to the invention of formula. Could that have been the beginning of daughters separating from their moms. The relinquishing of truly being nourished at the breast of our mothers because society deemed it healthier to buy formula! I chose to breast feed my children and I am happy to see the young women of today returning to this simple true connection to their babies.

I believe we as women need to return to the belief that we are goddesses. We are perfect in the bodies we have. We truly possess a beauty because we are the temples for life. We must love our temples for we are setting an example for our daughters. There is no women’s body that is too skinny or too fat. Our bodies are beautiful no matter what shape they are in. My motto is to find that which creates freedom of thought.

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“Calm and still is the water, no birds are in the air, the sun rises slowly to its peak. Trees stand tall, ever so strong, love is never wrong.” -Linda Amato (1994)

I wish all the women of the world a very happy and loving Goddess Day!

Meditate! Pray! Journal!

www.lindaamato.com

 

LA BELIEVES IN LOVE

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The purpose of my existence has been to love and be loved. I never questioned any other way of being. I simply knew to love. It mattered not the situation or how I was treated my choice was to love. At times when fear crept into my world I wrote poetry or took to my journal to make sense of others in my life being unkind. When I became a mother thirty-eight years ago the meaning of my being here was confirmed. To nurture and nourish with unconditional love was the key that unlocked the despair from yesterday.

There was a part of me that understood the natural essence of life and how to provide with my body through natural childbirth and breast feeding a cord that would sustain us both. This wonder in my first son was a miracle with my husband that we would create a total of four times. The memories I have stored away that I treasure from the very moment I met these babies has sustained me to know my purpose. I believe that they set the stage for what I do today in more ways than one can imagine. As a single mom my children kept me sane. I realized early that I never owned them and that I was simply the means of their existence and foundation.

I deeply loved the responsibilities that came with this new title I proudly wore that I was chosen to be the mother of Tory, Tina, Nicholas and Jessica. Dinner time was family time where we gathered together to share our day and to laugh. You may wonder if there was conflict, rebellion and disagreement between these siblings and society. I fool you not and share that we existed as a family bonded by a mother that saw no wrong in her children. Boundaries were a key ingredient in their world as they grew up. Do not think that they did not call to my attention the judgmental and critical attitude of their teachers. Still, I stood firm in my belief in my children no matter what.

Children learn by love and support which they received abundantly. Who they have grown to be in essence as husband, father, wife and mother is critical to how they were raised. The two youngest ones who are not married yet still have time to choose how they will approach the world of being a spouse or parent.

What they have accomplished today is their freedom to live in a world where many have fallen victim to drugs. Is this the reality of a society that has fallen victim to substances, due to the fact of pain, choice or a prearranged contract? Why does one choose to be addicted and another not? Only God knows the answer to that.

In reality, I am a child of an alcoholic but I chose not to be one. Is there a lesson here that I simply learned that I grasped at a young age? Can it be that what I was witness to was part of the plan? As we are all children at one time raised by our parents very early on, I wonder who is the teacher and who is the student?

Today as I blog my baby has turned thirty years old. I am amazed at how time is the one thing we can not stop or change or return to in our reality of life. Time does not wait for anyone. Children will grow up with or without love I imagine. Although I do believe as a mom that my greatest and only reason for being is to love these children under all circumstances.

Who I am today on this path that I travel is because of them, my husband and my parents. Many have travelled along with me and some have stayed while others ventured away. Know that we are all here to light the way for another with love.

Transformation is next…

Pray. Meditate. Journal.
www.LindaAmato.com

LA BELIEVES

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In honor of Father’s Day …

The men in our lives begin their journey as little boys, grow up, fall in love and become fathers and then grandfathers one day. We love them and at times get very upset with them! How do we accept them as they are with their little quirks and ways that drive us crazy? This is the roller coaster ride of one of the main relationships in the lives of all women and men. Well, we did fall in love with them so they had something that caught our hearts. I imagine at times that my own sons would one day love their wives as they love me, and their sons and daughters, as the treasure they are because of the cycle of life. Women and Men on a journey of discovery stumbling and yet so filled with love that we think we know what is best for each other. Why do we get this idea in our heads that we need to change one another? We develop this constant complaining about one another but what are we really fearful of? I believe Father’s day is a day to fill our hearts with love for all the men in our lives because as women the first man we fell in love with was our dad and then our sons. Know there is a reason for everything and never forget you chose your dad and all that he could teach you. You might have chosen him maybe to teach him something.

I have always believed that men had the hardest path because of the responsibility of their lives; loving their woman and providing for their family is a constant. Women on the other hand just do what they do naturally, and nourish and nurture everyone with love. I marvel at the man who cooks and supports his wife. The man who takes the time to know his children. The man who communicates with love in his eyes. May the fathers in our lives and the boys and men that will grow to be fathers in the future take the time to nurture and nourish themselves so they can shower the women and chidren in their lives with love. Men please learn to open your hearts for we truly do love you even when you make us crazy! Women stop nagging your man and just do what you do best – love him!

Happy Father’s Day to the Men in our lives and may the memories of all our dads this year fill us with pride! Forgiveness is key to experiencing love so like the song says … “LET IT GO!”

PRAYE. MEDITATE. JOURNAL.

WWW.LINDAAMATO.COM

LA BELIEVES

In honor of Mother’s Day… IAM filled with the emotion of love for all children and mothers. Mothers as well as children come with all different beliefs. As we are all brought up by a mother who was brought up by her mother who was brought up by her mother and so it goes. Fears and demons of the journey are gifted from mom to mom as they say. We develop a pattern in life to survive the issues as if we were blinded in discovering that which would set us free. Abandonment, Abuse, Despair filled with guilt, shame, grief and lies leads us to develop attachment and illusion on the journey. Know that God is Love and Love is God. God is within waiting for you to call Him and ask for help. We are given “free will” on the journey to know our truth, to discover we are gifted with a purpose and passion. We are born to learn from each other to forgive, love and know there is a reason for everything. Forgiveness is that which we release and which sets us free. On this Mother’s Day let us release that which no longer serves us as we pray to God to enlighten our journey with our passions, purpose and freedom. Know that your mom has done the best she knew how to do only because each of us are taught by another. If you were raised in a loving home, supported and encouraged to spread your wings and fly, then share the love! PRAY.  MEDITATE. JOURNAL. www.LindaAmato.com