LA BELIEVES IN LOVE

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The innocence of my life was that I loved. The path of my life has led me on a journey that I never questioned or wondered about. Placing one step in front of the other I walked forward trusting and believing in my destiny. I imagine at times that fear gripped me and tried to delay that which I needed to learn by the power of  my ego to fill my head because of the situation of my home life. The journey has a way of allowing us to stumble at times and pick ourselves up and move forward on this path we call life.

Raised in to believe in God, I went to Catholic school where real nuns in black dresses and huge rosary beads put fear and belief in sin in everyone. That I loved was simply my foundation of being taught to be a good girl. The rituals of my religion I embraced with open arms. Prayer, church and confession were weekly if not sometimes daily. Somehow when I was younger the air on Sunday was different to me. The sounds and people on a Sunday were different, as well.  I cannot explain it but Sunday was a holy day and a family day. The silence in the air I imagine today was because no one worked and all the stores were closed. It was peaceful to go to the Avenue and find that every store was closed. This was a time when there were no malls imagine that! My dad would go to the bakery and after church we had cheese Danishes and apple turnovers. When I was older and no longer in Catholic school I skipped church and walked the Avenue. Once in high school there was no one to answer to and the taste of freedom too great. Needless to say, I held fast to my prayers but the rituals of my childhood slipped away. I was too busy now.

What does the word love really mean? Love in the dictionary states a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend. Such innocence of affection led me to marry my childhood boyfriend and begin one amazing ride. We grew up during these past forty-four years together in our marriage. We truly lived an existence that was separate at times and filled with emotion at others. I was taught by my parents as he was taught by his about how to be in a relationship. I cannot speak for his childhood because I was not living in his home. Mine although briefly described prior to this page, I saw a father who cherished his wife although he scared her to death because of his addictions. It was this witnessing of separation between them as my brother and I went with my dad everywhere and during the last thirty years of his life it was I who spent time with him and cherished him. My mom’s detachment due to fear of him and me allowed her to favor my brother so the lesson I learned was to favor no one.  My husband and I had created a separate existence through the years while raising four children. I find this interesting to realize today because our roles somehow reflected a part of our own upbringing.

Blessed to be a stay at home mom it was my husband who has provided everything for our family. His drive and desires enabled us to live a life filled with abundance. A man of many talents he is a builder of homes today because he started his journey in construction but at one time he owned and ran two restaurants, a resale automobile business and a record label, as well as, being a manager for our daughter’s singing career.

Still I wonder always when did the innocence leave. Is it simply part of living at this time on planet earth that somehow, somewhere more became a requirement to exist. Why did we choose to go further than our parents in every way? Was it offered to us because of our education, beliefs or simply the fact that change and growth is part of the plan for everyone. An example I think of was that I grew up without a car. At one time we had seven cars in our home. Another would be; I grew up with a telephone only in the kitchen. Our house had one in every bedroom and there were five, living room and even in our master bathroom which brought it to a total of eight. Is this all considered progress, want or necessity.

Now that we are alone in our large house we have only one television in the living room and we have downsized to five telephones and three cars. My life is abundant and yes I am grateful beyond words for the ride i have been allowed to experience. My yesterdays have taken me to a place of deep understanding that there is a reason for everything and there are no mistakes ever in life.

To come … the children!

Pray. Meditate. Journal

www.LindaAmato.com

LA BELIEVES …

Retreat … Ritual … Renew … Believe …

I am amazed daily when I hear of others needing to go on a Retreat to find themselves, to learn what their purpose in life is. I hear stories where everyone blames their parents. I see their pain in their eyes because they fear they are not worthy. Many of us have had abusive, alcoholic and detached fearful parents that have projected their fear unto us because they knew of no other way to be. Generational is the word as life is handed down by our parents from their parents and so forth. It takes three generations to break the pattern of depression, I have read. My story is no different or less painful and trust me I was a fearful child and woman until …

I went within to discover my inner child and love her as she is. I have promised her that I WILL protect her and love her forever. I apologized that I was overwhelmed by the circumstances of my childhood but now I know better.

Today at this very second in time, I believe my life is a RETREAT! I suddenly came to this realization one day when I sat at my kitchen table where I have been sitting for almost 26 years every morning to journal. I simply and honestly love the written word and the insight I receive from the books I read and from the words I journal. Of course, living on the water is an added bonus. I am blessed and grateful for all that this life experience has shared with me but to be able to know that ritual in my life is essential. My daily ritual is to first meditate, pray, journal and then go outside and thank Mother Nature for another day to be of service. I ask who can I say ‘yes’ to, today? I light candles, burn incense and read a spiritual book. I actually time my reading because I am capable of getting lost in a book. The other day I realized once again an ‘aha’ moment that God has given me the time to “play” with HIM! I cannot say which one of these rituals saved me from a life of despair and fear but the one that I have done my whole life is taking pen to paper. My journal was my friend and confidant – a form of therapy from the moment I learned to write. Stories, poems, letters have been a writing passion of mine.

I have learned through that which has guided me, which I imagine is my Spirit, to somehow renew myself. I am not the girl I was yesterday because I have embraced my past, my inner child and I have hugged her close to my heart through these rituals I needed to create to become who I am today. I did not question, I did not doubt everything but I moved forward looking for nothing more than inner peace. In doing so, I took the lessons I have come here to learn and I have said “YES, I am Woman! I have purpose! I am powerful! I am allowed to be ME!”

I travelled a path filled with this desire to know why others were not kind, respectful, loving or even just honest. I wanted to learn why people do the things they do to harm themselves and those they love? Why do parents not know how powerful they are and that they wound their children from an early age to become depressed which develops into being addicted, violent, angry and abusive?

As I sit at my laptop amazed at all that I have learned and that God has given me the ability to share with others that we are all His Children, we are not alone ever, and that only we can do the work through many different avenues to release that which no longer serves us.

For the past ten years I discovered a woman within that I never would have believed was there. I have been able to renew myself completely. Today, I proudly acknowledge I am the author of the book Making Believers: Connect to the Light within. I offer One-on-One Sessions for those who God sends to me to share information with. I am a student of Deborah King’s 21st Century Energy Medicine program. My passion is to learn, to know, to discover knowledge that I can share because it is the foundation of my being – it is what helps me to renew myself daily.  Like an onion I am still peeling the layers away. I started a Monthly Healing Circle of Love this year and I had my version of a Women’s Discovery Retreat through the Written Word in April.

I believe that anything is possible and that much can be learned from the women of yesterday who have taken the time to retreat through ritual to renew themselves as they believe who they are today when they embrace the good in their life and hug their inner child so that she finally feels worthy and safe.

www.LindaAmato.com

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